Fuck everything.. so ya, in past few weeks ive managed to: lose my job, lose my best friend to a sensless war. lose my gf for a dumb fucking reason, get hit by a car, get jumped, getting kicked out my house, owe the bank $520 and to top it all off i get an email my ex's friend that read something like im a worthless piece of shit because i said i ( Read more... )

I woke up this morning.. to remember that i am single yet again. Im not sad, not angry, or even lost. I know why this happend, and i know it isnt my fault. The last thing she needs right now is a relationship.. especially a long distance one. I just want her to be happy, thats all i ever wanted. She is always stressed out and always feeling sick. I ( Read more... )

Its Wednesday October 19, 2:34 am. Tonight.. I fucked up. I was talking to my girlfriend earlier, her friend Patrick had just left. She was telling me that she wanted to move in with him. I should have been fine with it.. but ive had other thoughts on my mind all day. Not to long ago my gf Tess asked me if i would break up with her if she went to ( Read more... )

Today is monday october 17, 2005. Today was a very nice day. Gloomy and wet. Just how i like it. ^_^ I went to work this morning as usuall. i keep telling them to schedual me during the night. they seem not to agree with me. oh well money is money yes? I got to take some good pictures today. which makes me happy. speaking of making me happy. Tess ( Read more... )

I know i should be asleep right now, but how can i sleep? I had just got off the phone with her, and as she sleeps right now, i think of her. its still to early to tell.. but i feel that she is something special. the feeling is different for some reason. like its clear and i understand it. im not lost and im not unsure. it just feels right, like im ( Read more... )

Wow.. yet again i havent updated for a while.. blah. but now that i have the computer in my room up and running hopefully i'll be updated even for frequently. but yah.. what to write about? i donno.. hmm.. life is good.. i do find myself to be "gitty" sometimes now, even as disgusting as that sounds. my depression isnt at its prime.. actually in ( Read more... )

Wow i havent updated for a while now. Well this could be due to my constant thinking. All i ever do now is ponder nonsense. Ponder the meaning of life and such. Ive came to some conclusions. I understand things most do not. To exist is to want happiness. To exist is to inturupt others existence. To defy.. to want.. to not want... I dont know.. well ( Read more... )

Whoa.. havent updated for a while now.. well.. nothing really to say..sept... LIFE HAS BEEN HECTIC!!! pishaa... but oh well.. lol n_n all is well in the life of organizm. I met a girl named Heather and i think she likes me. i know i like her. and i will be taking her to the prom next month n_n hehehe prom... im not a prom kinda guy.. but hey.. got ( Read more... )

This morning i woke up to find myself breathing. Should i be happy for this? I am. I dyed my hair red this morning for no apparent reason. It didnt come out like i hoped yet, i like it. (God you must be really bored if you are reading this... anyway..) I have been drawing a lot more lately. More comic ideas flowing through my mind. I hope to finish ( Read more... )

Wow a lot happened yesterday. I broke up with her. I lost myself.. physically and mentally. But i have found myself. My head is straight and i am back into the norm. Things seem to be moving along smoother irregardless if i miss her or not. Mabye one day we will get back together. But for now i dont really expect anything from her, only to remain ( Read more... )