first awful kiss.
A first kiss. An... awful one.
“And what a fine young man he’d be.” Remus would refrain from rolling his eyes, or killing her, or giving her to Sirius to drown in the lake like he’d been asking to. “Let’s try that again.”
The first girl Remus Lupin ever kissed was Eglantine Everness, a Slytherin one year his junior, atrocious at Charms. She was so unbearably awful in general that only Remus would take her on for tutoring. She was a pretty girl, with straight blue-black hair cresting her shoulders, and green-and-gold eyes like a sphinx, all mystery. This, of course, was tempered with a shockingly rude mouth and an ability to fuck up even the simplest of incantations.
“It looks like an M to me !” she would screech, after ruining another sheet of parchment. “I could buy a better tutor at Zonko’s !”
“And what a fine young man he’d be.” Remus would refrain from rolling his eyes, or killing her, or giving her to Sirius to drown in the lake like he’d been asking to. “Let’s try that again.”
And so it went, one interminably mindless day after the other. Eglantine got a series of near-passing grades until December, wherein she received full marks on a (remedial) exam. There was a congratulatory letter for her, brought by the downy black owl of the House Everness; whose crest was an unfortunate conflagration of heron and boar. There was a set of new dress robes from her mother, which she wore shamelessly to class. And there was, most mysteriously, a small drawstring purse containing three knuts and a note addressed to Remus: don’t spend it all in one place.
This last item provided hours of hilarity for Sirius, who confiscated the purse (after encouraging Remus to indeed spend it all in one place, on chocolate frogs) and wore it around the common room with Peter’s glasses perched on his nose.
“TOO EXPENSIVE !” He would holler at the fireplace, and the curtains. Unlucky first-years were treated to a more personal attack. “Are you so bold to imagine that I am made of galleons, you rascal ?! Away, and touch not my money sack, my sack of money !”
As a result of a year’s hopeless drudgery and some valiant efforts on Remus’s part, Eglantine did fairly well at the end of the year, and was subsequently sent a note from her grandparents inviting her on a vacation to Morocco. This tipped something sturdy inside of her, for a moment, and she did something they’d both live to regret. She ran into the library and kissed Remus Lupin on the mouth, with all the intensity that a selfish fourteen-year-old girl (thinking only of monkeys and curry and white sand beaches) could muster.
“I’m, I’m terribly happy.” She said, backing up and wiping her mouth indelicately, with the hem of her sleeve. “I suppose you had something to do with it.”
“Er.” He said, by way of reply. It had been fairly warm and wet and not unpleasant, except for the wiping afterwards, which was awkward. “Er-hem. Glad for you, hem.” When she ran off he wasn’t much surprised. He didn’t tell anybody about it, except Sirius, who looked at him in a funny sort of sideways upside-down manner; which gave him a knot in the hollow of his stomach.
The next day he’d planned to give all her practice essays back, graded with his favorite quill, and he thought perhaps that he would ask her if she’d like to eat lunch with him tomorrow, if she could be persuaded not to swear at the juice for being “less than perfectly delicious”. He waited for a half-hour at their regular time but she didn’t come. He waited another fifteen minutes, because he’d never been kissed before, and he was curious as to why it had happened at all. At half-past six she came, red in the face and frowning.
“You even tasted dirty, mudblood.” She hissed, and retreated. He stood with the essays in his hand for a long moment, staring at the floor, and then went down to dinner. He did not tell this to anyone, not even to Sirius; until at last he was asked enough times. Once again Sirius gave him an upside-down look, and once again the knot in his stomach prodded and poked.
Incidentally, Eglantine Everness is also the only girl in the history of Hogwarts to be punched judiciously in the face during breakfast, by a scraggly-looking black-haired girl that nobody had ever seen before, or since.
“And what a fine young man he’d be.” Remus would refrain from rolling his eyes, or killing her, or giving her to Sirius to drown in the lake like he’d been asking to. “Let’s try that again.”
The first girl Remus Lupin ever kissed was Eglantine Everness, a Slytherin one year his junior, atrocious at Charms. She was so unbearably awful in general that only Remus would take her on for tutoring. She was a pretty girl, with straight blue-black hair cresting her shoulders, and green-and-gold eyes like a sphinx, all mystery. This, of course, was tempered with a shockingly rude mouth and an ability to fuck up even the simplest of incantations.
“It looks like an M to me !” she would screech, after ruining another sheet of parchment. “I could buy a better tutor at Zonko’s !”
“And what a fine young man he’d be.” Remus would refrain from rolling his eyes, or killing her, or giving her to Sirius to drown in the lake like he’d been asking to. “Let’s try that again.”
And so it went, one interminably mindless day after the other. Eglantine got a series of near-passing grades until December, wherein she received full marks on a (remedial) exam. There was a congratulatory letter for her, brought by the downy black owl of the House Everness; whose crest was an unfortunate conflagration of heron and boar. There was a set of new dress robes from her mother, which she wore shamelessly to class. And there was, most mysteriously, a small drawstring purse containing three knuts and a note addressed to Remus: don’t spend it all in one place.
This last item provided hours of hilarity for Sirius, who confiscated the purse (after encouraging Remus to indeed spend it all in one place, on chocolate frogs) and wore it around the common room with Peter’s glasses perched on his nose.
“TOO EXPENSIVE !” He would holler at the fireplace, and the curtains. Unlucky first-years were treated to a more personal attack. “Are you so bold to imagine that I am made of galleons, you rascal ?! Away, and touch not my money sack, my sack of money !”
As a result of a year’s hopeless drudgery and some valiant efforts on Remus’s part, Eglantine did fairly well at the end of the year, and was subsequently sent a note from her grandparents inviting her on a vacation to Morocco. This tipped something sturdy inside of her, for a moment, and she did something they’d both live to regret. She ran into the library and kissed Remus Lupin on the mouth, with all the intensity that a selfish fourteen-year-old girl (thinking only of monkeys and curry and white sand beaches) could muster.
“I’m, I’m terribly happy.” She said, backing up and wiping her mouth indelicately, with the hem of her sleeve. “I suppose you had something to do with it.”
“Er.” He said, by way of reply. It had been fairly warm and wet and not unpleasant, except for the wiping afterwards, which was awkward. “Er-hem. Glad for you, hem.” When she ran off he wasn’t much surprised. He didn’t tell anybody about it, except Sirius, who looked at him in a funny sort of sideways upside-down manner; which gave him a knot in the hollow of his stomach.
The next day he’d planned to give all her practice essays back, graded with his favorite quill, and he thought perhaps that he would ask her if she’d like to eat lunch with him tomorrow, if she could be persuaded not to swear at the juice for being “less than perfectly delicious”. He waited for a half-hour at their regular time but she didn’t come. He waited another fifteen minutes, because he’d never been kissed before, and he was curious as to why it had happened at all. At half-past six she came, red in the face and frowning.
“You even tasted dirty, mudblood.” She hissed, and retreated. He stood with the essays in his hand for a long moment, staring at the floor, and then went down to dinner. He did not tell this to anyone, not even to Sirius; until at last he was asked enough times. Once again Sirius gave him an upside-down look, and once again the knot in his stomach prodded and poked.
Incidentally, Eglantine Everness is also the only girl in the history of Hogwarts to be punched judiciously in the face during breakfast, by a scraggly-looking black-haired girl that nobody had ever seen before, or since.