*sits quietly on his bed*

*clasps his hands together*

I've been feeling decidedly...angsty lately. Not sure why, really. I know I'm lonely. No one comes to visit me anymore unless they're spying on me to make fun of me later on.

Why can't I just...find someone sincere?

*rat-a-tat-tats on his keyboard*

*tappy tappety tap tap*

*stares intently at the screen*

*pauses*

*looks around to make sure no one else is in the room*

*slowly reaches for the package of lunchmeat hidden under one of his monitors*

Don't ever ask to borrow a pair of underwear from Neo. He'll make obscene demands of you and then he'll regret it.

( Read more... )

*walks past a deli*

*spots several slabs of sliced lunchmeat hanging in the window*

*stops in mid-step*

No...no, no, no...

*looks again*

Damn you, think of the kittens...

*squats in the tiny community shower adjacent to his bachelor pad in the city*

*mutters to himself* Alright, I can't decide. Have I had enough screwing around?

*warily checks his genitals for some sign of venereal disease*

*counts off on his fingers*

Fifteen chicks in the past three months. Holy shite. Either I'm the man, or I'm a desperate ( Read more... )

*opens his eyes and looks up at the ceiling from his bed in his city quarters on the seventeenth level*

*groans and clutches at his head*

*mutters* What a fuckin' night, Christ...

*absently scratches at his balls*

Shit...this vacation stuff is killing me. I need to get back to work and figure out what I've missed.

*roars with laughter, his entire body shaking riotously*

YEAH FUCKIN' RIGHT.

People seriously need to stop multiplying around here. Or replicating...whatever the hell they're doing.

HA!

Okay, well...after finding out that the chicks don't want me to leave much deliberation, I've decided that I won't go.

To Captain Niobe, I'm sorry I hadn't said anything to you before, but I hadn't really made up my mind yet. It just seemed like I wasn't getting much use out of myself lately (not like that you sick bastards) so I was ( Read more... )