I was thinking about the phrase: comfort zones. Other than confirming how one best deals with investments, I look at it as more of an alert zone. Alert to denial, stagnation, crowding fears, and numbness
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I liked your phrase: Everyone's talking and no one is listening". I think I agree with you. Even my children, things I've mentioned more than once and still they don't grasp what I've shared with them. Everyone seems to be on a ride to nowhere. My daughter never stops complaining/yelling and has a hair trigger temper. Then she tells me how quickly her daughter (my darling granddaugher) starts screaming. . . where does she think my granddaughter gets it from. My daughter models it. But, if I tell her that, I risk being screamed at. I will tell her, just not today.
I used to know a man who collected recyclables and deposit bottles too. I used to save mine for him and keep them in the trunk of my car to give them to him when I'd see him. He was definitely homeless, not so clean or handsome. And barely spoke. But, he always said thank you. So, that's something. I never wanted to make him feel awkward, so I never asked him anything other than if he wanted the bottles.
Getting back to the friend thing. I feel for you. wackdaddy and I spend lots
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I agree, I will feel awkward to, asking the guy a question, but if it's casual and friendly, I hope that it will be easy for him to answer or not answer. Its something I find myself regretting,not reaching out more. I notice when I'm walking with Sahara (my dog) people talk very freely with me - too freely, I might add. I get so much unasked for advice.
Bummer about the car door handle. Funny, if that happened to me when I was much younger, I know I would have entered through the passenger door for a long long time!
I've never been completely comfortable with groups of people, I know exactly what you mean about feeling invisible. It is so great to have a good partner, I'm happy for you two. There is so much ease inside a relationship. I'm back to feeling exposed and anxious, and acting as if I don't. Default mode.
So what is your daughter's situation? Is she overwhelmed with responsibilities and finances? It must be hard to walk the line of helping/interfering. But as Mom and Grandma, I'd bet you have alot of sway.
Friends can be difficult to manage. It's not like we're in school. There are many demands on our time, jobs, family and if kids are involved ... fugetaboutit. I have found the easiest friendships to manage are those revolving around activities, golf, hiking, fishing or whatever interest you share. It creates events you look forward to, a calendar that keeps you in touch.
I've been trying to get my regular poker game going again. It's been so long, years, since I've had one. I had six guys coming over this Friday, it dropped to three today, game off. I've reached the point where I'm going to replace the married-with-children guys with more available men.
The talking without listening issue is common, especially with larger groups. I find the best conversations with friends are one usually one on one. It's easier to hear one voice and get through to a single friend. I'm okay with groups, but they don't offer the best environment for serious communication.
I hope balance returns to your life, and it comes soon.
LOL Yes, married men with children are just plain unavailable. I appreciate your comments.
I love one-on-ones and in-depth conversations. That is intimacy and its something I've always looked for. I'm also something of a loner. Being in a relationship balances me, but like we've mentioned before, there are other benefits when solo.
I reach out when I can and feel like it. Then I do the loner things; read good books, watch good tv/movies, be with dog, write, do yoga. And take advantage of the internet, where it seems I have my best conversations.
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I used to know a man who collected recyclables and deposit bottles too. I used to save mine for him and keep them in the trunk of my car to give them to him when I'd see him. He was definitely homeless, not so clean or handsome. And barely spoke. But, he always said thank you. So, that's something. I never wanted to make him feel awkward, so I never asked him anything other than if he wanted the bottles.
Getting back to the friend thing. I feel for you. wackdaddy and I spend lots ( ... )
Reply
Bummer about the car door handle. Funny, if that happened to me when I was much younger, I know I would have entered through the passenger door for a long long time!
I've never been completely comfortable with groups of people, I know exactly what you mean about feeling invisible. It is so great to have a good partner, I'm happy for you two. There is so much ease inside a relationship. I'm back to feeling exposed and anxious, and acting as if I don't. Default mode.
So what is your daughter's situation? Is she overwhelmed with responsibilities and finances? It must be hard to walk the line of helping/interfering. But as Mom and Grandma, I'd bet you have alot of sway.
Reply
I've been trying to get my regular poker game going again. It's been so long, years, since I've had one. I had six guys coming over this Friday, it dropped to three today, game off. I've reached the point where I'm going to replace the married-with-children guys with more available men.
The talking without listening issue is common, especially with larger groups. I find the best conversations with friends are one usually one on one. It's easier to hear one voice and get through to a single friend. I'm okay with groups, but they don't offer the best environment for serious communication.
I hope balance returns to your life, and it comes soon.
Reply
I love one-on-ones and in-depth conversations. That is intimacy and its something I've always looked for. I'm also something of a loner. Being in a relationship balances me, but like we've mentioned before, there are other benefits when solo.
I reach out when I can and feel like it. Then I do the loner things; read good books, watch good tv/movies, be with dog, write, do yoga. And take advantage of the internet, where it seems I have my best conversations.
Is what it is. ;-)
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