So it's been a while since I updated. I don't know why I have a paid account, but I just feel like I'd be missing out if I didn't have one
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I hope you feel better soon. Don't let anybody make you feel bad about yourself when you fall short (of what?) due to being sick. You need to take care of yourself and your beautiful daughters, and yes, cleanliness may be a part of it, but definitely not the first priority. I don't know enough about your marriage to know whether or not you should leave (and even if I did, it's ultimately your decision), but please don't let anybody abuse you. And make sure that either staying or leaving is YOUR wholehearted decision, not your mom's, and not just based on the fact that it's hard to leave (I'm sure it is). You will be in my prayers and I'm here if you need to talk.
(Weirdly I can't see the posting date of this.) Without trying to be too negative, when you already feel like you can't care for your girls as you want to, and have an emotionally abusive husband who apparently can't be bothered to hire a household help for a deep clean weekly to support you, a third baby is not the solution. With another partner, maybe, but it frankly sounds like you're just setting yourself up for more dependence on him and more guilt because then you'll have to divide your strength to cleaning and three kids, and him. If you don't have counseling yet, you should definitely get it before ttc. You have power over your own life, you just need to take charge... with help, if needed.
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