So I've been dating a great guy for a few months now. His name is Matt, and he seems pretty much amazing in every way, but I'm very skeptical. About a month into our relationship he asked me if I wanted to have sex without a condom, so I've been doing as much learning as possible to see if it's even safe. I've been on birth control for about a ( Read more... )

So, currently I am seeing 3 guys at the same time. One of them is mostly out of the picture at this point (Brendan), but he still wants to see me. The three are: Brendan, Alex, and Matt (Ketchup). All three of them have great qualities that I like. Brendan is very sweet, innocent, and would adore me even if I had poo smeared on my face. Alex is a ( Read more... )

Pros ( Read more... )

I'm so tired tonight. Going to go to bed shortly. I can't stop thinking about horses and Rick. I'm so confused about what I want to do with my life, and this summer. I don't really want to go to Rick's for 3 months, I want a summer to go traveling, hiking, and exploring other options, but I feel so SO guilty leaving Max out in Loveland to just hang ( Read more... )

Dechen ( Read more... )

Dolly just called, and I let it go to voicemail because I didn't want to talk to her. She told me there are two available horses for lease and/or just riding. I don't know what to do with that. I called her over 2 months ago and left her a message about lessons and she didn't call back until now? I thought she didn't want to teach me anymore. I can ( Read more... )

I went to a party in Denver last night and there he was. Laughing and being drunk, playing drums. Why do I miss him so much? He's just a lost guy who doesn't know what to do with himself. I wish I understood why I am so drawn to him. It was so painful to see him, smiling and laughing; it brings back the love I had for him. There is something so ( Read more... )

So I just got home from a fight with my mom... I think this is the first time in my life she has actually been my mom and gotten after me for something stupid I've been doing. She was mad because I am late every time I make plans with her (or anyone) and she's sick of it. I just acted like a complete whimpering baby about it and started crying and ( Read more... )

I saw Kevin today for the first time since I broke up with him, and as I suspected, it created nothing but sadness. I felt so alone that I went over to Roberto's for a while. We watched a couple of movies and then got to talking about it. It was so nice to have someone to talk to today. I just can't believe how sad I am, and how easy it is to want ( Read more... )

I'm sitting here at my desk. It's thursday night, and I'm cleaning. I'm heading up to Rick's in the morning so I'm getting some things ready. I can't shake the feeling that I've lost something. I just have this pervasive loneliness that has crept in and settled in my mind in a comforting, numbing sort of way. I just feel like I've missed the boat, ( Read more... )