Poly-Baiting: Why We Need a More Inclusive LGBTQ Movement

[silver_sandals]

Poly-Baiting: Why We Need a More Inclusive LGBTQ Movement

by Vivienne Chen

Anti-LGBTQ campaigners have often used the issue of polyamory-or rather, a twisted media presentation of “polygamy,” which is distinct from ethical nonmonogamy and polyamory-as a slippery slope argument against LGBTQ equality, particularly when it comes to marriage.

The worse

Comments

[rex_dart]

If you aren’t squeamish about standing behind a poly-inclusive LGBT movement

Polyamory does not make one queer any more than asexuality does so what exactly is this person asking for?

This article is really noncommital and wishy-washy and if this person wants to argue that polyamorous people are a marginalized class on par with queer people, they should fucking say it instead of dancing around the issue.

[mycenaes]

yes to all of this.

/waits for wank and gets popcorn

[silver_sandals]

I thought it was pretty clearly asking for LGB activists to stop distancing themselves from the poly community, since a lot of the goals are very similar- recognition of relationships and family units, for example.

[thecityofdis]

since a lot of the goals are very similar

In print, yes, certainly.

In practice, not really. The legal goals and solutions sought by the poly community are ENTIRELY different, and require entirely different approaches to legislation.

Which is why the connection strikes me as tenuous, at best.

[bleed_peroxide]

Honestly, polyamory shouldn't be as huge of a deal for people as it is. So long as all parties are cool with it and it's all consensual, who cares? It's no worse (to me) than monogamous love.

People just need to get with the fucking times. It's 2012. Why are people still getting all up in others' business about who they love and/or fuck? Unless you're involved, it ain't your business.

I wish the article was a bit more... solid in what it was talking about? It's trying to avoid saying outright that they feel that poly couples are marginalized, which... perhaps they are. They certainly get a lot of flack that monogamous couples don't. Just say it outright.

[casketscratcher]

Can LGBTQIA activists and poly activists work together on common issues, or will queer poly people continue to be thrown under the bus?

Sorry, are you suggesting here that queer people are "oppressing" poly people? Or that queer people are somehow oppressing only queer poly people?

Also why is it up to queer people to take up poly activism or whatever? Why is it always up to the marginalised group (see every "if you're a feminist why aren't you fighting for men's rights?" argument ever) to do the activism for everyone?

[silver_sandals]

...but... men aren't marginalized. It's not that queer people have to be poly activists, it would just be nice for them not to distance themselves from queer poly people and their goals.

[rex_dart]

If you want to make the argument that poly people are marginalized specifically for being polyamorous and people who are not polyamorous have some sort of privilege over them - which, keep in mind, includes queer people having systemic power over poly straight people - you are going to have to make that argument because I am pretty certain we are not all operating under the assumption that that is the case.

[casketscratcher]

Yeah, I'm starting to wonder about that too.

[fierceleaf]

I'm neither LGBTQ person nor polygamy person, but I do not understand why polygamy or polyamory are criticized in XXI century. The only reason is that most people are steeped in prejudice.

[sesmo]

Because a lot of the history of it is about oppressing women and communities like those crazy Jeffords people. Safe, sane, and consensual poly is OK. Although sorting out custody, taxation, and inheritance in a poly environment will be a fascinating exercise for lawyers.

[sashafarce]

Although sorting out custody, taxation, and inheritance in a poly environment will be a fascinating exercise for lawyers.

My girlfriend (an attorney) and I have had this conversation a ton, and while we are both clearly on the side of "whatever floats your boat of adult consent," it's puzzling if not downright impossible by current legal standards to figure out how these things would work if poly relationships were given legal status.

Obviously not against it, but it is complicated as fuck.

[silver_sandals]

as a poly lesbian, when people say polyamory is oppression of women i have to laugh. and then cry.

[sparkindarkness]

Oh yeah, straight, cis poly people also jumping under the umbrella

If someone is poly and GBLTQ then great they are part of the umbrella - as GBLTQ people. But straight, cis poly people invoking this:

"LGBTQ progressives end up throwing another sexual minority"Can get out right now. I am so damn sick of straight, cis people appopriating the GBLTQ movement and beyond sick of straight, cis people desperate to include themselves under the GBLT umbrella

[silver_sandals]

Neither me nor the article writer are straight.

[sparkindarkness]

And? the writer is still presenting straight, cis poly people as a "sexual minority" here and is telling GBLT people what their response should be when faced with homophobia - to fight back against anti polyamory and cover what she seems to consider a lesser issue as an aside.

[silver_sandals]

Um. I'm pretty sure the author is just asking for gay people to stop saying "but we're not like those people." That's how I read it, anyway.