My experience with a prostitute -- not the kind you're thinking of

[popehippo]

Sometimes, feminist perspectives can be acquired at some of the most unlikely places and in some of the most unlikely situations. For me, a rich perspective on the sex work industry was acquired at a casino in Atlantic City a few days ago, with an escort with whom I spoke regarding her life, choices and challenges

Comments

[iisz]

Yeah, me too. I'd like it so that women get the supports that they need to make whatever choice they want, and I dislike prostitution for a pimp or to support a drug habit (it's not a choice then) but I feel fine about prostiutes and don't think ill of them at all.

[iisz]

Exactly.

[chaeri]

true. but, more sad when people never, ever have this revelation.

[popehippo]

I think it's pretty common of people to think of sex workers as A) abused women who are too weak to stand up for themselves and are stuck in the cycle, or B) women who are purposely taking advantage of the system for drugs/sex/money for the sake of money/etc and just don't give a damn. That's the cultural perception, and it seemed to me that he didn't believe either of those, but was still surprised and unprepared to actually meet with one who wasn't.

[iisz]

Op, while I'm glad you've had this epiphany, thinking prostitutes are human is not a new concept for many of us. Feminism doesn't blame prostitutes for the patriarchy.

[carminaburana]

I appreciate the intentions behind his article, but he isn't saying anything new or starting a dialogue that hasn't already been initiated. He should do more research on the issue. There are actually quite a few blogs out there by sex workers that explore these issues in depth. There are also organizations devoted to sex workers' rights.

[carminaburana]

I will say though that i'm glad to see that he identifies as a male feminist.

[thelilyqueen]

This was posted to other venues, I believe - I think the writer said in comments he originally wrote it for Facebook - so a significant portion of the been there, done that feel of it may well be that he was writing for an audience that isn't (generally) as informed on the subject.

It's also a personal experience that got him thinking in a less abstract way, and challenged some lingering biases. I've had similar reactions when I've seen racist or classist behavior in real life (I'm middle-class and white, so privileged in those areas) and thought 'Good lord... I'd want to smack someone if I was treated that way! How is this still happening?' rather than dealing with it on a more intellectual, and kind of bloodless, level.

[ruinedromantic]

I am always so conflicted when it comes to sex workers

[pahraydolliah]

While I can really sympathise, I see that you're really very biased. No where does this woman say she has a distorted body image. In fact, she specifically says that this was a last resort for her. I'm not saying this is the case for every woman, but that is a big generalisation and I'd imagine it's a last resort for quite a number of women as well. Just because you don't see it as an option, doesn't mean someone else won't in desperate times.

As much as I can sympathise with you for what your ex did to you, it's really not the sex workers fault that there are weak willed men (and women). Because if it wasn't a sex worker he were fucking, it'd be someone else, paid or not. I know you're really conflicted, you even say it wasn't the sex workers fault he strayed, but that kind of thinking that they provide an 'outlet' is really close to blaming the sex workers for people's weak willed-ness.

[ruinedromantic]

blah i dont want to be biased. I dont think its necessarily a distorted body image, I just DO NOT UNDERSTAND 'last resort'. Why? Because I spent so much time working in non-profits with homeless people, with prostitutes, and I saw people who refused to take advantage of the systems in place because of their own hangups. When talking to a woman who had a son, who was prostituting and in a halfway house because her pimp beat the shit out of her. She refused to go to the secretary position I had lined up for her. Because she made more money prostituting. Thats not a last resort. This was 3 years ago, so the current economy is a little different

[pahraydolliah]

I completely understand the body not being for sale- I don't think I could ever resort to prostituition. However, who am I to say that a woman who has a crying hungry child, who cannot pay the bills, who has no education, should not have that option if she felt that her need was desperate enough?

It's really cool that you worked in that line of work, but who's to say she has those kinds of resources or that she is even aware of it. It doesn't mean that everyone who prostitutes is actually doing it for a truly noble cause, because, lets face it, having sex for money can be relatively easier for some people compared to having a day job. I don't think, either, that it means you have completely lost respect for yourself and your body. It is true for many women, yes, but I just don't feel that they are mutually exclusive. You can still respect yourself and your body, like this woman, by deciding that you aren't going to have sex just because it's easy money, but because of x reason and, once, if ever, you get in a better place, you'll