BUT TODAY WHEN I WAS MOWING MY LAWN I THOUGHT I SAW MY NEIGHBOR WITH A PIG ON A LEASH SNIFFING TRUFFLES OR SOMETHING (IDK WHAT PIGS DO). SO I SWERVED AND RAN OVER A FROG BECAUSE OF THIS AWESOME PIG ON A LEASH.
IT TURNED OUT TO JUST BE A BLACK POMERANIAN-Y WHO WAS OLD AND SICK AND FAT AND COULDN'T WALK VERY WELL.
I FELT STUPID. AND I HAD FROG GUTS ON MY LEGS. STUPID PIG ON A LEASH.
OR MAYBE I'LL JUST PHOTOSHOP GOKEY'S FACE ON A DOG
IT'S THE SAME THING
BUT I WILL STAND AT THE WINDOW FOR THE NEXT WEEK AND THE NEXT TIME THAT DOG COMES OUT, I AM GETTING A PICTURE AND YOU WILL HAVE FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT IT AND BE LIKE "WTF IS THIS? WHY IS PARTY_BENCH SENDING ME A PHOTO OF A PIGDOG?".
NEITHER CAN I AND THE IMAGE IS BURNED INTO MY BRAIN
BUT I NEED YOU ALL TO UNDERSTAND HOW PIGGISH THIS DOG WAS
THIS WASN'T LIKE REGULAR DOG-PIG ANALOGIES. OH NO. THIS WAS FREAKISH DODDERING SNUFFLING DOG THAT LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE A PIG. A SMALL FLUFFY PIG ON CLOSER INSPECTION, BUT A PIG. IF YOU HAD COME TO MY HOUSE AT AROUND 7:40 YOU WOULD'VE LOOKED AT MY STREET AND GONE "WTH IS A PIG DOING OUT THERE? ON A LEASH?". THAT IS HOW EPICALLY PIGGISH THIS DOG WAS.
I REALLY HOPE BLLLOLLLLLLU IS ITS NAME. I THINK I WOULD DIE.
NEXT TIME I SEE IT ON THE STREET, I AM A) GETTING A PICTURE OF BOTH THE PIGDOG AND ME WITH THE PIGDOG, B) A VIDEO OF ME SAYING "HERE PIGGY", AND C) THE NEIGHBOR'S REACTION TO MY INSANITY.
OR MAYBE JUST A PICTURE. BUT SRSLY. I NEED TO DO THIS. I DIDN'T REALIZE THIS STORY WOULD WARRANT SUCH COMMENTING.
NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE A PICTURE AND YOU'RE GOING TO THINK IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE A DOG.
OOH! THERE'S MORE! WHICH IS NOT SO MUCH FUN BUT STILL. I FELT BAD ABOUT KILLING THE FROG SO I WENT TO PLAY ON OUR SWINGSET WHICH IS OLD SO I WENT ON THE RINGS BECAUSE I LOVED THEM WHEN I WAS 8.
TURNS OUT I WEIGH MORE THAN MY 8 YEAR OLD SELF AND THE RUST COULDN'T HOLD IT UP. SO I FELT FAT AND UNATHLETIC AND FROG GUTTY AND PIGDOG AWARENESS FAILY AND WENT IN AND ATE SOME ICE CREAM.
I CAN GET YOU A PICTURE OF THAT, BUT IT'S NOT ANY FUN.
BUT TODAY WHEN I WAS MOWING MY LAWN I THOUGHT I SAW MY NEIGHBOR WITH A PIG ON A LEASH SNIFFING TRUFFLES OR SOMETHING (IDK WHAT PIGS DO). SO I SWERVED AND RAN OVER A FROG BECAUSE OF THIS AWESOME PIG ON A LEASH.
IT TURNED OUT TO JUST BE A BLACK POMERANIAN-Y WHO WAS OLD AND SICK AND FAT AND COULDN'T WALK VERY WELL.
I FELT STUPID. AND I HAD FROG GUTS ON MY LEGS. STUPID PIG ON A LEASH.
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BUT I HATE MY NEIGHBORS AND DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE IT IS
THIS IS ALL I CAN GIVE YOU FOR NOW:
( ... )
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AHAHA OH GOOD LORD, THAT PICTURE
LMAO
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IT'S THE SAME THING
BUT I WILL STAND AT THE WINDOW FOR THE NEXT WEEK AND THE NEXT TIME THAT DOG COMES OUT, I AM GETTING A PICTURE AND YOU WILL HAVE FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT IT AND BE LIKE "WTF IS THIS? WHY IS PARTY_BENCH SENDING ME A PHOTO OF A PIGDOG?".
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HAHAHAH THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY I COULD FORGET ABOUT A POMERANIAN PIG DOG
NO WAY
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BUT I NEED YOU ALL TO UNDERSTAND HOW PIGGISH THIS DOG WAS
THIS WASN'T LIKE REGULAR DOG-PIG ANALOGIES. OH NO. THIS WAS FREAKISH DODDERING SNUFFLING DOG THAT LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE A PIG. A SMALL FLUFFY PIG ON CLOSER INSPECTION, BUT A PIG. IF YOU HAD COME TO MY HOUSE AT AROUND 7:40 YOU WOULD'VE LOOKED AT MY STREET AND GONE "WTH IS A PIG DOING OUT THERE? ON A LEASH?". THAT IS HOW EPICALLY PIGGISH THIS DOG WAS.
AND NOW I NEED TO FIND OUT ITS NAME.
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YOU NEED TO REFUSE TO ADMIT THAT IT WAS A DOG. LIKE, ASK YOUR NEIGHBORS ABOUT THEIR PET PIG AND CALL HIM SAYING "HERE, PIGGY"
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NEXT TIME I SEE IT ON THE STREET, I AM A) GETTING A PICTURE OF BOTH THE PIGDOG AND ME WITH THE PIGDOG, B) A VIDEO OF ME SAYING "HERE PIGGY", AND C) THE NEIGHBOR'S REACTION TO MY INSANITY.
OR MAYBE JUST A PICTURE. BUT SRSLY. I NEED TO DO THIS. I DIDN'T REALIZE THIS STORY WOULD WARRANT SUCH COMMENTING.
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NO REASON AT ALL.
AND YET...
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IT MAY BE THE FACT THE PIG TURNED OUT TO BE A DOG, BUT THERE ARE JUST SO MANY FUNNY PARTS TO THE STORY
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OOH! THERE'S MORE! WHICH IS NOT SO MUCH FUN BUT STILL. I FELT BAD ABOUT KILLING THE FROG SO I WENT TO PLAY ON OUR SWINGSET WHICH IS OLD SO I WENT ON THE RINGS BECAUSE I LOVED THEM WHEN I WAS 8.
TURNS OUT I WEIGH MORE THAN MY 8 YEAR OLD SELF AND THE RUST COULDN'T HOLD IT UP. SO I FELT FAT AND UNATHLETIC AND FROG GUTTY AND PIGDOG AWARENESS FAILY AND WENT IN AND ATE SOME ICE CREAM.
I CAN GET YOU A PICTURE OF THAT, BUT IT'S NOT ANY FUN.
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IT'S LATE. :/
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YOU HAVE HAD QUITE THE INTERESTING DAY, MY FRIEND LOL
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THIS WAS A SUPER DAY. IT SHOULD HAPPEN MORE OFTEN. I WISH MY LIFE WERE ALWAYS THIS HILARIOUS.
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I AGREE, THIS... THIS IS JUST SOMETHING ELSE AND I THOROUGHLY ENJOYED THIS STORY.
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