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Jul 05, 2004 09:51

I hastily put on ( Read more... )

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Comments 6

Wedding? zanthia494 July 5 2004, 08:56:56 UTC
The first stanza had me imagining a wedding.

I love the rhyme scheme, I love the rhythems; It flows so nicely.

I love the reoccurring image of the dress. I like how it seems like the dress is a character.

Lovely poem, although sad and creepy. I hope that's one dream that doesn't come true.

PS: Poems about dreams rock. I think I shall post a poem about a dream sometime.

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Re: Wedding? justwonder July 7 2004, 05:59:22 UTC
LOL, thanks. I hope it doesn't come true too. >_

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were1 July 5 2004, 21:21:24 UTC
When I read through this poem, I instantly thought of a wedding for the obvious reasons. I envisioned an anterage of women all giddy with anticipation as they prepare for the wedding, the bride to be pretending to be exstatic... and then she's left alone to add the finishing touches on herself before walking down the isle. Then her depression reveals itself and she begins cutting to escape her fiancee (the one in the "black of night" tux). I assumed that the husband had at some point cheated on her and she later forgave him. Then right before she dies, she realizes that she never did truely forgive him and never truely wanted to get back together with him.

So, this one obviously created a rather elaborate story in my mind as I read through it which was very appreciated. This style of poetry seems to fit you well as you have used it multiple times before. Short, quick, rythmatic chants. I don't have any "constructive critisism" to offer you on this one, sorry :/

Overall, I'd say it's about a 7.75 . Really good poem, but I think my ( ... )

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justwonder July 7 2004, 06:00:10 UTC
Really good poem, but I think my favorite piece of yours will always be the ring one :p

And that will always be my problem XD.

I'm still flattered about how much you like the Ring one, though. ^__^

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dirty_keyboard July 6 2004, 06:16:48 UTC
Uh. Your icon is scary. So are your poems. Muahahaha.

Okay, at first I thought it was something like at the prom in the movie Carrie, although her dress wasn't white. Then I thought of Samara...just because. Then I thought of some arranged marriage where the girl didn't have a choice and had to marry some guy she didn't love so she kills herself and stains her white dress.

And hey, you said it's a gorgeous white dress, but you described it as a "little white dress" in your poem! ;P

As always, great rhyme!

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justwonder July 7 2004, 06:01:15 UTC
Uh. Your icon is scary. So are your poems. Muahahaha.

LMAO, I think that's the best compliment I've ever recieved. But Samara is so sexy :P and I like creepy poems. Little anthems about love bore me. So I choose creepy. =D

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