(no subject)
Title:How to View the World
Author: onlyeuphonious.
Pairing: Ville/Bam
Rating: PG-13 for language (this chapter) Overall: NC-17
Summary: It's an unspoken agreement that Ville Valo is not someone you look at, speak to, or even think of. (AU)
Disclaimer: None of this is real. Everything is a work of fiction...
Warnings: None so far.
A/N: So, I really wanted to make this chapter a lot longer. And it is, by about 200words. But anyway, i went back and rewrote the whole chapter. And I'm rather pleased with the way it turned out. I was going to make it longer, but i liked ending it where i did. Enjoy.
Prologue: The House on Ivory Road
Chapter One: Dark Nights, Vengeful Winds, and Other Oddities
Chapter Two: Stars, Cigarettes and Cemetery Gates
Chapter Three
Angels, Sorrows, and Things I Want to Ask
They sat like that, leaning against the cemetery gate for a while in silence. Neither said anything, Bam didn’t feel like it was the right time, and it was sort of peaceful. Or at the very least as peaceful as it could get when you are sitting by a whole bunch of dead bodies only so far away from you at strange hours in the night. He just watched Ville, in what he assumed wasn’t a creepy way, but more of a I’m completely fascinated by how strange you are kind of way. It sounded absolutely ridiculous, even to him, but while he sat there he wasn’t too sure if he was amused or a little frightened at how content Ville looked near a cemetery. He diminished the thought, finding it kind of hypocritical.
Honestly, he didn’t know how to describe Ville. He didn’t look fearsome, and he didn’t look like he could hurt anyone. But he had a certain presence to him that made people avoid him. And that was just it, because here he was, head thrown back against the gate, cigarette hanging loosely in between his lips in an elegant manner but on anyone else would have looked silly, and eyes closed. When looking at him like this, he looked angelic and definitely not someone to fear.
For the nth time in the past two days, Bam was extremely confused about the other man. He had been really insistent on getting him away from his house, and yet now he wasn’t bothering to push Bam away or send him home, and he had no idea why. Bam sighed and wrapped his arms around his knees as Ville exhaled a puff of smoke. He rested his head on top of his knees so he could look at the other.
“Can I ask you a question?” he asked, breaking the silence.
Ville opened his eyes, and removed the cigarette from his lips. He kept looking up at the night sky. Bam tried to decipher the expression on his face, but it was hard to do so with Ville. He finally spoke up, “I don’t guarantee an answer.”
“How’d you know my name?” he asked, it was something that he had been curious about since Ville left him the note in the hospital. He sat up in a different position and traced his finger along the stitches running up his forearm, thinking about that night.
“People in town speak of you,” he said, Bam felt that wasn’t quite it, but he decided it was best not to push it. Instead the response made him focus on something else, Ville’s accent, which was a peculiar thing itself if the house was passed down through his family.
“Huh. Okay, where are you from?”
“It’s said that my father gave me the house, is it not?” Ville kept his head up, wrinkling his nose, staring at the moon, as if he were trying to remember something.
“Yeah. What about your accent though?” Bam had decided to test his luck.
Ville didn’t answer, avoiding it completely. Bam was sure that he could have thought of a believable lie to tell him, at the very least, so why didn’t he? Silence engulfed them again, the only noise heard was the clicking of Ville’s lighter, as he lit yet another cigarette.
Bam stared up at the sky, trying to see whatever Ville was always looking at. But to him it was just the stars and the moon, shining faintly while a few clouds passed over them. Bam leaned back against the gate and started drifting off to sleep, his head dropped down onto Ville’s shoulder without him realizing what he was doing, but he didn’t get pushed away so he figured it didn’t matter. His last thought before he drifts off to sleep is about how he has school in the morning and shouldn’t be following around the town freak this late, or ever as most people would argue.
Bam was not too sure of how long he had been asleep when he is woken up by Ville snapping forward, somewhat violently, waking him up from the sudden movement. He had a panicked look on his face, and it’s more expression than Bam’s ever seen him show. Ville looks at him as though he’s having some sort of inner conflict. He closed his eyes seemingly collecting himself, and with his eyes still closed asks Bam “What time is it?”
Bam stared for a moment before taking out his cellphone. He noticed that he had a few missed calls from his mother. She doesn’t notice if he’s missing most nights, and Bam mentally cursed for it being this night if any. He made a decision to deal with it later, and answered, “It’s almost 2:30.”
Ville opened his eyes and just looked at him. He nodded to himself slowly, Bam found it odd to watch, because even though he’d done the action often when he was accepting something, it was strange to see it when it was someone else.
“Okay,” Ville began, voice steady, back into monotone, and then “shitshitshit!” he whispered, almost like a chant, angrily, frustrated, slightly losing it, Bam wasn’t too sure. “Listen, I
need you to leave. Please don’t question it just go!” his voice rose a little at the end of it.
Bam noticed that Ville didn’t speak with his body like some people did; putting action to their every word. However if Ville hadn’t been speaking, Bam would have been under the impression that there was nothing happening. Bam was completely and utterly stumped. Calm, collected, and elegant Ville Valo was panicking. He was showing emotion, and his voice wasn’t staying in the same monotone, both of which Bam was sure Viile was incapable of until that moment. And all he did was stare at Ville dumbly, partially from not being completely awake, and partially from being completely baffled again. He can only wonder what could happen to make Ville really act like a human being when something goes wrong.
“What-“
“I said don’t question it!” Ville cut him off quickly, almost yelling. “Just leave Bam. Please, I’ll explain it some other time. I just need you to get away.” Bam nodded slowly and then ran from Ville.
He’s not too sure why he ran. But he had never seen the man like that before, and he had made it seem that the faster Bam got away the better. So he ran and ran and didn’t bother looking back. And when he couldn’t run anymore, and slowed into a steady walk home, he realized that Ville had said that he’d explain thing “some other time.” The thought made him grin. He was bitter that he didn’t get any answers and had more questions now than ever, although.
***
He slept through most of his morning classes. Yes, it was his own fault, but he didn’t care and took it on everyone else anyway. While he wasn’t sleeping he spent the time debating on whether or not he should go see Ville. For one thing, Ville didn’t seem to like him around his house too much, and the chance that he would actually be home was very slim. So when his friends asked him to go skating, he agreed. He figured that it would be more likely to see Ville walking around the town than at his house.
Bam doesn’t know if it’s luck or just coincidence that Ville passes by the skate park while he’s there, but he doesn’t really give himself much time to question it. He wanted to go after him, but he looked back at his friends and decided it wouldn’t be the best idea. So he went back and skated, and when he stopped, there was Ville, arms folded on the short, crappy metal gate that surrounded the park. Smirking, looking more confident then usual. And when he noticed Bam looking at him, he smirk turned into something that could have almost resembled a smile, maybe.
Bam could hear the people around him talking. The other kids that were there talking.
“Is that Ville Valo?”
“What’s he doing here?”
“Look, the creep is here.”
“You think we should hide from him?”
"Maybe that's a good idea. I don't want him to eat me." Ville being a cannibal is the lastest story.
Bam didn’t know why, but he could feel himself getting angry. It wasn't like he wouldn’t have done the same, said the same, if it had only been a week ago. Hell, a week ago he probably wouldn’t have remembered who Ville was anyway.
Some kid that Bam had only met recently came up to him. The guys seemed to have accepted him quickly, but Bam can’t remember his name. He didn’t really care to.
“He’s staring at you, dude.” He says.
“Yeah.”
“Why though?”
“No idea.”
“Huh. Be careful, man, you know the shit people say about him.” And with that he walked away from Bam.
Bam grit his teeth. He knew what people said. He had seemed to have heard it a couple million times in the past few days alone. Or maybe it was just him, repeating the stories every time he got freaked out by Ville. Either way Bam’s glad that he didn’t remember the kid’s name.
When he looked at Ville again, the other man wasn't looking at him anymore. Instead his eyes were going all around the skate park. Observing one person and then moving onto another. It’s like watching him watch the night sky, but Ville looks more tired, less interested, less angry. How Bam knew any of that, he wasn’t quite sure since Ville’s face seemed to be stuck in place most of the time. But he just knew, and he was so damn curious.
Ville finished up his current cigarette, dropped it in the skate park, and walked away, in what Bam could only consider a diva-ish manner. No matter how much Bam wanted to follow him, he didn’t. Instead he went back and skated for a while, thinking it best to clear his mind, if only for a little while.
***
Bam knew there was a reason he had not been looking forward to going home. Unfortunately he couldn’t remember it until he actually got home. He had left for school early enough that he didn’t have to deal with the rest of his family, but of course it was terrible to put things off.
“Bam! Where were you last night? I called four times!” April yelled at him.
Bam tried to think of something, he really did. But his mind was going completely blank on him. He failed to even think of the most generic lie and tell her that he was just at a friend’s house. Because really, how hard was it to think that up, but no, instead Bam opened his mouth and the words, “I was at the cemetery,” were out before he knew it.
April drew her eyebrows in. Looking at him strangely, trying to figure out what he could have been doing at the cemetery. Bam felt like he was being analyzed, and he knew he probably was. He tried to figure out why he told her that, why he thought it was okay to tell her that. But he can’t even remember saying it, even though it was a few seconds ago. So he settled on the fact that his mouth was a traitor.
“The cemetery?” she repeated.
“Uhm…yeah.” He said, for a moment he thought that this were his chance to get out of it, but he knew that if he denied now, it would only seem to much more suspicious, and that’s exactly what he didn’t want.
“What for? For Christ’s sake, Bam, please don’t tell me you’ve gone and become a grave robber.” At the very least it was nice to know that his mother had such high expectations of him.
“No, I just went for a walk and ended up by the cemetery. It’s was calming.” He said, and it wasn’t a lie. It really wasn’t, because hell, he did walk, by following Ville around, and it was calming. However he decided to leave Ville out of the entire thing while talking to her.
She sighed and walked away from him. Bam almost felt guilty at times like these, but it quickly passed. He wanted to know why Ville pushed him away the night before. He wanted to know what Ville was hiding, what’s there that he can’t have Bam see? Why was it that urgent? They’re the thoughts that have been going through Bam’s mind like a broken record.
He wanted to go out that night again, see if he could find Ville. But there’s something that held him back, so he promised himself that he would go the next night. But he doesn’t, nor does he go the night after that, or the night after that. He tried to figure out why not. It was his choice to find out the mystery, wasn’t it? So what was there that was holding him back? And while Bam was thinking about it, he realized that he hadn’t seen Ville around for three days. Not walking around town or anything, he’d usually think nothing of it, but it comes off strange to him. He considered rushing down to Ivory Road to check, but he didn’t. Instead he rolled over in bed and fell asleep, thoughts of Ville aside.
Sometimes he wondered why he could no longer see Ville as a monster the way others did. He wondered if he ever saw him like that. He had known Ville for a few days, had only spoken to him a handful of times. And by no means did he feel comfortable in his presence, yet he couldn’t consider him as anything horrible, no matter how much Ville creeped him out. And whenever he thought of Ville, the image came up of him leaning against that cemetery gate, looking up at the night sky. And Bam could finally describe the look on his face. Sorrow.
Author: onlyeuphonious.
Pairing: Ville/Bam
Rating: PG-13 for language (this chapter) Overall: NC-17
Summary: It's an unspoken agreement that Ville Valo is not someone you look at, speak to, or even think of. (AU)
Disclaimer: None of this is real. Everything is a work of fiction...
Warnings: None so far.
A/N: So, I really wanted to make this chapter a lot longer. And it is, by about 200words. But anyway, i went back and rewrote the whole chapter. And I'm rather pleased with the way it turned out. I was going to make it longer, but i liked ending it where i did. Enjoy.
Prologue: The House on Ivory Road
Chapter One: Dark Nights, Vengeful Winds, and Other Oddities
Chapter Two: Stars, Cigarettes and Cemetery Gates
Chapter Three
Angels, Sorrows, and Things I Want to Ask
They sat like that, leaning against the cemetery gate for a while in silence. Neither said anything, Bam didn’t feel like it was the right time, and it was sort of peaceful. Or at the very least as peaceful as it could get when you are sitting by a whole bunch of dead bodies only so far away from you at strange hours in the night. He just watched Ville, in what he assumed wasn’t a creepy way, but more of a I’m completely fascinated by how strange you are kind of way. It sounded absolutely ridiculous, even to him, but while he sat there he wasn’t too sure if he was amused or a little frightened at how content Ville looked near a cemetery. He diminished the thought, finding it kind of hypocritical.
Honestly, he didn’t know how to describe Ville. He didn’t look fearsome, and he didn’t look like he could hurt anyone. But he had a certain presence to him that made people avoid him. And that was just it, because here he was, head thrown back against the gate, cigarette hanging loosely in between his lips in an elegant manner but on anyone else would have looked silly, and eyes closed. When looking at him like this, he looked angelic and definitely not someone to fear.
For the nth time in the past two days, Bam was extremely confused about the other man. He had been really insistent on getting him away from his house, and yet now he wasn’t bothering to push Bam away or send him home, and he had no idea why. Bam sighed and wrapped his arms around his knees as Ville exhaled a puff of smoke. He rested his head on top of his knees so he could look at the other.
“Can I ask you a question?” he asked, breaking the silence.
Ville opened his eyes, and removed the cigarette from his lips. He kept looking up at the night sky. Bam tried to decipher the expression on his face, but it was hard to do so with Ville. He finally spoke up, “I don’t guarantee an answer.”
“How’d you know my name?” he asked, it was something that he had been curious about since Ville left him the note in the hospital. He sat up in a different position and traced his finger along the stitches running up his forearm, thinking about that night.
“People in town speak of you,” he said, Bam felt that wasn’t quite it, but he decided it was best not to push it. Instead the response made him focus on something else, Ville’s accent, which was a peculiar thing itself if the house was passed down through his family.
“Huh. Okay, where are you from?”
“It’s said that my father gave me the house, is it not?” Ville kept his head up, wrinkling his nose, staring at the moon, as if he were trying to remember something.
“Yeah. What about your accent though?” Bam had decided to test his luck.
Ville didn’t answer, avoiding it completely. Bam was sure that he could have thought of a believable lie to tell him, at the very least, so why didn’t he? Silence engulfed them again, the only noise heard was the clicking of Ville’s lighter, as he lit yet another cigarette.
Bam stared up at the sky, trying to see whatever Ville was always looking at. But to him it was just the stars and the moon, shining faintly while a few clouds passed over them. Bam leaned back against the gate and started drifting off to sleep, his head dropped down onto Ville’s shoulder without him realizing what he was doing, but he didn’t get pushed away so he figured it didn’t matter. His last thought before he drifts off to sleep is about how he has school in the morning and shouldn’t be following around the town freak this late, or ever as most people would argue.
Bam was not too sure of how long he had been asleep when he is woken up by Ville snapping forward, somewhat violently, waking him up from the sudden movement. He had a panicked look on his face, and it’s more expression than Bam’s ever seen him show. Ville looks at him as though he’s having some sort of inner conflict. He closed his eyes seemingly collecting himself, and with his eyes still closed asks Bam “What time is it?”
Bam stared for a moment before taking out his cellphone. He noticed that he had a few missed calls from his mother. She doesn’t notice if he’s missing most nights, and Bam mentally cursed for it being this night if any. He made a decision to deal with it later, and answered, “It’s almost 2:30.”
Ville opened his eyes and just looked at him. He nodded to himself slowly, Bam found it odd to watch, because even though he’d done the action often when he was accepting something, it was strange to see it when it was someone else.
“Okay,” Ville began, voice steady, back into monotone, and then “shitshitshit!” he whispered, almost like a chant, angrily, frustrated, slightly losing it, Bam wasn’t too sure. “Listen, I
need you to leave. Please don’t question it just go!” his voice rose a little at the end of it.
Bam noticed that Ville didn’t speak with his body like some people did; putting action to their every word. However if Ville hadn’t been speaking, Bam would have been under the impression that there was nothing happening. Bam was completely and utterly stumped. Calm, collected, and elegant Ville Valo was panicking. He was showing emotion, and his voice wasn’t staying in the same monotone, both of which Bam was sure Viile was incapable of until that moment. And all he did was stare at Ville dumbly, partially from not being completely awake, and partially from being completely baffled again. He can only wonder what could happen to make Ville really act like a human being when something goes wrong.
“What-“
“I said don’t question it!” Ville cut him off quickly, almost yelling. “Just leave Bam. Please, I’ll explain it some other time. I just need you to get away.” Bam nodded slowly and then ran from Ville.
He’s not too sure why he ran. But he had never seen the man like that before, and he had made it seem that the faster Bam got away the better. So he ran and ran and didn’t bother looking back. And when he couldn’t run anymore, and slowed into a steady walk home, he realized that Ville had said that he’d explain thing “some other time.” The thought made him grin. He was bitter that he didn’t get any answers and had more questions now than ever, although.
***
He slept through most of his morning classes. Yes, it was his own fault, but he didn’t care and took it on everyone else anyway. While he wasn’t sleeping he spent the time debating on whether or not he should go see Ville. For one thing, Ville didn’t seem to like him around his house too much, and the chance that he would actually be home was very slim. So when his friends asked him to go skating, he agreed. He figured that it would be more likely to see Ville walking around the town than at his house.
Bam doesn’t know if it’s luck or just coincidence that Ville passes by the skate park while he’s there, but he doesn’t really give himself much time to question it. He wanted to go after him, but he looked back at his friends and decided it wouldn’t be the best idea. So he went back and skated, and when he stopped, there was Ville, arms folded on the short, crappy metal gate that surrounded the park. Smirking, looking more confident then usual. And when he noticed Bam looking at him, he smirk turned into something that could have almost resembled a smile, maybe.
Bam could hear the people around him talking. The other kids that were there talking.
“Is that Ville Valo?”
“What’s he doing here?”
“Look, the creep is here.”
“You think we should hide from him?”
"Maybe that's a good idea. I don't want him to eat me." Ville being a cannibal is the lastest story.
Bam didn’t know why, but he could feel himself getting angry. It wasn't like he wouldn’t have done the same, said the same, if it had only been a week ago. Hell, a week ago he probably wouldn’t have remembered who Ville was anyway.
Some kid that Bam had only met recently came up to him. The guys seemed to have accepted him quickly, but Bam can’t remember his name. He didn’t really care to.
“He’s staring at you, dude.” He says.
“Yeah.”
“Why though?”
“No idea.”
“Huh. Be careful, man, you know the shit people say about him.” And with that he walked away from Bam.
Bam grit his teeth. He knew what people said. He had seemed to have heard it a couple million times in the past few days alone. Or maybe it was just him, repeating the stories every time he got freaked out by Ville. Either way Bam’s glad that he didn’t remember the kid’s name.
When he looked at Ville again, the other man wasn't looking at him anymore. Instead his eyes were going all around the skate park. Observing one person and then moving onto another. It’s like watching him watch the night sky, but Ville looks more tired, less interested, less angry. How Bam knew any of that, he wasn’t quite sure since Ville’s face seemed to be stuck in place most of the time. But he just knew, and he was so damn curious.
Ville finished up his current cigarette, dropped it in the skate park, and walked away, in what Bam could only consider a diva-ish manner. No matter how much Bam wanted to follow him, he didn’t. Instead he went back and skated for a while, thinking it best to clear his mind, if only for a little while.
***
Bam knew there was a reason he had not been looking forward to going home. Unfortunately he couldn’t remember it until he actually got home. He had left for school early enough that he didn’t have to deal with the rest of his family, but of course it was terrible to put things off.
“Bam! Where were you last night? I called four times!” April yelled at him.
Bam tried to think of something, he really did. But his mind was going completely blank on him. He failed to even think of the most generic lie and tell her that he was just at a friend’s house. Because really, how hard was it to think that up, but no, instead Bam opened his mouth and the words, “I was at the cemetery,” were out before he knew it.
April drew her eyebrows in. Looking at him strangely, trying to figure out what he could have been doing at the cemetery. Bam felt like he was being analyzed, and he knew he probably was. He tried to figure out why he told her that, why he thought it was okay to tell her that. But he can’t even remember saying it, even though it was a few seconds ago. So he settled on the fact that his mouth was a traitor.
“The cemetery?” she repeated.
“Uhm…yeah.” He said, for a moment he thought that this were his chance to get out of it, but he knew that if he denied now, it would only seem to much more suspicious, and that’s exactly what he didn’t want.
“What for? For Christ’s sake, Bam, please don’t tell me you’ve gone and become a grave robber.” At the very least it was nice to know that his mother had such high expectations of him.
“No, I just went for a walk and ended up by the cemetery. It’s was calming.” He said, and it wasn’t a lie. It really wasn’t, because hell, he did walk, by following Ville around, and it was calming. However he decided to leave Ville out of the entire thing while talking to her.
She sighed and walked away from him. Bam almost felt guilty at times like these, but it quickly passed. He wanted to know why Ville pushed him away the night before. He wanted to know what Ville was hiding, what’s there that he can’t have Bam see? Why was it that urgent? They’re the thoughts that have been going through Bam’s mind like a broken record.
He wanted to go out that night again, see if he could find Ville. But there’s something that held him back, so he promised himself that he would go the next night. But he doesn’t, nor does he go the night after that, or the night after that. He tried to figure out why not. It was his choice to find out the mystery, wasn’t it? So what was there that was holding him back? And while Bam was thinking about it, he realized that he hadn’t seen Ville around for three days. Not walking around town or anything, he’d usually think nothing of it, but it comes off strange to him. He considered rushing down to Ivory Road to check, but he didn’t. Instead he rolled over in bed and fell asleep, thoughts of Ville aside.
Sometimes he wondered why he could no longer see Ville as a monster the way others did. He wondered if he ever saw him like that. He had known Ville for a few days, had only spoken to him a handful of times. And by no means did he feel comfortable in his presence, yet he couldn’t consider him as anything horrible, no matter how much Ville creeped him out. And whenever he thought of Ville, the image came up of him leaning against that cemetery gate, looking up at the night sky. And Bam could finally describe the look on his face. Sorrow.