Time for a change! I have not written about the past month or so... which is a major bummer, because you'd be surprised how much life has changed for me. Forget all of these negative writings... yeah read them if you want, don't take them to heart though... I am not the same person who wrote all the negative things in this journal. I ditched that ( Read more... )

I don't feel like myself. I want to be me... I want to be who I was back 11th grade. I want to do what I feel like doing and not what everyone else thinks I should do. I want to cut my hair again, short and spiky. That was fun. But people judge. If I go with how I'm feeling, then my hair will be short and my eyebrow will be pierced again. Is it an ( Read more... )

So tonight (Friday) I made no sense. See, I've been spreading my meds out to make what I have last longer b/c now I am out of them again. I have to call them in to the refill line and pick them up. But yeah, I kept saying "NO" to whatever or whoever all night long and just, well, talking to myself. In the stress of any given moment, some of my self ( Read more... )

these are my thoughts
they are my own
you cannot hear them
they stand alone
these are the things
that run my mind
you could not bear them
they grow with time
these are my masters
commanding me
you cannot fathom
their hold on me
these are my secrets
bringing me down
you do not know this
quit reading now

I had to drag myself out of bed around 10:30 this morning b/c something inside didn't want me to get up. I went downstairs and watched MTV for a while and then I made myself take a shower. Now I'm able to function at a reasonable level. I'm starting to think I am in a depression right now, b/c I haven't been taking my meds like I should and after a ( Read more... )

ugh... drank too much, but nothing bad happened. chilled at the house w/my friend. watched TV.... did i mention drank too much? it sucked, i don't recommend it.... ever.

Man it's like being gay or being a lesbian is some sort of cool trick these days.... or a game to some ppl. It fascinates people. What is so damn fascinating about just a different love than everyone is used to? Why are people that I know are straight trying to be otherwise? And why do people who I know are bi try to be completely straight? This is ( Read more... )

It is 12:15 a.m. and I just got home from Red Lobster... the semester ended on Thursday (Thank God)... and everyone keeps telling me to write something new in my journal so here, this is for all of you ( Read more... )

How much longer can I hold this stress on my shoulders. It sinks me further down every day. I can't breathe, sleep, or eat... damn I just can't even BE. This and that and that or this. I just wish it would go away. Two jobs, college, friend, and family... weighing down heavier. I'm going to break at any moment. I already had a punching session with ( Read more... )

"Please help me cause I'm breaking down, this picture's frozen and I can't get out ( Read more... )