Kingka Kiss! (8/9)
Fandom: Big Bang
Pairing: Baeri/ Baeji / Daeji
Rating: PG
Genre: Fluff/Romance
previous chapters: one, two, three, four, five , six & seven
Minji felt like running away when she saw Youngbae waiting for her to get out of school but instead she calmly tried to walk past him before feeling him grab her arm.
“We need to talk.”
“We don’t need to talk about anything.”
She side glanced towards a group of upper classmen walking by. Chaerin was holding her books in her arms tightly, giving her an evil eye that could make a criminal sweat.
“Minji…Youngbae…” She said, greeting them. Youngbae let go of his grip, smiling a pathetic attempt for a grin as a salutation.
“Have you two seen Seungri? He wasn’t in school today.”
“No,” they both answered lowly, avoiding eye contact with her.
“Really? That’s so strange,” Chaerin said looking from one to another, her eyes condemning them where they stood. “Well, I guess I see how it is, then.” She looked them up and down, her lips fixed together, her gaze squinted, her face judgmental before walking off, catching up with her classmates and calling out to them. “Jonghyun! If you go in my lunch box, I’ll kill you where you stand!” she yelled, picking up her pace until she found herself jogging after them.
Minji waited until most of the students had passed them by, a lot of them gawking at Youngbae, a star in their eyes as the former ruler of their school rankings. She avoided looking at him and felt nervous, her skin flushed, her fists curled up before gripping on the end of her jacket sleeves.
“I’m sorry,” Youngbae muttered, unable to face her either.
“I’ve felt the way I feel for so long. How could you do this to me?”
“I told you to date Daesung. I told you to find a better guy, that you’ll want to thank me later.”
“I told you what I wanted…” Minji turned to him.
He hated looking at her when she was on the verge of crying. She was so good at holding it in, and he knew on the inside there was a little girl in tears. He couldn’t do anything about the fact he was a liar, a betrayer. He’d spent the last few weeks hurting the two people he cared about most. Not to mention he wasn’t even talking to Jiyong. Right now, he really just needed her to understand how much he cared for her, how much he wanted to be around her when he was feeling like this, when he was so alone. He stepped closer to her.
“I know,” he said quietly, kissing her on the forehead before bringing his arms around her, grateful when she held him back.
“You can’t be with anyone else, can you?” she asked quietly.
“I thought I could,” he said leaning his head against hers, smelling her hair. “But I can’t…and I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes, dreading the sound of Minji crying into his jacket, her shoulders trembling. He especially could understand the words she spoke softly, mourning a love she never had.
“It hurts. It really hurts.”
************
Youngbae sat on the dock, his face red from the chill of a windy night. He stared over the dark water. He'd been off of work for an hour but he didn't feel like walking home. When he went home it always felt like he was on his way to Seungri's and it felt worse and worse each time he remembered going there was not an option. He raised his head to look at the clear sky, trying to shake off memories of stargazing with Seungri.
“I can’t find any of these damn stars.” Seungri slapped Youngbae’s telescope away before folding his arms, leaving it to spin a little as it balanced on its tripod.
“Calm down, I’ll help you.” Youngbae steadied the telescope with one hand.
“You’re doing this for a grade? That’s ridiculous.”
“No. I’m not doing this for a grade. I already know a lot about constellations,” Youngbae had said rolling up the sleeves of his thermal shirt.
“Oh,” Seungri replied, looking down at Youngbae’s open text book to see a couple diagrams he couldn’t really read, “Well, then can we go inside? It’s cold.”
“Just wait for it,” Youngbae peered through the telescope, stepping away before grabbing Seungri’s arm and guiding him to take his place. Seungri kept looking, his closed eye squeezing closed far harder than it had to be.
“Oh! A shooting star!” he exclaimed after a minute, jumping up and looking to the sky before shifting eagerly so that he could see better through the lens, despite the fact it was already gone. “Youngbae! It was a real shooting star.” He was going to explain that it wasn’t just a shooting star but he didn’t get a chance to before he felt Seungri pounce on him, planting a wet kiss on his lips. He regretted it now, not making a wish at that moment. Their kiss had been enough, the touch of each other’s bodies against each other, feeling the ripples and curves of their forms through their clothes before running their hands under each other’s shirts. It had been a waste. He wished they had wished for something, together. Maybe something that would’ve kept them together.
Youngbae suddenly became aware of the cold wind whipping on his face as he heard a deep voice speak, the two conspiring to pull Youngbae out of his memory with Seungri and into the present.
"Nice clothes."
Youngbae laughed at the irony. When he felt like things couldn't get worse, the person he disliked the most came along just to prove him wrong. He hadn't had a conversation with Seunghyun in a month and that was just to keep the peace for Seungri. They were more likely to be enemies than friends.
He sighed before self-consciously touching the strap of his overalls thinking about Seunghyun’s comment. Realizing he was swinging his feet off the dock like a child as Seunghyun sat down next to him, he shifted, resolving to be a bit cooler. "What do you want?" He asked, moving over to increase the space between himself and Seunghyun.
“I can’t just be here to enjoy the night air?” Seunghyun said, looking out over the water, a shy smile on his face. A small silence crept between the two of them. Youngbae refused to speak first, not wanting to encourage him to stay, clenching his jaw tightly.
"Stop messing with Seungri." Seunghyun said the words like a sigh after a while, causing Youngbae to turn and look at him, his brow furrowed.
"You really have room to talk," Youngbae scoffed, his laugh a silent puff of air.
"I just came by to say that if I had someone like him, I wouldn't take that for granted.” Seunghyun said the statement like he’d thought of it before he came, with practiced delivery. He shoved his hands in his pockets.
"But you did. You completely dumped everything you had because you didn't want to be the guy who liked guys." Youngbae rubbed his shoulder as he continued, sore from his work day, "In fact, the only way you could get the person you 'took for granted' was manipulating him and Seungri and hurting everyone in the process." He smiled smugly before he thought about whether he was right or not. The one thing Youngbae had retained from his relationship with Seungri was an ability to be verbose, to speak up. Seunghyun sighed in response.
"You know, even now, you're my best friend."
"Seunghyun."
Seunghyun smiled for a brief second, glad to hear one of Youngbae's signature warnings "For instance," he started, bracing himself against the cold, "If I see a hat you'd wear, I think of buying it for you. I wonder if you've seen previews I've seen for new superhero movies."
"Wow. I’m glad you care," Youngbae said sarcastically.
"You could say that," Seunghyun said ignoring his sarcasm,"Youngbae, when I see you messing up, I want to help you. You're my friend. I know you don't think you are but you are."
"I know you’re the stoic friend even after everything, but I really don't need you lecturing me on Seungri’s behalf. I get it. Not that I care, Seungri made his own mistakes." He wasn’t sure if his last sentence was true or false and that worried him immensely. The one thing he knew wasn’t true was that he didn’t care. He did care. It actually managed to be the only thing he cared about. He wished he didn’t care anymore so he could think about something other than Seungri, or Minji, or how much he had become the bad guy. More importantly, he wished Seungri had never rubbed off on him, changed him, made him so different that even he himself, reminded him of Seungri.
"You keep thinking I'm here for Seungri but I'm not," Seunghyun burrowed his face in the collar of his jacket, hiding from the wind. Youngbae didn't want to hear Seunghyun's lame honorable ex-friend act. The truth was, if Seunghyun could get away with hooking up with Seungri and hurting Jiyong a second time then he would, at least that's how Youngbae saw it. He looked the other way, staring at a fishery boat in the distance, refusing to answer.
"Fine. I'll leave." Seunghyun stood up after a couple silent minutes. "But me leaving isn't going to change the fact you need Seungri. You need him way more than he needs you. He'll cry and pine for you but then he'll get over it but you know how much he means to you, how hard it is for you to cry and move on from anything, and you know you'll never let yourself get over him, even if you wanted to. I can't change that. Your stupid thing with Minji can't change that, and you know it."
"I'll take your word for it," Youngbae said as Seunghyun took a cigarette out and lit it. Youngbae laughed.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He realized he wasn’t the only one that had been changed by a relationship. Maybe Seunghyun had caught his need to act like he cared from Jiyong. He felt like he was receiving a pep talk from his best friend instead of Seunghyun, who had been quiet and self-involved the whole time he was single, rarely acting like he cared if people lived or died. Now all of a sudden, he was some caring figure, reuniting couples and spouting wisdom. It was a little farfetched as far as Youngbae was concerned. It was more likely that Seunghyun had become some meddlesome idiot, something he’d grown to see Jiyong as, no matter how much he loved his best friend.
"Dong Youngbae, you're still as stubborn as ever but I still see through you. Probably because I'm still your friend." Seunghyun stood up, stretching his long limbs as he did so.
"See through what?" Youngbae snipped at him.
Seunghyun took a short drag before beginning to walk away, "How much did Seungri mean to you that you hurt her for him? You really think you can just get over him?” The question was rhetorical Youngbae assumed since Seunghyun walked away.
Good riddance, Youngbae thought to himself. He stared out into the dark even longer, the silence making him long for Seungri’s presence.
************
Minji looked in the mirror and took a deep breath before practicing a hundred ways to say hello like she felt okay. There was the silent nod of the head, a slow wave, a fast wave, a low and short greeting, or the longer overstating salutation. She checked her make up for smears and made sure her clothes were on just right, every seam lining up on all the right parts of her figure, which was still filling out, much to her relief. She went through her different smiles, a coy one or a big giant one, her white teeth showing. All in all, she had met her goal. She didn’t look heartbroken or downtrodden. That was the objective. After expelling another huge sigh, she picked her bag up from the counter and walked out of the bathroom, clutching it tightly.
I’ll make you like me, Daesung had said before.She laughed to herself. If he could do it, she’d owe him even more. The truth was, every time she felt discarded or hurt lately, he had come out of the blue, smiling, talking, and reminding her there were better things than standing around moping.
As she stood in the lobby of the movie theater, she waited for Daesung to come nervously, pulling at the hem of her skirt and smoothing her clothes out over and over again. He was late. Really late. Twenty minutes late. She didn’t know if he was even going to show up. He was supposed to have picked her up from home but had texted her from Jiyong’s phone to meet him there. She had a feeling Jiyong had sent the message, judging from the first text being “waddup” and the second text mentioning something about being eager to see her figure outside of her uniform. She checked her phone for another text or missed call. Nothing. She stared down at her feet as she shifted from standing on the sides of them to their bottoms nervously.
“Hey! I’m sorry I’m late!” Daesung said, panting. He was dressed nicely but his bowtie was tied askew so that it was crooked and wonky. She found herself smiling as he walked quickly to meet her, almost jogging, his hair slightly matted as if he had been running for a while.
“I’m so sorry, Minji. I really did set out to be here on time. Well, not really but I did try to be here. I went the wrong way and I don’t know. We missed the start of the movie. I’m sorry,” he anxiously rubbed his shoulder with his opposite hand. “I really-“
“It’s alright. We’ll just pick a different movie.” Minji said, amused by Daesung’s apologetic rambling. Something about him made her want to smile, no matter how bad she felt. She held her arm out, gesturing for him to lock his elbow with hers before leading him to the queue.
“We don’t have to see the scary one. You probably won’t want to see that one,” Daesung said, speaking about the next showing movie.
“No! That’s fine. I actually wanted to see it,” Minji said smiling. She expected Daesung’s reaction to be a bit more enthusiastic then it was. He let out a meek agreement before frowning slightly. “Do you want to see it? We can see something else.”
“No. You want to see it. We’ll see it,” Daesung said, his initial frown vanishing as he smiled brightly, turning to the usher and ordering their tickets. They didn’t say much after that, both agreeing to share a large coke before finding their seats in the theater. When the movie started, Daesung absentmindedly reached for her hand, his palm clammy and his grip tight. As he gasped at the first character’s death, Minji looked over, trying to hide her laugh as he anxiously stared at the screen. By the middle of the movie he had shifted over so that he could hide his eyes by leaning on her shoulder when the movie got too intense and their hands hadn’t separated once by the time the movie was over, Daesung grasping at it more intensely at every little jump or scare the movie gave him. He looked down and laughed nervously as he realized he’d gripped on to her hand the whole time. He was about to pull it away and apologize when Minji got up without separating their hands, leading him out of their aisle.
“Did you like the movie?” Daesung asked, neither one of them looking at each other while they walked home, their hands separating after a hundred and twenty three minutes, Daesung observed in his mind, mentally taking note of his own small victory.
“It was okay but… it wasn’t very scary,” Minji said shrugging, purposefully teasing Daesung.
“Right. I know. Totally wasn’t scary. Of course,” Daesung said loudly, which had become his tell as Minji observed, tickled by the fact he was lying. They walked slowly and Minji watched their feet step in unison, first the left, then the right. She smiled as she looked up, watching Daesung’s face deep in thought.
“Thank you,” she said softly causing him to turn and look at her in surprise, his eyes wide open.
“Me? Why?” he questioned, pointing to himself.
“I don’t know really. For a lot of things, I guess.” Minji felt herself grow hot as she blushed and avoided Daesung’s gaze. Suddenly he felt something in him kick start, his heart beating fast and his thoughts racing in and out of his mind. He quickly sped up so he could step in front of her, throwing off her balance a little as she came to a quick stop, almost falling into him.
“Minji…Today was really great.”
Minji nodded before smiling wider, “For me, too.”
“I know you have someone else,” Daesung started. Minji felt a small ache in her chest come back but it was far duller than it had been before. She had forgotten. For a couple hours, she hadn’t thought about it at all. She felt adrenaline pump through her as she began to think her own racing thoughts about not being ready for this feeling to happen to her all over again. She crossed her arms anxiously as Daesung continued, “But I think maybe, we should keep doing this. Not date or anything but you know-“
“Hang out?” Minji suggested, biting her lip. She watched him press his lips together nervously before revealing them again, the action almost playing in slow motion in her mind as she studied his full lips. She smiled absentmindedly. That was one thing talking to him always made her do, smile.
“Yeah, hang out.” Daesung spoke without knowing if they were really in agreement. He was willing to be her friend but he didn’t want to just be her friend. He was hoping she would grow to like him one day or that maybe after tonight she’d give him a chance but he had started to doubt himself. To her, he was probably just some goofy guy with a dumb smile and a penchant for being embarrassed. He didn’t even know how she felt about him as a friend, let alone as a guy and he had basically pushed himself on her. Every doubt was growing in his mind before his thoughts stopped abruptly, feeling her hands on his shoulders, steadying her weight as she stood on tiptoe, kissing him on the cheek, her soft lips against his hot skin. He blushed, already playing the moment over again in his head, dazed by the very fact she had kissed him, goofy smile and all. He let loose a nervous chuckle before she stepped back.
“Well, I’d like to hang out again sometime, Daesung oppa. I really would.” Minji said before continuing to walk home, leading her blushing oppa behind her.