FIC: When Spies have Job Interviews [Gundam Wing, Trowa & Une & Middie & Wufei]
Title: When Spies have Job Interviews
Author: Omnicat v''v
Rating: K+ / G
Genre: Humor
Spoilers & Desirable Foreknowledge: The series proper and Episode Zero.
Warnings: Bisexuality. Spelling Preventors with an ‘o’.
Pairings: Hints at Middie Une x Catherine Bloom
Disclaimer: Me no claim, you no sue. That okay?
Summary: "You need to watch out for her. She used to be a spy." Trowa said. "Oh wow, really?" Une deadpanned.
Author’s Note: Whoo! I’m getting back on track. Move over, writer’s block, I’m having a crackfest! *KNOCK ON WOOD*
When Spies have Job Interviews
"I must say your suspicion surprises me, Trowa." Une said. She hadn’t lowered her left eyebrow in at least a quarter of an hour.
"You need to watch out for her. She used to be a spy."
"Oh wow, really?" Une deadpanned. Trowa shot her a look sharp with annoyance.
"I’m serious. She’s good. Don’t be fooled by her innocent appearance."
Une chuckled. "Oh, I know. I remember a time at one of our grandfathers’ birthdays, when a bunch of us grandchildren had been using the bed in the master bedroom as a trampoline. We’d been warned to be careful and not break anything, but of course something had to go wrong. I don’t remember how she did it, but she managed to get all of us out of smashing a large ornate mirror scott free."
Clearly unamused by the childhood antics of the youngest generation of Unes, Trowa sharpened his look some more. Une smirked. "Don’t worry. Wufei will deal with her. With him as the interrogator, it’ll be like a double polygraph."
"Okay, let’s start with something simple. Is your name Middie Annelise Une?"
"Yes."
"Are you twenty years of age?"
"Yes."
"Are you biologically female?"
"Tried and tested."
"Ugh - restrict your answers to yes or no, please. Are you an only child?"
"No."
"Are you related to Lady Une, of the Preventor organization?"
"Yes."
"Are you two close?"
"Not really."
"Were you planning to use your familial connection to the director to get a job here?"
"I was keeping it in mind."
"Yes or no, please."
"I can’t say. Depends."
"Alright, elaborate. But stay on topic please."
"I got the idea of applying here because I heard Lady was in charge. Today I was planning to gather information and see if the Preventors are something I’d want to be a part of. If it was worth it, I would have kept the family card at hand in case my credentials weren’t enough to get me in."
"Have you ever infiltrated units or organizations of any kind with the intent of gathering information for a third party that could be used to the detriment of said unit or organization?"
"Yes. It’s all in my files. But I swear I’m here for nobody’s benefit but my own."
"Just answer the question, please. So you admit to have been a spy for the Alliance in the past."
"Yes."
"And you are no longer fulfilling any such duties for them at present?"
"No."
"How do you feel about the downfall of the Alliance?"
"Glad. And relieved."
"Why?"
"Because I was ten when they scouted me. They took advantage of me, made me do horrible things, kept me on a string. I hope all the bastards who made it happen rot in hell."
"So you’re not harbouring any desires to see the Alliance in its old form resurrected and reinstated to its former position of power?"
"No! Let me ask you, how did my cousin feel when OZ went down? Does she want to go back to the old days? We both did some pretty awful things during the war, but Lady got to turn over a new leaf with this organization. That’s what I want too. That’s what this whole Preventor business is all about, isn’t it? Converting old forces to agents of the new regime and making sure nobody starts another violent rebellion?"
"Quite true." Wufei briefly quirked an eyebrow at the one-way mirror that took up most of the side wall. "Well Miss Une, I believe -"
But at that moment the door flew open. Trowa barged in, planted his hands on the table and leaned forward in such a way that he almost pushed Wufei from his chair.
"Do you remember me?" he demanded.
Middie gawked at him, first in amazement at his entry, then in slowly dawning recognition. "No way... is that you, No-Name?" The polygraph whizzed as her heartbeat sped up and blood flooded her cheeks.
"Trowa, for crying out loud -"
But again Trowa interrupted Wufei. "Don’t play dumb, of course you remember me. Why else would you be here? Why else would you be hanging around the circus grounds so much lately?"
Middie’s expression went from shocked to completely uncomprehending. "What does the circus have to do with anything? Do you work here, No-Na- I mean, what did he just call you, Trowa?"
"You know where I work. You’ve been around every day for the past two weeks. Don’t try to deny it."
She opened her mouth several times before she managed to find an answer. "Oh, wait a second... now I see it! You’re that clown! Wow, I hadn’t even recognized you, with all that hair and the half mask in the way."
"Of course you recognized me, why else would you keep coming? Stop lying."
"She’s not lying." Wufei interjected. He pointed a frowning Trowa to the polygraph readings. Trowa’s expression lost its severity, and when he looked back up at Middie his frown was one of confusion.
"Then what do you keep on coming back for?"
"The knife thrower you do your acts with - she’s really cute. I’ve been trying to get her to go out with me."
"You mean you like girls?"
"Oh my goodness, it’s a girl?! I hadn’t even noticed, with all that skintight spandex in the way!"
Now that the suspicion had worn off, Trowa looked almost hurt. "That’s not what you said last time we spoke."
"We were ten years old back then!" Middie gave him a once over. "And it’s not like I’ve sworn off boys completely. No-Name, I... or is it Trowa now?"
"Trowa Barton, yes." Lady Une, standing in the doorway, had been watching the events unfold with growing amusement. Now she stepped forward and extended a hand to her younger cousin. "May I suggest you get off that lie-detector before you continue your conversation? Congratulations, Middie, you’re hired."
PSAN: Hope you liked it. ^_^
Spies Of Our Lives
Middie Une shows up out of nowhere and enlists with the Preventers. Paranoia ensues. Or it would, if Trowa had any say in it.
When Spies meet Howard’s Hawaiian, and Its Namesake
When Spies have Job Interviews
When Spies meet their Karmic Twins
When Spies have Boring Assignments
When Spies meet Wise Old Masters
When Spies have Interesting Assignments
When Spies meet No-One. In Fact, This Never Happened
When Spies have Days Off
When Spies meet the No-Nonsense, Unimpressed Truth
When Spies have Family Outings
When Spies meet Relatives for Rent
When Spies have Utterly Bizarre Assignments
When Spies meet the Undead Doctor
When Spies have No Good, Very Bad Days
When Spies meet the Ghost of Love Disasters Past
When Spies have Reconciliation, Finally!
When Spies meet Their Ever After
Author: Omnicat v''v
Rating: K+ / G
Genre: Humor
Spoilers & Desirable Foreknowledge: The series proper and Episode Zero.
Warnings: Bisexuality. Spelling Preventors with an ‘o’.
Pairings: Hints at Middie Une x Catherine Bloom
Disclaimer: Me no claim, you no sue. That okay?
Summary: "You need to watch out for her. She used to be a spy." Trowa said. "Oh wow, really?" Une deadpanned.
Author’s Note: Whoo! I’m getting back on track. Move over, writer’s block, I’m having a crackfest! *KNOCK ON WOOD*
When Spies have Job Interviews
"I must say your suspicion surprises me, Trowa." Une said. She hadn’t lowered her left eyebrow in at least a quarter of an hour.
"You need to watch out for her. She used to be a spy."
"Oh wow, really?" Une deadpanned. Trowa shot her a look sharp with annoyance.
"I’m serious. She’s good. Don’t be fooled by her innocent appearance."
Une chuckled. "Oh, I know. I remember a time at one of our grandfathers’ birthdays, when a bunch of us grandchildren had been using the bed in the master bedroom as a trampoline. We’d been warned to be careful and not break anything, but of course something had to go wrong. I don’t remember how she did it, but she managed to get all of us out of smashing a large ornate mirror scott free."
Clearly unamused by the childhood antics of the youngest generation of Unes, Trowa sharpened his look some more. Une smirked. "Don’t worry. Wufei will deal with her. With him as the interrogator, it’ll be like a double polygraph."
"Okay, let’s start with something simple. Is your name Middie Annelise Une?"
"Yes."
"Are you twenty years of age?"
"Yes."
"Are you biologically female?"
"Tried and tested."
"Ugh - restrict your answers to yes or no, please. Are you an only child?"
"No."
"Are you related to Lady Une, of the Preventor organization?"
"Yes."
"Are you two close?"
"Not really."
"Were you planning to use your familial connection to the director to get a job here?"
"I was keeping it in mind."
"Yes or no, please."
"I can’t say. Depends."
"Alright, elaborate. But stay on topic please."
"I got the idea of applying here because I heard Lady was in charge. Today I was planning to gather information and see if the Preventors are something I’d want to be a part of. If it was worth it, I would have kept the family card at hand in case my credentials weren’t enough to get me in."
"Have you ever infiltrated units or organizations of any kind with the intent of gathering information for a third party that could be used to the detriment of said unit or organization?"
"Yes. It’s all in my files. But I swear I’m here for nobody’s benefit but my own."
"Just answer the question, please. So you admit to have been a spy for the Alliance in the past."
"Yes."
"And you are no longer fulfilling any such duties for them at present?"
"No."
"How do you feel about the downfall of the Alliance?"
"Glad. And relieved."
"Why?"
"Because I was ten when they scouted me. They took advantage of me, made me do horrible things, kept me on a string. I hope all the bastards who made it happen rot in hell."
"So you’re not harbouring any desires to see the Alliance in its old form resurrected and reinstated to its former position of power?"
"No! Let me ask you, how did my cousin feel when OZ went down? Does she want to go back to the old days? We both did some pretty awful things during the war, but Lady got to turn over a new leaf with this organization. That’s what I want too. That’s what this whole Preventor business is all about, isn’t it? Converting old forces to agents of the new regime and making sure nobody starts another violent rebellion?"
"Quite true." Wufei briefly quirked an eyebrow at the one-way mirror that took up most of the side wall. "Well Miss Une, I believe -"
But at that moment the door flew open. Trowa barged in, planted his hands on the table and leaned forward in such a way that he almost pushed Wufei from his chair.
"Do you remember me?" he demanded.
Middie gawked at him, first in amazement at his entry, then in slowly dawning recognition. "No way... is that you, No-Name?" The polygraph whizzed as her heartbeat sped up and blood flooded her cheeks.
"Trowa, for crying out loud -"
But again Trowa interrupted Wufei. "Don’t play dumb, of course you remember me. Why else would you be here? Why else would you be hanging around the circus grounds so much lately?"
Middie’s expression went from shocked to completely uncomprehending. "What does the circus have to do with anything? Do you work here, No-Na- I mean, what did he just call you, Trowa?"
"You know where I work. You’ve been around every day for the past two weeks. Don’t try to deny it."
She opened her mouth several times before she managed to find an answer. "Oh, wait a second... now I see it! You’re that clown! Wow, I hadn’t even recognized you, with all that hair and the half mask in the way."
"Of course you recognized me, why else would you keep coming? Stop lying."
"She’s not lying." Wufei interjected. He pointed a frowning Trowa to the polygraph readings. Trowa’s expression lost its severity, and when he looked back up at Middie his frown was one of confusion.
"Then what do you keep on coming back for?"
"The knife thrower you do your acts with - she’s really cute. I’ve been trying to get her to go out with me."
"You mean you like girls?"
"Oh my goodness, it’s a girl?! I hadn’t even noticed, with all that skintight spandex in the way!"
Now that the suspicion had worn off, Trowa looked almost hurt. "That’s not what you said last time we spoke."
"We were ten years old back then!" Middie gave him a once over. "And it’s not like I’ve sworn off boys completely. No-Name, I... or is it Trowa now?"
"Trowa Barton, yes." Lady Une, standing in the doorway, had been watching the events unfold with growing amusement. Now she stepped forward and extended a hand to her younger cousin. "May I suggest you get off that lie-detector before you continue your conversation? Congratulations, Middie, you’re hired."
PSAN: Hope you liked it. ^_^
Spies Of Our Lives
Middie Une shows up out of nowhere and enlists with the Preventers. Paranoia ensues. Or it would, if Trowa had any say in it.
When Spies meet Howard’s Hawaiian, and Its Namesake
When Spies have Job Interviews
When Spies meet their Karmic Twins
When Spies have Boring Assignments
When Spies meet Wise Old Masters
When Spies have Interesting Assignments
When Spies meet No-One. In Fact, This Never Happened
When Spies have Days Off
When Spies meet the No-Nonsense, Unimpressed Truth
When Spies have Family Outings
When Spies meet Relatives for Rent
When Spies have Utterly Bizarre Assignments
When Spies meet the Undead Doctor
When Spies have No Good, Very Bad Days
When Spies meet the Ghost of Love Disasters Past
When Spies have Reconciliation, Finally!
When Spies meet Their Ever After