Neil Diamond has a song called "Brooklyn Roads" where he describes sitting in a parent-teacher conference, and his teacher saying about him "got a good head, if he'd apply it, but you know yourself, he's always someplace else." It was very reassuring to me as a kid, because it let me know that I wasn't the only one who wasn't "living up to his potential."
Huh. I just asked Mom, and she said-- at least in high school-- she liked going to them. (Mind, these weren't requested, just the school-wide ones.) Pretty much the only thing I remember about them is Mom telling me that one of my teachers went, "I'm so glad to have parents of good students come. It's wonderful to talk about good things."
I do remember dreading them a little because I never knew what the teachers would actually say.
*hugs* Almost everybody hates those conferences, hon. The kids hate them, the parents hate them, and the teachers hate them most of all, because they've got to do a parent-teacher conference for every child in the class
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I think our teachers rather started out with the not-so-good, and when that was discussed, ended with good things. Whether there was a point to it or not, they probably felt honesty was a virtue.
I do worry that they'll address things that I really don't know how to help, and that I won't be able to answer, and that I'll just generally leave a bad impression. In my brain, I know that they're surely used to worse and that it can't be that bad. But in my stomach, I can't help feeling apprehensive and inadequate. Thank you for your kind words, though!
You're welcome! *hugs* You're going to leave a lovely impression, dearheart; you're young, beautiful, respectable, educated, married parents who love each other and adore your truly-adorable children. Do you have any idea how many parents do not match that description? You'll be a relief and a delight.
See my comment down below: it's not you who's up for judgement in these conferences. It's your child's teacher; every one of these conferences is a job interview and/or performance review for her. She has to satisfy you that she's creating a safe, friendly, respectful environment for your son, is capable of understanding his unique learning styles, challenging his strengths and building up his weaknesses, and can keep order in a group of young children with patience, kindness, fairness and humor
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Actually, we have way too many parents who display the exact attitude that you recommend (Jörg worked as a chemistry teacher for just half a year, and part of why he didn't continue doing it was the attitude of the parents). Unfortunately, it doesn't come with accepting that sometimes, a child may behave differently in school than it does at home; that sometimes, a nice child may nonetheless be a bad student; and that sometimes, bad behaviour is NOT the sign of genius or "giftedness". I don't want to be like that
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My mom was a teacher. And I can tell you, she did hate parent-teacher talks too ;) She could never attend the school-wide ones as a parent for me and my siblings, though. We went to her school and she had to work on those days. ...which is much worse than having a mother going to parent-teacher-talks. She was informed about all and everything I did all day long. About me wearing nail polish or drinking coke in the school breaks. About forgetting my maths homework or saying terrible things like "Scheiße" in class. Big mom and big teacher jointly watching me. Yeah. And every day something to complain. Although I hardly ever had marks other than "1". And I was Miss-Know-It-All and I was stupid enough not to stop answering the teachers' questions. So the others bullied me and every single time I tried to do something against it, my mum was immediately informed about my misbehaving. Oh wonderful time of adolescence. I was never happier than when I could leave the town and the county and the school and the people and everything else behind
Urgh. That's really bad style, though - constantly telling a colleague how her child is behaving (or misbehaving). If I were a teacher and my kids went to the school where I'm teaching, I'd be sure to tell the other teachers to shut up and only tell me things that'd be worth a letter or phone call to "normal" parents, too. Mind you, I have no clue whether they'd do...
And I was Miss-Know-It-All and I was stupid enough not to stop answering the teachers' questions.
Funny, I feel stupid now for not being brave enough to ignore the others. Whatever you do...
I bet it will be really interesting with Felix! He sounds like the kind of kid that would never the subject of dull teacher conferences! Funny, smart, and with a will of his own
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But, in the end, it did not matter whether I was hearing wonderful things about my daughter or cringe-worthy horror stories about my son, they were always positive for me--something entirely centered upon my obsessive interest in my kids. For me they were all about having a captive audience who were being paid to listen to me, share my anxieties and concerns about the kids, and who would tell me what they had observed and maybe give advice. I would listen and perhaps argue if I disagreed. I was not a passive listener.
Hah! I wish I could view it so positively. I'll try! How did Alex's open-house event go? Can the teachers handle his... how did you say? Funny, smart, and with a will of his own ways? ^^
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I do remember dreading them a little because I never knew what the teachers would actually say.
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Exactly.
I didn't ask my mom yet. Maybe she liked it after all. But for the first time in my life, the thought crossed my mind that maybe she didn't!
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I do worry that they'll address things that I really don't know how to help, and that I won't be able to answer, and that I'll just generally leave a bad impression. In my brain, I know that they're surely used to worse and that it can't be that bad. But in my stomach, I can't help feeling apprehensive and inadequate. Thank you for your kind words, though!
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See my comment down below: it's not you who's up for judgement in these conferences. It's your child's teacher; every one of these conferences is a job interview and/or performance review for her. She has to satisfy you that she's creating a safe, friendly, respectful environment for your son, is capable of understanding his unique learning styles, challenging his strengths and building up his weaknesses, and can keep order in a group of young children with patience, kindness, fairness and humor ( ... )
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She could never attend the school-wide ones as a parent for me and my siblings, though. We went to her school and she had to work on those days.
...which is much worse than having a mother going to parent-teacher-talks. She was informed about all and everything I did all day long. About me wearing nail polish or drinking coke in the school breaks. About forgetting my maths homework or saying terrible things like "Scheiße" in class. Big mom and big teacher jointly watching me. Yeah. And every day something to complain. Although I hardly ever had marks other than "1". And I was Miss-Know-It-All and I was stupid enough not to stop answering the teachers' questions. So the others bullied me and every single time I tried to do something against it, my mum was immediately informed about my misbehaving.
Oh wonderful time of adolescence. I was never happier than when I could leave the town and the county and the school and the people and everything else behind
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And I was Miss-Know-It-All and I was stupid enough not to stop answering the teachers' questions.
Funny, I feel stupid now for not being brave enough to ignore the others. Whatever you do...
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Hah! I wish I could view it so positively. I'll try!
How did Alex's open-house event go? Can the teachers handle his... how did you say? Funny, smart, and with a will of his own ways? ^^
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