and no one even knew, it was really only you

[okroginator]

Another meme ganked from redbrunja!

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain

Comments

[redbrunja]

She's never seen a Sharingan up close, she tells him, and he places one palm to each side of her head and lets her have a look

[okroginator]

Hmm...I remember this being fun to write.

This, if I remember correctly, was written while I was RP'ing as Itachi at thedollsyhouse (which I no longer do), and while I was there, I ended up describing the Sharingan a lot in tags (especially with non-canonmates, who wouldn't know what it looked like or what it did). From practice, I became quite good at it. XD

[redbrunja]

seductive!Itachi IS dkflsdalklfaslsajl yes.

And I totally agree about how interesting it is to put Itachi in the dominate role, and how that nicely tweaks their dynamics.

Alos, I love the subtely in Anko's last line.

[okroginator]

Hee, thanks. C:

Also, re:comment below us, I've been thinking about doing a DVD comentary on all of Fugue, highlighting areas that I think I did well in, and things I'd like to work on. If I did that, would you be down with helping me self-crit in comments? I ask because the fic is ungodly huge, and I don't know if I'd want to do the whole thing if not many people are going to be interested, in the interest of saving myself a few hours of what might otherwise be productive possibly productive time.

from Fugue

[hungrytiger11]

I look at the apple and recoil. It’s smeared with red. I must have nicked myself deeper than I thought. “Shit

holy teal deer, Batman!

[okroginator]

Actually, I've been thinking about just doing a DVD commentary for this whole fic, because I love parts of it, feel like some parts could use improvement, and in general want to self-crit and encourage crit from others. Do you think I should?

This scene was a scene...I knew what was going to happen in it, knew what it was going to convey on the surface and subtextually and how both sides were going to contribute to the plot, but I had no idea how I was going to actually, you know. End the scene.

Originally, I started moving into a longer exploration of Itachi finding out that Sasuke was going to be entering Academy, but the scene started losing focus; the most important part of this scene is Itachi and Shisui's conversation, and that's it. So logically, it should end right after their conversation. I knew that, and ended up chopping off the Sasuke scene, but ending the scene at "Having a definite course of action does that," felt too abrupt. So I decided to mention Sasuke anyway, while moving away, but it still prevented me

TEAL DEER TWO: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

[okroginator]

Leaving the blood symbolism and moving on, the next most important thing in this scene is Shisui and Itachi's conversation. Since I could go on for paragraphs about the whole scene, I'll be good and stick to only the text you copypasta'd for me (instead of running off onto another thousand tangents like above ;_;). Out of this portion of their conversation, the important thing is the end--down at the bottom, where Itachi agrees to make sure he's at the next clan meeting.

I love playing with Itachi and Shisui's dynamic, mostly because Itachi has no idea exactly how much more emotionally dominant Shisui is in their relationship. Up until this point, yes, we've had goofy scenes where Itachi is the smary one and Shisui is the one doing dumb things like trying to drink a whole bottle of sake--so here is where we, the readers, start to glimpse a darker side of Shisui. There were earlier hints at it, like him being a dick about Anko and in general coming off as a slightly misogynistic asshole and other such, but it's only in this scene

Re: TEAL DEER TWO: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

[hungrytiger11]

See, there is so much going on in all of this; it's wonderful!

If you did do a commentary for the whole fic, I would so read it! The sybolism is fantastic. Shisui and his power need to be talked about (as does his death scene), and well, Itachi.

Thanks for this bit though!

From night terror

[flibbergibbet]

I... think this is under 500 words. Maybe.

Being a traitor didn’t matter. Being a villain didn’t matter. His death at Sasuke’s hands would have taken care of that. No one would mourn him, as no one mourns the wicked-he would reap as he had sown, and Sasuke could finally live. His unattainable redemption would come at the mercies of fate and the avenger of his clan. The blood of all the Uchiha was on his hands forever, but this

Re: From night terror

[okroginator]

To be honest, I don't care about the word limit. If you'd copy-pasted the whole fic, I would have gladly jabbered about it until I passed out, blue in the face. XD I get like that when I talk about my writing (because I am an egomaniac, clearly).

I like the idea of Itachi having really bad nightmares all the time, to the point where he feels weird when he doesn't have them. (I didn't use the second part of that idea in this fic, but I might use it in Those Who Favor Fire.) Specifically, this fic came about after I spent a great deal of time thinking about what Itachi's reaction must have been when he heard that Sasuke had gone over to Orochimaru, given his own history with the man. It occurred to me to wonder what Itachi's reaction would have been if Orochimaru succeeded in taking Sasuke's body for his own, and what kind of wrench that would have thrown into Itachi's Planz