beyondtherift ][ public, unfortunately

[ohshiny_tomatos]

I used to have a brother, but he died. He died because I taught him to ride a bike and he got hit. I was there when it happened. It was my fault for teaching him

Comments

[locked]

[archangelet]

I... kinda know what you mean. About leaving, and people not loving you.

...Just sayin'.

[locked]

[ohshiny_tomatos]

[it's going to be a long time until she replies to this, she still hates that she wrote that, but it's a little easier to respond to someone she doesn't really know]

I didn't mean to write that.

Does it

Does it make you sad? I think it should make me more sad, but I'm okay with it.

[locked]

[archangelet]

[ there's a bit of a pause before this response as well. Honesty about feelings is hard for Tay. ]

Yeah. I wish it didn't, though. Then I wouldn't have to worry about it. And I wouldn't be so lonely.

You're lucky.

[locked]

[ohshiny_tomatos]

[and a long pause here too. talking about feelings period is hard for Parker.]

I'm sorry you're lonely.

I'm a little lonely sometimes.

[Locked]

[i_robert_capa]

[It takes him a while to reply, he's just trying to think of what to say. It makes him sad to read this. And he just...]

It's not your fault at all, Parker. Sometimes things just happen, it was an accident. But it certainly wasn't your fault.

Yes, some people do leave I'm afraid. It's one of the sad things about life. But again, it's not your fault. Things just happen. But one mustn't let that stop one from loving people. Life is too short to push everyone away.

[He feels like a hypocrite. He knows he's not wanted to be close to people before because he's scared of losing them. He's being like that with Hermione right now. He was very close to her, but then he lost her. Now he's too scared to be friends with her again. Because it's so difficult and it hurts.

But Parker needs to hear better things than what he feels.]

You are a good person, Parker. I do know that for sure. I don't know everything about you, but I do know enough. That certainly hasn't stopped me from being your friend.

I won't leave you.

[Locked]

[ohshiny_tomatos]

[she's hiding Capa, it's going to be awhile before she even tries to respond to this, but she doesn't know how]

You can't promise that.

This is stupid. This stupid Rift is stupid.

[Locked]

[i_robert_capa]

[He sighs at this answer, she is right.]

No.

But I can promise that I want to stay around and be your friend.

And if the Rift did take me, I assure you it would be through no fault of yours. It would be the Rift's, since I have no intention of leaving Chicago or anyone else I know here.

The Rifts are very stupid.

[Locked]

[ohshiny_tomatos]

I don't want to talk about it. Can we never talk about it?

[thehighestwing]

I'm really sorry about what happened to your brother, but I don't think you should blame yourself.

People leaving or dying can be scary, but the thought of not getting to love them? Not giving them the chance to love you?

That can be scarier, and you'd be missing out on something wonderful.

Everyone deserves to be loved.

[ohshiny_tomatos]

[once again, she's hiding, she won't get to this for awhile, but when she does:]

I didn't mean to write that.

[thehighestwing]

... I know. The Rift's... acting up again, I think.

[ohshiny_tomatos]

It is? I hate it when it does this stuff.

[smithnjones]

You don't know how, but you still will.

You still will love people again and not all of them will go away.

When we don't see what's loving inside of us, someone will come along and hey will, because they're not bogged down by the hundreds and millions of things inside of us. They can look in and see all the beautiful inside to love.

[ohshiny_tomatos]

[it's awhile before she replies, but...eventually she does.]

Friends can do that, right? See inside?

[smithnjones]

Yes, they can.

They're brilliant that way.

[locked]

[ohshiny_tomatos]

Friends can die too though.

[wereall_addicts]

[Sophie is a walking Parker detector. She knows the girl better than Parker realizes, and it's just a matter of process of elimination. Eventually she stops outside the air duct she believes Parker is hiding in, and speaks]

I'm sorry about your brother, love.

[ohshiny_tomatos]

[is quiet for a long time, but realizes faking it won't work and that Sophie isn't going to go away.]

Why? You didn't do it.

[wereall_addicts]

[glances up at the vent and sighs]

And neither did you.

[ohshiny_tomatos]

[she doesn't want to hear that. not from you, Sophie. she wants you to tell her that she's wrong and bad and that you don't love her anymore. because she thinks she deserves it.]

Did you know it echoes in here a little bit?

[...attempted subject change there.]