Filled: "Were It Not That I Have Bad Dreams" (1/2)
anonymous
November 3 2017, 07:56:07 UTC
Okay, I got some inspiration out of the blue! I really hope other people fill this too. Warnings for references to torture/self injury.
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He’s cold. He’s on his back. He hurts, all over. His face is somehow both numb and in horrific pain, all at once. He’s too stiff and weak to move, and every gasping breath he takes sets off a flare of lancing agony that arcs up through his chest, making his eyes sting and more tears leak out. There is a hand carding through his hair. It’s gentle. He doesn’t have the energy to flinch away
( ... )
RE: Filled: "Were It Not That I Have Bad Dreams" (1/2)
anonymous
November 3 2017, 08:23:50 UTC
Dean’s given up on sleep for the night. Mom’s gone, Lucifer's in the wind, the British are a bunch of poncy assholes, and altogether he just can’t bring himself to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling anymore tonight. This morning. Whatever
( ... )
RE: Filled: "Were It Not That I Have Bad Dreams" (3/3)
anonymous
November 3 2017, 08:25:13 UTC
Sam just shrugs, though.
“You wanna. You know. If you want to talk about it.” Please don’t tell me, he thinks, I don’t want to know.
Sam finally looks up at him, his forehead creased in a half-frown. “You don’t want to talk about it.”
Dean manages a little laugh. It’s not funny. “Yeah, but maybe it’d be, y’know, good for you. What with him being out and about, and everything.”
Sam looks back down, and Dean figures that’s the end of the after school special. But then Sam speaks. "He liked to give me choices, sometimes.”
Dean's spine prickles. “Yeah?” he hears himself say.
Sam’s voice is too soft and even, too conversational. But his eyes are glassy and far away, and the look on his face makes Dean go cold. “I mean. They weren’t choices. Not really. But then, then he could say. Would say that I chose it, what he did. Because I said yes."
Dean’s throat closes. He doesn’t trust himself to move without screaming, or maybe sobbing.
Sam takes another drink of water, and bends his head back down. Like he’s fucking embarrassed
( ... )
RE: Filled: "Were It Not That I Have Bad Dreams" (3/3)cowboyguyJanuary 8 2018, 04:09:36 UTC
Oh, man, that was awesome. I love the quietness of this, of just the two of them, awake way too early in the morning, and the current of tension and pain that's running underneath it all. Sam's nightmares are heartbreaking, and I love Dean's way of dealing with it, still talking to his brother and helping him even though he's not sure quite what to say or whether he really wants to know more.
Job well done! (And sorry for the ridiculously late comment.)
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He’s cold. He’s on his back. He hurts, all over. His face is somehow both numb and in horrific pain, all at once. He’s too stiff and weak to move, and every gasping breath he takes sets off a flare of lancing agony that arcs up through his chest, making his eyes sting and more tears leak out. There is a hand carding through his hair. It’s gentle. He doesn’t have the energy to flinch away ( ... )
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“You wanna. You know. If you want to talk about it.” Please don’t tell me, he thinks, I don’t want to know.
Sam finally looks up at him, his forehead creased in a half-frown. “You don’t want to talk about it.”
Dean manages a little laugh. It’s not funny. “Yeah, but maybe it’d be, y’know, good for you. What with him being out and about, and everything.”
Sam looks back down, and Dean figures that’s the end of the after school special. But then Sam speaks. "He liked to give me choices, sometimes.”
Dean's spine prickles. “Yeah?” he hears himself say.
Sam’s voice is too soft and even, too conversational. But his eyes are glassy and far away, and the look on his face makes Dean go cold. “I mean. They weren’t choices. Not really. But then, then he could say. Would say that I chose it, what he did. Because I said yes."
Dean’s throat closes. He doesn’t trust himself to move without screaming, or maybe sobbing.
Sam takes another drink of water, and bends his head back down. Like he’s fucking embarrassed ( ... )
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I've cleaned and posted this fill at AO3 here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12841185
Sorry I'm replying so late, but I really appreciate all your lovely comments!!
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Job well done! (And sorry for the ridiculously late comment.)
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