Guess what day it is? Comment-fic day!

[ratherastory]

Once again, it's everyone's favourite day in Supernatural: May 2nd! You know what that means, right? Time to hurt Sam! ;)

You know the drill, right? Allow me to post a refresher:

Comments

[ratherastory]

Sam's not crazy, okay? Dean knows that, Sam knows that, anyone who knows what happened to them knows that Sam isn't crazy. Except, well, a lot of the time it kind of does look a lot like Sam is going crazy. And, well, while Sam was in the psych ward in 7.17 and the doctors pumped him full of drugs, it actually kind of helped. It didn't make him sleep, Lucifer made sure of that, but even Sam could tell that the prescription medication took the edge off, made him feel less anxious, less like he wanted to slit his own wrists just to make everything stop.

Of course, only crazy people really need medication, and Sam's not crazy. And taking pills is for people who can't cope with reality and for spoiled movie stars and neurotic housewives, and pills turn you into a zombie and makes you "not yourself" anymore and-and-and [insert myth about psychiatric meds here]. Sam has heard all of this before and he believes all of it, except that every time he thinks back all he remembers is that he felt better, less desperate and awful and like he was

[shangrilada]

Might have to do this one.

[ratherastory]

♥

[familybizness]

YOU. REALLY. SHOULD.

[shangrilada]

Yeah??

[familybizness]

hilariously obviously yours.

[shangrilada]

hee.

[ratherastory]

Sorry, read this after writing similar prompt below.

[ratherastory]

No worries. Your prompt is basically the opposite of my prompt. :)

[shangrilada]

FILLED: Managing 1/3

WARNING: self-injury.

Sam has always been...off. Jess called it quirky. John called it weird little kid with a hair ruffle and an eye roll.

Dean calls it Sam, but whatever.

Sam doesn't have a cute nickname for it because it isn't fucking cute when you just want to go to class but you have to make sure the knives are facing the right way or you stay up all night turning the tap water on and off in the bathroom until it stutters the same way it did the first time you ran it. It's not fucking cute when you're fine with doorknobs and handshakes and you'd eat out of a fucking dumpster if you had to, you're NOT the crazy detective on TV, okay, but you have a headache and you can't take a fucking aspirin because what if someone poisoned it?

So it wasn't ever cute, but it was manageable.

Because Sam's a hunter. What was he going to do, cry about it?

Everything was manageable. It just had to be.

**

For the first few days after the psych ward, Dean is just gentle.He bandages up Sam's fucked-up fingernails and

[shangrilada]

FILLED: Managing 2/3

It's three cuts under his elbow and two breathless crying lags while Dean's in the shower where he whispers to himself that he can't remember the last time it wasn't this bad before he realizes that he can.

Because as much as the psych ward sucked, as much as playing ring-around-the-rosey with Lucifer left him tasting blood and bile and sent him spiraling back to the cage, there was something there that he hadn't felt since the wall fell. There was something, something like a rope, something he could grip and pull on and climb and it wasn't easy, of course it wasn't fucking easy, but it was there.Sam Winchester is not an idiot

[shangrilada]

FILLED: Managing 3/3Dean counts out pills, dropping a few of each into the ridiculous little pill-organizer he insisted on stealing from the pharmacy along with the ten orange bottles. He double checks dosages on the internet and Sam knows this isn't the way they're supposed to do this, but they've been to Hell and they just get to do this, okay

[familybizness]

WHAAAT crying at work? NO. I don't cry. Fuck off about it.

[shangrilada]

<3

[ladykorana]

Just found this. Gah, so amazing!

[shangrilada]

thank you!