Britney Spears Reveals Sister Jamie Lynn Told Her to “Stop Fighting” the Conservatorship

[penelopetaynt]

Another day, another excerpt from Britney Spears’ upcoming explosive tell-all memoir The Woman In Me out October 24th.

In Britney Spears' memoir she reveals that Jamie Lynn told her to "stop fighting" the conservatorship.

"I felt like she should have taken my side.”

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- Rolling Stone (@RollingStone)

Comments

[green_monsterx]

I have a lot of mixed feelings about her relationship with Jamie Lynn because it doesn’t seem Britney tries to put herself in JL’s shoes to understand that although the abuse wasn’t the same, she was also growing up being raised by the same abusive and neglectful parents who also pushed her into show business and tried to capitalize on her as well. JL got pregnant as a teen and they tried to force her into an abortion as well, then sent her away and hid her when she refused. There’s a lot that both of them have gone through in their own ways and JL might have been just trying to survive, too. That hurt if your sister not supporting you runs very deep though - I know from personal experience. And I do understand Britney not be able to see anything past “you should have had my back and you didn’t

[insomniachobs]

I'm only slightly younger than Brit and have a similar age gap with my sister. The flow of give vs take is definitely very one way when they're very young, because naturally you can't expect a young child to match what you give them. Sometimes that dynamic persists into adulthood. It's fine when it's in minor doses, a lot of adult siblings occasionally lapse into childhood patterns for a second, but when it's not... shit ensues.

When I look at this situation, particularly some of the things Britney has railed about happening when JL was very young, it all smacks to me like the abuse prolonged and warped that dynamic. And made it difficult for Britney to separate out JL's failures as an adult who was fully capable of supporting her sister vs the shit when she's young which JL simply isn't culpable for, her parents are. And I think it very much leaves her unable to contextualise JL's experience vs her own and that while none of it is an excuse for JL's choices, none of this has happened in a vacuum.

[molkat]

That's gonna need some more context. I could see someone who had been admitted to a mental health facility against their will, being given the advice by someone who means well of 'stop fighting it' meaning, just go along with the treatments, fake it, go through the motions and get out of there.

[sweetwaterlane]

Good point. I think context would be important here, especially since Britney's been known to hyper-focus on certain words or phrases that trigger her, like Selena at her wedding saying "I just want you to be happy" 3x which reminded Britney of her mom saying something similar, or repeating herself 3 times, something like that. I'm not saying Jamie Lynn is innocent in the conservatorship, just that Britney and Jamie Lynn had different perspectives and experiences within an abusive family dynamic.

[ginainabottle]

I'm all about healing and letting go of anger bc anger is a terrible feeling, but I hate how the discourse around healing often veers into 'you have to forgive person x' bc that's far more about the feelings of the person who hurt you, so things are 'back to normal' for everyone, than the feelings of the person who was hurt

[anterrabre]

Thank you for this. Recoup and recover, not forgive and forget. I've also noticed that the people most into the "forgiveness will set you free" trope tend to be the toerag people who treat others badly.

[pseudonygma]

I'm glad you posted this because I was about to ask: Can someone explain to me what most people mean when they say you have to forgive others for your own peace of mind? Because I consistently feel like how most people define forgiveness and how I define it are very different

[belle_chouette]

I think the call for forgiveness often conceals a discomfort with confronting harsh realities and a strong desire to maintain the peace at all costs. It’s easier to force a victim to forgive than to acknowledge that there’s plenty of abusers among us.

A lot of people also confuse forgiveness with letting go. I cut off all contact with my mother a few years back and what helped me so much more than "forgiveness" was letting go of thinking that she will ever be the person I need her to be. And deciding that I don’t have space in my life to accommodate the person she actually is.

[fromyourashes]

i'll never understand the need to forgive someone who does shit like that to you. never. you don't need to do that. you don't need someone in your life just bc you share blood. it'll never ever ever be healthy for you. it's so fucking upsetting that people feel they have to forgive in order to heal.

[likeiused2]

I didn't cut my mom off until last week, and so I get it. it is a really hard pill to swallow.

[likeiused2]

my parents basically did the same thing to me. it took me a long time to trust them again, because they didn't listen or trust me. if my sister hadn't been by my side, i'd have lost it.