Comments | ohka15: Feeling better about myself and not be envious as well

ohka15

Feeling better about myself and not be envious as well

Sep 01, 2011 08:20

I really don't like myself. That is pretty simple (hence my low self esteem). I occassionally get very envious of various other people. Over the last 6 months or so, majority of the times I see another trans woman post a video or set of pictures about their progression of changes on hormones, I get extremely envious and distraught. I hate my body ( Read more... )

gross, body issues, self respect, self esteem, gloom, hormones, sad

Comments 19

shelleybear September 1 2011, 15:32:47 UTC

It took me five years to be able to be "mamed" several times over several days. Five years before my boobs and bum were OBVIOUSLY female. Five years before I found myself in a new relationship that featured a sexual component. But it's worth the wait. I had no local friends for three of the five years. I'm not saying it's easy, but it does happen, and I've seen your picture.Don't judge yourself too harshly.

ohka15 September 1 2011, 16:42:12 UTC

Thanks, but I do judge myself to not be anything close to attractive. One never knows what the future may hold. There is a chance that my future may also be filled with loneliness and despair.

In terms of the hormones, I just think it is too late for my body to change at all in any really noticeable fashion. I will have to accept this hideous form for the time being and the forseeable future.

shelleybear September 1 2011, 17:07:05 UTC

Uh. I'm 57.
Started when I was 51.
Sweetie, it takes time.
And THAT is what you need to hold on to.

ohka15 September 1 2011, 17:24:43 UTC

It also has a lot to do with genetics. Some people are biochemically more enabled to see more changes from hormones than others. Sometimes time does not matter

Thread 17

teeganjane September 1 2011, 22:39:38 UTC

You've been on hormones six months? You should definitely talk to your endo to see if your levels are right. For some people, it takes a year or longer to start noticing real effects, but in others, the combination of medication is wrong.

Also, are you seeing a therapist? These things are important.

I want you to know that you aren't alone, and that you have a community on here of people who care about you. Keep your head up, and remember why you're doing this: not for others, but for yourself. <3

With love, your friend,
Teegan

(The comment has been removed)

ohka15 September 1 2011, 23:19:55 UTC

I have been taking hormones for over 2.5 years. I barely saw anything happen that was noticeable to myself or anyone else during that time. So yeah, I am pretty much reserved to the fact that nothing new or exciting will occur to my body unless done surgically. My endo and I are still trying to find the correct dose of hormones (6 months now, ugh) cause my body has been resistant to some hormones we have seen. I guess maybe my body decided it likes being masculine.

I don't want to see a therapist right now.

I don't know if you can say I am not alone. It is a nice thing to say to try to make me feel a part of something, but I don't know if I really believe that. It is hard to feel that myself is worthy of anything.