I'll never think of April 30th the same...
For fireun
Ohhhhh, my god. I had you this really serious, stuffy, purple Ling/Ed drabble written, but I was terrified about the characterization. >_> So, I um, ...So, I did something different.
AND IT MAY BE INSANE. Because there is *no narration, whatsoever,* and it may or may not be pure, unadulterated crack, and it may break. your. brain!
Title: The Morning Report
Writer dude: myrafur
Fandom: Naruto
Characters/Pairings: ...
Warnings: BRAIN BREAKAGE.
"Gooooo~d morning, Sakuraaaa~a!"
"Oh, Ino, stop gloating and spill it, already. I can tell you have gossip."
"Who, me? I'm sure I don't know what you ...Oh, alright! Did you hear that Sasuke-kun has a tattoo??"
"Of course I've already heard, Ino-pig! He's on my team, after all"
"Oh, I bet it's something manly! A lion! or a dragon!"
"HA! Not likely. It's probably some kind of snake..."
"More like it's from the Snake."
"Well, no one asked you, Naru- Wait. Does that mean you've seen it?"
"Uhhh, yeah... you mean you haven't, Sakura-chan?"
"What, you guys talking about Sasuke's tattoo? I thought everyone already knew about that."
"Shikamaru! UGH! Of course you'd know."
"Well, then, what is it??"
"Yeah, spill!"
"Jeez, it's really noth-"
"Aaah-dit-dit-dit! Oh, nooooo no, Shikamaru. If they haven't seen it, you shouldn't spoil it for them. Right, Kiba?"
"Whazzat?"
"Sasuke's special tattoo? You know...? That one?"
"Oh, dude! The one on his meat and potatoes? I can't fucking-"
"Shhhh, Kiba, goddamnit!!"
"NARUTO!"
"O-on his ...on his what? Sakura? Tell me they're not talking about-"
"His Tiny Elvis. His Ass Blaster. His Uterus Unicorn. I shit you not. All the way down. He must seriously be into pain to let Orochi-"
"Are you talking about Sasuke, again, Kiba? I'm starting to suspect an obsession..."
"Ahhh, Neji, c'mon. It's interesting! How many people do you know who summon with their splooge moose?"
"Indeed, Neji! It is truly original! Were I able to summon, I would most certainly want to display my tattoo, proudly, and would waggle it with youthful vigor at my opponents and exclaim so that they will fear the awesome power that is Danger, the one-eyed ranger!"
"Ugh, Lee. As much as I enjoy your endless euphemisms for Sasuke's dangling participle, I- Good morning, Hinata-sama."
"G-good morning. Please don't stop your conversation on my account. I enjoy hearing about Sasuke's m-morning muscle!"
"OH SHIT, HINATA!!! AHAHAHA!! I think I may lo- Ow, ow, Sakura-chan, ow..."
"WHAT THE HELL?!"
"Can it, billboard brow. He'll be here any minute, and, I don't know about you, but I'm not going to be the last one to have seen Vlad the Impaler... Shikamaru?"
"I know, I know. God, you're a pain, woman..."
"That's hardly fair, Shikamaru. You shouldn't use your shadow bind just to see a pump-action yogurt rifle with a summoning tattoo..."
"I know. I'm not proud of it, but it's the only thing that gives us a fighting chance, Chouji."
"Oh."
"Yyyyeah. Naruto: Operation Excalibur on three."
"Ready!"
"Yyyyyyyyyoooooooooooosh!!!"
"One..."
"He... he can't do a fireball without his hands... can he?"
"Don't be stupid, Inuzuka. Of course not."
"Go-Godaime!"
"Nara-kun, don't abandon your comrades on my account. Your target at 50 kilometers is growing suspicious."
"Ahaha! You perverted old hag!"
"God, the women in this town... Two!"
"Ino! Stop bouncing, oh my god! You're going to dislocate my shoulder!"
"THREE!"
"Ehehe, good morning, Sasuke, you complete asshole. We've been waiting for you..."
~***~
"NYAAAAHHH!!!!!!!11eleventy!1"
"Ever dramatic, Sasuke-kun. You're late. Orochimaru-sama was expecting you at the summoning altar by 7, and it's nearly half-past, so I suggest you get up."
"..."
"You should be getting your tattoo, today. I know you must be excited..."
~End~
Ohhhhh, my god. I had you this really serious, stuffy, purple Ling/Ed drabble written, but I was terrified about the characterization. >_> So, I um, ...So, I did something different.
AND IT MAY BE INSANE. Because there is *no narration, whatsoever,* and it may or may not be pure, unadulterated crack, and it may break. your. brain!
Title: The Morning Report
Writer dude: myrafur
Fandom: Naruto
Characters/Pairings: ...
Warnings: BRAIN BREAKAGE.
"Gooooo~d morning, Sakuraaaa~a!"
"Oh, Ino, stop gloating and spill it, already. I can tell you have gossip."
"Who, me? I'm sure I don't know what you ...Oh, alright! Did you hear that Sasuke-kun has a tattoo??"
"Of course I've already heard, Ino-pig! He's on my team, after all"
"Oh, I bet it's something manly! A lion! or a dragon!"
"HA! Not likely. It's probably some kind of snake..."
"More like it's from the Snake."
"Well, no one asked you, Naru- Wait. Does that mean you've seen it?"
"Uhhh, yeah... you mean you haven't, Sakura-chan?"
"What, you guys talking about Sasuke's tattoo? I thought everyone already knew about that."
"Shikamaru! UGH! Of course you'd know."
"Well, then, what is it??"
"Yeah, spill!"
"Jeez, it's really noth-"
"Aaah-dit-dit-dit! Oh, nooooo no, Shikamaru. If they haven't seen it, you shouldn't spoil it for them. Right, Kiba?"
"Whazzat?"
"Sasuke's special tattoo? You know...? That one?"
"Oh, dude! The one on his meat and potatoes? I can't fucking-"
"Shhhh, Kiba, goddamnit!!"
"NARUTO!"
"O-on his ...on his what? Sakura? Tell me they're not talking about-"
"His Tiny Elvis. His Ass Blaster. His Uterus Unicorn. I shit you not. All the way down. He must seriously be into pain to let Orochi-"
"Are you talking about Sasuke, again, Kiba? I'm starting to suspect an obsession..."
"Ahhh, Neji, c'mon. It's interesting! How many people do you know who summon with their splooge moose?"
"Indeed, Neji! It is truly original! Were I able to summon, I would most certainly want to display my tattoo, proudly, and would waggle it with youthful vigor at my opponents and exclaim so that they will fear the awesome power that is Danger, the one-eyed ranger!"
"Ugh, Lee. As much as I enjoy your endless euphemisms for Sasuke's dangling participle, I- Good morning, Hinata-sama."
"G-good morning. Please don't stop your conversation on my account. I enjoy hearing about Sasuke's m-morning muscle!"
"OH SHIT, HINATA!!! AHAHAHA!! I think I may lo- Ow, ow, Sakura-chan, ow..."
"WHAT THE HELL?!"
"Can it, billboard brow. He'll be here any minute, and, I don't know about you, but I'm not going to be the last one to have seen Vlad the Impaler... Shikamaru?"
"I know, I know. God, you're a pain, woman..."
"That's hardly fair, Shikamaru. You shouldn't use your shadow bind just to see a pump-action yogurt rifle with a summoning tattoo..."
"I know. I'm not proud of it, but it's the only thing that gives us a fighting chance, Chouji."
"Oh."
"Yyyyeah. Naruto: Operation Excalibur on three."
"Ready!"
"Yyyyyyyyyoooooooooooosh!!!"
"One..."
"He... he can't do a fireball without his hands... can he?"
"Don't be stupid, Inuzuka. Of course not."
"Go-Godaime!"
"Nara-kun, don't abandon your comrades on my account. Your target at 50 kilometers is growing suspicious."
"Ahaha! You perverted old hag!"
"God, the women in this town... Two!"
"Ino! Stop bouncing, oh my god! You're going to dislocate my shoulder!"
"THREE!"
"Ehehe, good morning, Sasuke, you complete asshole. We've been waiting for you..."
~***~
"NYAAAAHHH!!!!!!!11eleventy!1"
"Ever dramatic, Sasuke-kun. You're late. Orochimaru-sama was expecting you at the summoning altar by 7, and it's nearly half-past, so I suggest you get up."
"..."
"You should be getting your tattoo, today. I know you must be excited..."
~End~