[Persona 4] The Story of How Souji Got a Really Great Rack, Pt. 1
Title: The Story of How Souji Got a Really Great Rack
Fandom: Persona 4
Parts: 1/? ( 1, 2, 3)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Possible Souji/Yosuke
Contains: humor/crack, genderswap
The Story of How Souji Got a Really Great Rack
There were a number of ways you could choose to react to the daily trials of the TV world. The first and most obvious one was to go thoroughly insane, and there was something to be said about mental stamina after the third time of being drenched in the oh-god-I-hope-it's-just-saliva excretions of a neon-striped floating ball with a pair of nightmarish lips that might or might not be the portal to another dimension.
The second was to console yourself with the idea that it was all just a really, really screwed up dream wherein the ecstatic gyrations of a giant faceless poledancer could actually hurt you, but that didn't work so well when facing down these things had almost become a routine exercise.
The third and by far most effective one was to find the next vertical surface and proceed to bash your head in. Which just happened to be the option Yosuke was looking into at the moment.
"Hm," Rise said, Kanzeon's visor slowly disintegrating around her eyes. "I really don't know what to do about this. If it's a spell, I can't locate it... you read just fine to me, Sempai. Apart from. Well. Sorry."
"It's okay, really. Don't worry about it," Souji assured her, as calm and collected as if it were happening to someone else.
And it should have been happening to someone else, Yosuke thought guiltily, except if it had been him, he would have been screaming that the Earth had left its customary orbit and was falling into the sun at a million kilometers per hour, not holding his shirt together with one hand and giving Rise consoling pats on the shoulder with the other.
"Well, simple techniques are usually the best solutions," Chie said. "How about Patra?"
"We tried that," Yukiko sighed. "All of them. Nothing works."
"Maybe sempai can't undo it himself?"
"But none of us have..." Yukiko paused, reached over, and shook Teddie out of his stupor. "Stop gaping and try Amrita! Maybe the all-purpose one will stick."
It took two tries for Teddie to even call forth his persona, and after four failed attempts at casting Amrita, he gave up.
"You're not even trying," Chie said, hands on her hips and rapidly losing her patience with Teddie's moon-eyed gazing.
"I can't help it, okay?" Teddie sniffed, unable to use the fake hurt to its full effect in the face of the... situation. "I mean, who'd want them to disappear? They're sensei-tional!"
"One more pun, and I swear I'm going to turn you into a bathroom mat," Kanji growled, determinedly staring at an indefinite point on the sparkling walls of the strip club.
Naoto, who was the only one apart from Souji and Teddie who hadn't dissolved into a frantic, worried mess, pinched the bridge of her nose. "Arguing about it isn't going to get us anywhere. If we can't determine the cause, it may be a timed effect that's going to dissipate sooner or later."
Yosuke lifted his head from the sizable indentation in the wall. "You aren't seriously going to suggest we just sit around and wait this out."
"At this point, I don't see another option. If we just try spells at random, there is a good chance we could, in fact, make it worse. If Sempai's feeling fine, otherwise..." She looked towards Souji for confirmation.
"I'm alright," Souji said. "Just a bit... tingly, if that means anything. If we gate out now, we could probably still hit the general store."
"Good idea," Chie said. "The old lady sells all kinds of crazy remedies. Maybe one of those will-"
"Are you insane?!" Yosuke snapped, turning around and immediately regretting it. He fumbled for a moment, trying to remember what he'd meant to object to and how to breathe without sounding like he was wheezing. "I. You. I mean, we. We can't go out like that! Half of Inaba knows us! Actually, half of Inaba knows you. How on Earth are we going to explain this?!"
Souji thought for a moment, before returning his gaze to his newly buttonless shirt. "Well, we can't stay here forever. For one, I'm going to need a bra."
-possibly TBC-
---
A/N: There is no refund for broken brains. I was resisting just naming it the story of How Souji Got a Really Great Rack. Clearly this means I'm going to have to write Rise squealing over all the bikinis she can finally make Sempai wear. XD
Go to Part 2?>>
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Fandom: Persona 4
Parts: 1/? ( 1, 2, 3)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Possible Souji/Yosuke
Contains: humor/crack, genderswap
The Story of How Souji Got a Really Great Rack
There were a number of ways you could choose to react to the daily trials of the TV world. The first and most obvious one was to go thoroughly insane, and there was something to be said about mental stamina after the third time of being drenched in the oh-god-I-hope-it's-just-saliva excretions of a neon-striped floating ball with a pair of nightmarish lips that might or might not be the portal to another dimension.
The second was to console yourself with the idea that it was all just a really, really screwed up dream wherein the ecstatic gyrations of a giant faceless poledancer could actually hurt you, but that didn't work so well when facing down these things had almost become a routine exercise.
The third and by far most effective one was to find the next vertical surface and proceed to bash your head in. Which just happened to be the option Yosuke was looking into at the moment.
"Hm," Rise said, Kanzeon's visor slowly disintegrating around her eyes. "I really don't know what to do about this. If it's a spell, I can't locate it... you read just fine to me, Sempai. Apart from. Well. Sorry."
"It's okay, really. Don't worry about it," Souji assured her, as calm and collected as if it were happening to someone else.
And it should have been happening to someone else, Yosuke thought guiltily, except if it had been him, he would have been screaming that the Earth had left its customary orbit and was falling into the sun at a million kilometers per hour, not holding his shirt together with one hand and giving Rise consoling pats on the shoulder with the other.
"Well, simple techniques are usually the best solutions," Chie said. "How about Patra?"
"We tried that," Yukiko sighed. "All of them. Nothing works."
"Maybe sempai can't undo it himself?"
"But none of us have..." Yukiko paused, reached over, and shook Teddie out of his stupor. "Stop gaping and try Amrita! Maybe the all-purpose one will stick."
It took two tries for Teddie to even call forth his persona, and after four failed attempts at casting Amrita, he gave up.
"You're not even trying," Chie said, hands on her hips and rapidly losing her patience with Teddie's moon-eyed gazing.
"I can't help it, okay?" Teddie sniffed, unable to use the fake hurt to its full effect in the face of the... situation. "I mean, who'd want them to disappear? They're sensei-tional!"
"One more pun, and I swear I'm going to turn you into a bathroom mat," Kanji growled, determinedly staring at an indefinite point on the sparkling walls of the strip club.
Naoto, who was the only one apart from Souji and Teddie who hadn't dissolved into a frantic, worried mess, pinched the bridge of her nose. "Arguing about it isn't going to get us anywhere. If we can't determine the cause, it may be a timed effect that's going to dissipate sooner or later."
Yosuke lifted his head from the sizable indentation in the wall. "You aren't seriously going to suggest we just sit around and wait this out."
"At this point, I don't see another option. If we just try spells at random, there is a good chance we could, in fact, make it worse. If Sempai's feeling fine, otherwise..." She looked towards Souji for confirmation.
"I'm alright," Souji said. "Just a bit... tingly, if that means anything. If we gate out now, we could probably still hit the general store."
"Good idea," Chie said. "The old lady sells all kinds of crazy remedies. Maybe one of those will-"
"Are you insane?!" Yosuke snapped, turning around and immediately regretting it. He fumbled for a moment, trying to remember what he'd meant to object to and how to breathe without sounding like he was wheezing. "I. You. I mean, we. We can't go out like that! Half of Inaba knows us! Actually, half of Inaba knows you. How on Earth are we going to explain this?!"
Souji thought for a moment, before returning his gaze to his newly buttonless shirt. "Well, we can't stay here forever. For one, I'm going to need a bra."
-possibly TBC-
---
A/N: There is no refund for broken brains. I was resisting just naming it the story of How Souji Got a Really Great Rack. Clearly this means I'm going to have to write Rise squealing over all the bikinis she can finally make Sempai wear. XD
Go to Part 2?>>
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