Love In An Elevator

[off_coloratura]

PRESENTED FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION:

The Winter Soldier Elevator Fight:

Standard Action-Movie Fight Scene, or MASSIVE HOMOEROTIC GANGBANG?

Comments

[tencrush]

HOLY CRAP, THIS IS SO SCIENTIFIC. I shall take my time and do a peer review. (This has clinched it, by the way, I'm going again today, I just can't not.)

The way the bottom curve of Steve's.shield hits the top of his arse in this and several other shots in this film surely deserves an Oscar for Best Arse Direction or some such. The scene itself shall more than likely take the MTV Movie Award for Best Gangbang, which I am certain is a category this year. I can't help but think that a porn version of this scene, with cock, is already out there somewhere, but it will never be as good or as pornographic as the original.

This face

[tencrush]

Tiny cock.

[off_coloratura]

Not a fucking flaw, in my book.

[tencrush]

Actually, my headcanon is that scrawny Steve had a pretty big cock, which is why he never ran away from a fight. Unfortunately, post-serum Steve therefore has a cock that's so massive as to render it practically useless. Now when he gets an erection the lack of blood to his brain makes him pass out. That's his flaw, and the reason he's still a virgin.

[off_coloratura]

I love this.

[tencrush]

It is the truth.

[off_coloratura]

Poor sad virgin. All those gymnastics gone to waste.

[tencrush]

Yeah. Sigh.

[ooshiny]

Oh my god. Yes.

[ooshiny]

(that's what she said)

[tencrush]

It makes sense to me, and that's all that matters.

[off_coloratura]

Also: Did you notice how priest-y his collar looks?

[tencrush]

I would like to bow down and kiss the costume department. This uniform is strangely virtuous and virginal looking with the collar and the silver and the muted matte blue (nothing shiny on Steve, ever, not even the silver which is the unshiniest silver you could possibly get without being grey), while at the same time, with all the straps and the emphasis on his physique, overtly physically and sexually threatening. It's SO FUCKING HOT IT'S NOT EVEN FAIR.

[off_coloratura]

Much is being made on Tumblr about his shoulder to waist ratio. GUH.

And I'm absolutely POSITIVE that they've padded out his shoulders big time in that costume to make the waist look extra small, but that is not to diminish his incredible physique. We see him in a t-shirt and it's just as magnificent. Frankly, I don't know if he could look any more comic-book perfect, with that tiny waist, if he were digitally altered. God only knows how many hours in the gym gave him that body. But the women (and men) of the world thank him for it.

And yeah, it being all covered up and strapped in just makes you want to rip it off. That's the art of the tease.

[tencrush]

He is indeed a specimen. Even when he's smaller, his proportions are pretty much perfect, he just has a reasonably small waist.

I read an interview with Evans somewhere that said they do all these t-shirt shots and stuff first because he starts rapidly shedding weight and bulk as soon as he's in that costume for any length of time. It can't be healthy, but I suppose while he can still get away with it, he should use it to his advantage. Man, did he get bulky, and also FUCKING FIT, for this one. Allegedly in three months.

[off_coloratura]

Yeah, I bet being in that costume would make you sweat off the pounds pretty quickly. And if you're standing around on a movie set all day you can't spend those hours at the gym keeping the muscle on.

I'm sure it's possible for a fit guy in his thirties with a personal trainer and free time to get to that level of OMG, but holy cow it must have been a lot of work.