So, I had a review on ffnet that made me wonder.

[of_anoesis]

It wasn't a nasty review, by any stretch. I was just someone giving their opinion about how Severus Snape would act. An opinion which was was different to my own - shock horror - but the examples they used...

They said: "I can see Snape as a spy, I can see him as a killer, I can see him writing sonnets to Lily and then tossing them in the

Comments

[ex_logospil]

I think people are full of surprises, including Professor Snape...

I can imagine him swearing. I can imagine him not swearing.

But I think he probably does. Especially under his breath, while correcting essays or brewing ;-)

[of_anoesis]

I'm glad I asked this question! So many good answers :)

I've come to the conclusion that if you've developed your Snape character beyond what appears in the books (which is amazingly little, considering the impact he had), then it all depends on that development.

Love the idea of him swearing beneath his breath over essays. Longbottom's, no doubt.

[jenidralph]

Love the idea of him swearing beneath his breath over essays. Longbottom's, no doubt.

.. or Miss Granger's novel-length essays. ;)

[ex_logospil]

~or Miss Granger's novel-length essays. ;)~

*laughs*

That is a whole special category of swearing right there ;-)

[melusin_79]

As he's someone who has to have his wits about him all the time, I can't imagine him doing anything that would make him out of control like getting legless or taking drugs (not while Voldemort was alive anyway). Can't imagine how he'd get by without a good swear though, seeing what he has to go through on a daily basis.

[of_anoesis]

*nods* there have been studies into how swearing and shouting help increase pain thresholds and increase tolerance to stress (one brilliant one involved Stephen Fry and Brian Blessed), so I can see it being a necessary release.

I'm really enjoying all these answers! Loss of control could have been fatal for him... He lets himself lose emotional control on a couple of occasions, mostly around Harry, but he never gives anything away - other than his opinion on James Potter. Hmm. Lots of thinky thoughts!

[mimimanderly]

Oooo... yes! That IS a good one! We read fanfic all the time where he gets absolutely shit-faced drunk, but I really don't think he would have done that while Voldy was alive. Think on it: His life --and the war itself -- depended on him keeping his wits about him. The first thing to go when you're drunk is judgement. He would not drink to excess, if at all. Maybe he'd sip a little to not look like he's hiding something.

[jenidralph]

Well, as a poster child for "good girl", I never swear. I mean, it's just rude.

As for what I think Severus would never do?

* Carry a pink parasol
* Paint his face and chest in Gryffindor colors and ride a lion into a quidditch match
* Keep a 200 foot long scorpion as a pet
* Molest a child
* Enter a cricket-spitting competition
* Fall in love with a Marauder (apologies to those who ship that way, but I just can't see it)
* Purchase feminine sanitary products
* Get a nose job

Oh, as to whether or not he would swear...?

Fuck yeah, he would!

[of_anoesis]

Well, I'm glad we had a good girl on hand to give us her honest fucking opinion... I mean... dammit!

cricket spitting competition? Oh, tell me those are real!

[jenidralph]

Unfortunately, they are. My mom's church has a "Harvest Festival" in lieu of a Halloween party. They had one. The kids loved it.

I nearly lost my lunch when my niece entered... and won!

It's fucking disgusting. :P

[of_anoesis]

.....

....I think you may have to explain the rules to me...

[teddyradiator]

Um, he's Mancunian, or at least Northern...his dad was a millrat. He is my age, and he would have listened to the Sex Pistols and Ian Dury and the Stranglers and he would have been a Manc boy. Yeah, he would swear. Oh fuck yes, he would swear. I think it's practically on the school curriculum

[of_anoesis]

I can go either way with smoking. Much of my Snape headcanon is based on my experiences of men of that age in this country. I've not lived in Manchester, but I've known similar, dying towns on the Yorkshire side. The men all smoked, they all drank. Most of them were unconsciously sexist and had dodgy tattoos. I won't allow Snape to be sexist, but otherwise, I can see him doing all the other things... if the character development in the story allows it.

Oddly, all I can see is naked Snape doing the willy dance. Dammit, Teddy!

I'm with you on most of those. I can occasionally see slash tendencies, but they have to be incredibly well written. I can never see him with Harry *ducks* He loved Lily, whatever he found wouldn't be love. It would be like when Sirius calls Harry James. Unconscious substitution.

Kids swear to fit in and seem older. Snape was befriended by Lucius - he would have had an awful lot of older-seeming to do.

I think.

Ooh, there's so much to think about!

[teddyradiator]

I know what you mean about the Northern men. It's very possible Snape would have been a smoker. Again, that's a personal yuck with me, and one that is probably the most likely he would do. I just don't want him to! ;)

Slash to me has to be under very strange circumstances. Harry? Oh, hell no. *shudders*. I think if he had sex with anyone, it would be with someone more like himself. That's why I've never had any problem with slashing Snape with Filch. I know I'm way in the minority here nowadays, but I just think of him as straight all the way, really.

Now Harry and Draco? I think they would go at one another like rabid bunnies.

[jenidralph]

Perhaps he smoked in his youth but gave it up... like other stupid choices he chose to fix as he aged. ;)

[mundungus42]

The reviewer is not only lame for complaining about something that is obviously a taste thing, but also dead wrong. Of course Snape swears, given his background (I love Teddy's headcanon that Snape uses filthy language in bed).

Y'know, since the HP world has the Imperius curse and magic, I'm going to safely say that there's nothing that you can't have Snape do. I don't think he'd appreciate being made to sing karaoke, though. Or hanging a spoon on his nose.

[of_anoesis]

Yay for swearing Snape! As arynwy cleverly pointed out, he says mudblood in the books, and that's a swear, even if it is a rubbish one.

The imperius curse would be the best OOC fic disclaimer ever.

[jenidralph]

*giggles* It would have to be a serving spoon.

*ducks*

[mimimanderly]

A spoon??!! You could hand an entire LADLE off that honker!