I suppose all of you think this is very funny. Don't imagine that I haven't heard you. Don't think that I don't know. My only consolation is that I will be gone in the morning and that I shall never return ( Read more... )

Headmaster, I should like to request a private audience with you. At your earliest convenience.

It may be true, Lovegood, that many of your classmates are too incompetent to operate a knife and fork, much less properly utilise extract of leelander rib. However, that is no reason for you to get a swelled head ( Read more... )

Mister Malfoy ( Read more... )

If I am not mistaken--and I am not--two Hufflepuffs are currently having some sort of childish brawl right outside my Potions classroom. I cannot be bothered to get up and separate the two of them, for I am marking third-year essays, but I will be most put out if the imbeciles bleed all over the hallway. Fifty points from Hufflepuff for each ( Read more... )

Mister Finch-Fletchley. Are you or are you not aware that Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is a live-in institution ( Read more... )

Weasley, I insist that you divulge the contents of this parcel at once.

Longbottom. It has regrettably come to my attention that you wish to occupy even more of my valuable time and energy than the usual amount you squander during Potions. I can only hold my breath in anticipation of your insightful and well-reasoned questions ( Read more... )

An Open Letter to the Students of Hogwarts.

It strikes me that if you were as organised about studying as you obviously were about protesting a pointless sport, there would be no wizarding crisis whatsoever.

To my students ( Read more... )