Title: Overheard
Author: Astra
Fandom: Gorgeous Carat
Characters/Pairing: Ray, Florian, two original female characters
Disclaimer: Gorgeous Carat belongs to You Higuri.
Summary: At a party in Paris, the year 1901, two ladies catch up on the
latest gossip.
Challenge: July 2007 - fic BINGO
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Comments 19
The only thing that disturbed me at first, and I see your reason for doing it, is the beginning dialogue seems a bit too chopped full of information. I don't think we really need to know about the invitation not arriving and all of that (though it almost hints that she wasn't really invited, but it doesn't seem relevant to the story). It sort of makes the story drag in the beginning when you need to catch the reader the most. I do enjoy the entire America routine which leads nicely into the main section of the story, but I think you could cut the invitation bit.
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Of course I had to laugh at the way they spoke of America, and the way they were so hypocritical.
It was a fun piece to read, the style and setting compliment nicely.
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I'm not familiar with the fandom, but this works great on its own. Interesting and lovely. I enjoyed it a lot.
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[dies] That really set the tone for this piece.
The all-dialogue format was fantastic. I don't know the characters so I can't tell if they are IC but I can definitely pick out the distinctive voices.
Now I have to check this out.
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I've got a Gorgeous Carat fandom summary on my lj with links if you want some overview info and pointers to some wonderful fanfic (it's a tiny but growing fandom). It's only a 4 volume series with a 1-volume follow-up so it's not a huge investment if you want to try the manga.
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