coming in to say that i am 28 and still the same, falling apart, longing, insecure, reworking, waiting, dreaming, worrying, living, breathing 

I need a break from being me.

always seems like your worst self is the self that sticks forever. the self that people will remember, because people don't really change, or people don't believe that other people change. that's why i've never managed to forgive myself.

what happens when I'm perfectly content to always be staring into your eyes
?

it's difficult when you create for yourself a personal mythology that you swear you have to live up to
i am my own myth 

it's a weird feeling to see greg next to bennett, to always see my best friends gathered in circles talking and laughing and drinking - to see the two people who knew me the best in the same place, except all the arguments and bad blood dissolved. negative energy that really only came about because i caused it. i wonder where my place in all this ( Read more... )

too many feels.... too many feels.... i need to keep knitting tulle sweaters... keep going on......... peeling off my skin again and again and again and again

I can't handle nostalgia, I can't handle my emotions... The longer ago, the darker the place, the foggier the memory, the more wretched I feel. And like this I keep all my split lives afloat, one thread branching into thousands and thousands of millifibers, spinerettes spinning and spinning on, it's my own imagination that I live for

House positions (Placidus ( Read more... )

“The liar may resist confrontation, denying that she lied. Or she may use other language: forgetfulness, privacy, the protection of someone else. Or, she may bravely declare herself a coward. This allows her to go on lying, since that is what cowards do. She does not say, I was afraid, since this would open the question of other ways of handling ( Read more... )