White Noise, Chapter 1

[nyxelestia]

Title: White Noise
Rating: R (overall fic), PG-13 (this chapter)
Summary: Keller took Elizabeth, and Neal will do anything it takes to get her back.
Word Count: 3,000 (this chapter)
Warnings/Content: language, mentions of kidnapping (this chapter); kidnapping, abuse/violence (overall fic)
Beta: None :( - if you’re interested in beta’ing, let me

Comments

[nyxelestia]

I'm glad you like it!

In India right now and barely have enough time to reply to reviews letalone write, but once I get back home I'd love to talk shop and get the ball rolling, if your offer is still open by then. :)

[dreamsofspike]

This is very, very good :) Very much in character, very true to how i think peter and moz and everyone would react... very much looking forward to more of this :)

[nyxelestia]

It'll be a while until I post again, but when I do, I hope you enjoy it. :)

[castalie]

Damn, it felt like I was watching an actual episode, your characterisation is spot on. Very good start! I'm looking forward to reading the rest. Even if you end up being jossed by the time you post it all ;-)

[nyxelestia]

I'm pretty sure it's all jossed already, and I won't be able to post the next chapter for another two weeks at least! I'm glad you like it, and I hope you enjoy future installments. :)

[hpstrangelove]

I really liked this. You've got their voices down. I can feel the tension in the air.

[nyxelestia]

Glad you like it. :) Thank you for commenting! ^_^

[elrhiarhodan]

This is wonderful and I can't wait for the next part - you've really captured not only the characters' voices, but their thought processes as well.

Tonight's premier should only be half as good as this!

(Just one small correction though - Diana is still a fairly junior agent, and Clinton has at least 8 years seniority - she wouldn't be put in charge. Likely everyone on Peter's team would report to Hughes.)

[nyxelestia]

I'm glad you like the characters, and the fic! But let's hope the premier was better, anyway. :) (Ah, please don't actually tell me whether or not it was, I look forward to finding out myself in three weeks)

And - wasn't Diana with Peter the first time they were chasing Neal several years ago? Or am I just getting mixed up with Peter deciding to confide in her whenever things got dicey with Neal? I got the feeling she'd already been with Peter for a long time in the pilot before she was temporarily replaced with Cruz.

But, thank you for letting me know - I've found a way to handle it in the next chapter, which hopefully won't bend the legal issues anymore than White Collar itself does...

*recognizes futility of statement*

*goes boldly forth anyway*

[elrhiarhodan]

While Diana was part of Peter's team when they were after Neal, originally, she was the rawest of probationary agents. And actually - the writers really messed with the timeline. An newly minted FBI agent has a 2-year probationary period, but for some reason, Diana had over twice that. We know that because Neal was finishing a 4-year prison sentence when he escaped in Pilot and Peter identified her as his "probie".

Jones, on the other hand, was out of his probationary period long enough to choose an assignment - early during the time that Peter was after Neal (in fact, the day that Adler ran off with his client's money) - Jones approached Peter about a position within his newly formed task force. Jones probably has close to 10 years in the Bureau.

I still love your fic! And won't say ANYTHING about the premier.

[nyxelestia]

Hmm, what scene/episode was Jones asking this in? All this time I'd pretty much assumed they had the same seniority, just in different branches/offices, and that Diana has overall been around longer as Peter chose to confide in her about the music box, and later about the treasure. If there's established canon I'll go with it, but if this based off what the writers did without stating anything, then I might just create some head canon to go with it, considering how much protocol and law bending they do (the Vital Signs is one of my favorite episodes, but also the most unrealistic, considering all the stuff they did to get the evidence would make it all inadmissiable in court, and may even get them all tossed back in prison!).

Glad you still like it. :) And thank you! It's killing me, not being able to watch anything.