Primogeniture - Chapter 03: Laid Bare
Title: Primogeniture
Summary: Merlin is happy to dedicate his life and soul to Arthur when he comes to Camelot, even though he knows the dragon is wrong, and Arthur will never be king. How can he be, when he is the second son?
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2300
Pairings/Character: Arthur/Merlin, OMC
Warnings/Content: violence, non-con, dub-con, (forced) intoxication, (possible) incest
Beta: none
Notes: Epically late Episode 308 Review is epically late :( so I give you fic to make up for it! :D
~*~ Master Post
<< Previous Chapter
It was with a detached manner, a few minutes later, that Merlin watched as Arthur slowly got up and backed away from Merlin after he had explained...everything.
"You lied to me?!" Arthur hissed in horror, betrayal rampant in his eyes.
"I had no choice!" Merlin cried out. He couldn't deal with this, not this, not now. "I...you...you're Uther's son, what was I supposed to do? Supposed to think?"
Arthur didn't seem to hear him. "I trusted you! You! You, of all people! I...why...why?!" His good arm was held out in front of him defensively, even as he leaned against the bedpost in exhaustion.
"I was scared," Merlin said. "How was I supposed to know whether or not I would live? I still don't know!"
"You think I value our friendship so little?" Arthur said, voice deep in anger.
"...no," Merlin said. "I think you value your father's pride enough to turn in the sorcerer who has hidden in the heart of Camelot for over a year."
Arthur turned away sharply, but not before Merlin saw how Arthur's eyes shone with the burden of too much weighing on his heart.
There was silence. Lots of it. The fire was dying, and for lack of anything better to do, Merlin went to add in another log to warm the room a little more.
"Leave," Arthur said. "Just...get out."
He seemed to ask that of Merlin quite a bit.
"I'll..." Merlin didn't know what to say, and instead, he just left.
~*~
The next morning, Arthur glared at him when he walked in with his breakfast. Merlin, having no idea as to what else to do, had simply fallen back on routine.
"Do you have any sense of self preservation, Merlin?" Arthur asked. "At all?"
"Er...no?" Merlin said.
Arthur just turned and stared, breathing, before turning away again to lean in the window like he always did when he was thinking. He liked to watch his city while thinking. "Last night, you told me...how you healed me. I want to know every instance of magic you've done in Camelot, every time you've used magic since you came here."
"Okay..." Merlin said, taking a deep breath. He could do this. Just...talk. Talking. He was good at that (no matter what Arthur said otherwise). "Well, all the big things-"
"I said every instance, Merlin."
"Most of my magic is for chores, and it's small, I don't remember every instance!" Merlin protested.
Arthur snorted, turning to face Merlin again. "Figures you'd be a sorcerer just to to be lazy with your chores-"
"Oi!" Merlin cried out, forgetting their fall out and fight and all that. "Magic is hard! It's not lazing about for me to use magic for the chores, just me speeding things up! I have to use it to get by because I have so much to do!"
"So much to do?!" Arthur said,
"I'm your servant, and I'm Gaius's assistant! Not to mention, I'm always saving your arse and protecting you-"
"Protecting me?!" Arthur cried out incredulously. "How can you protect me? You can barely lift a sword! You're a walking twig!"
"I don't need a sword, and I'm not a walking twig! And even if I were, I'm a walking twig that can do magic!"
Arthur's face fell from his customary expression of banter, and silence took over as they came back to the crux of the problem.
"...protecting me?" he repeated, this time simply asking rather than...well, asking without believing.
"Yes," Merlin said. "The big stuff. You have a bad habit of attracting the attention of powerful magical things."
Arthur sighed, before sitting down at the table before his breakfast. He gestured for Merlin to sit on the bed, and said, "Begin, then."
With a sigh, Merlin did. He started with how he was born with magic, how he grew up with magic - how Will wasn't a sorcerer - and how he ended up coming to Camelot.
How the first thing he saw was someone being executed for using magic for their crops, how he became the servant to the king's son by accident.
And while he skipped over the dragon's words of destiny for now, he did mention it, it's "help", and he described everything he'd helped with and been through, Valiant, the Afanc, the poison, Lancelot, Edwin, Sophia, Mordred, the Black Knight, Ealdor, the unicorn...he also nearly skipped over Morgana's involvement with Tauren, but couldn't find a way to do it, so he sped right through it, and ended with his explanation of what happened with the Questing Beast from the night before.
Arthur initially didn't respond. When he saw Merlin was finished, he turned to his breakfast and never once looked up from it as he ate his way through it. Merlin fidgeted as usual. Arthur only looked up when a small growl came from Merlin's stomach.
He raised an eyebrow.
"I was nervous," Merlin murmured, ducking his head.
"When did you last eat?"
"Er..."
"Merlin," Arthur said, voice suddenly tinged with concern.
"Does it matter?" Merlin tried to distract him with. "It's not like dying will be any better if I have a full stomach when I'm executed-"
"Is that what you think?" Arthur demanded. Merlin suddenly found his face being tilted up with Arthur's good hand and being made to face him. Arthur had an oddly determined look on his face.
"How should I know? How should I get to choose for you between your loyalty to your father and your friendship with me?"
Arthur swallowed and jerked his hand back, before looking back down at his platter and asking quietly again, monotone, "When did you last eat?"
Merlin tried to remember. "That...is actually a good question."
Arthur's head snapped up, startled, and Merlin looked down at his hands. "I'm not hungry."
"Your stomach begs to differ."
"My stomach still doesn't get it's impending doom," Merlin said. "I think...breakfast, yesterday? It was an apple...before that, I had a piece of bread for dinner...you and Madog sort of took up my time."
Arthur let out an oddly distressed noise, and Merlin looked up in time to see Arthur shove his plate towards Merlin. "Eat, you idiot!"
Merlin shook his head, shutting his eyes. "I'm really...I can't. I'll puke it back up in minutes."
Arthur sounded distressed again, before suddenly pushing himself to standing in anger and pacing about his room again.
"You really are an idiot!" he finally cried out. "Because...Camelot, of all the places to go to!"
Merlin had already told Arthur why he came to Camelot, so he said nothing.
When Arthur just continued pacing silently, Merlin, unable to just sit there anymore, got up and started tidying up, like always. Arthur kept a close eye on him, but Merlin went on as normal. For the most part, he cleaned Arthur's room by hand, anyway, only using magic if he was in a desperate rush of some kind, so he had no problems doing it all, right now.
He heard a sigh come from Arthur's direction, behind him.
"I knew it was too good to be true," Arthur muttered as he continued to pace.
"What?" Merlin asked, trying for conversational.
"Love," Arthur said. "That time with Sophia - it was all an enchantment."
Merlin froze.
"Merlin?"
Swallowing resolutely, Merlin turned around and said, "No. That wasn't love, that wasn't even like love!"
Arthur gave him an intense look that made Merlin want to curl into himself like burning parchment, but he held his ground. "Love isn't like that, at all - Sophia, or what you've gone through with the other nobles, or that laundry maid. It's...I'm sorry you've never had anything like it, and I hope one day you do. But your experiences aren't love, and don't mix them up for it."
The prince sighed. "Doubtful, Merlin...not only is love false, but I really am useless - you have been helping me all this time! What's there to fall in love with?"
Merlin gaped at him. "...you cannot be serious!" he shouted.
Arthur gave him an odd look.
"You...you...clotpoll!" Merlin shouted. "My 'help' is only to make sure other sorcerers don't get an unfair advantage, one no man can fight against! You did that all on your own! And there's plenty inside you to love, so much, and that...that you need to ask, is...is wrong!"
"Tell me, Merlin, what exactly about me is there of interest?" Arthur demanded, leaning on his bedpost.
"You're brave," Merlin said, slowly walking forward towards Arthur. "You're loyal. You're noble. You care about people, people who no one else gives a damn about. You believe in fighting for everyone, not just nobleman. You believe in allowing people to rise on their merit, rather than their blood. You manage to love despite all the...all the not-love you're surrounded in. You care enough about life to defy your father and your brother for your servant. You...you're amazing Arthur. You're an amazing person, Arthur, and well worth all the love in the world."
By now, he had stopped in front of Arthur, so close, barely enough room to breathe between them. Merlin knew he should step away, but he couldn't.
Considering how this morning had started, Merlin wasn't entirely sure how it was that right now, he was the one standing with self-assurance before a vulnerable Arthur. It didn't make much sense, really. But here he was, in Arthur's personal space, as Arthur himself kept his gaze fixed on Merlin's chin, his nose, his forehead - anywhere but his eyes.
Merlin brought his hand up and cradled Arthur's cheek, slightly, Arthur shut his eyes as if in pain and leaned into the touch.
"You really are brilliant," Merlin said, smiling, trying to coax one out of Arthur. "You didn't hear it from me, because your head is too big already, but you're brilliant."
It was small, barely there, and the glimmer in his eyes was dim, but Arthur smiled and answered, "Of course I am." Merlin decided not to point out the lack of conviction. "Merlin...do you...find me...that is...do you..."
His eyes were almost desperate.
"Do I love you?" Merlin asked quietly.
Arthur slowly nodded, his cheek rubbing against Merlin's palm.
Merlin smiled. "Yes."
Arthur shut his eyes with a pained look. "Why?" he asked hoarsely. "I'm the son of the man, the second son of the king, who hunts and persecutes your kind. I have nothing to give you, and loving me could get you killed! Why?!"
"Because you're worth it," Merlin said, bringing his face close to Arthur's, until the very tips of their noses were brushing.
"Are you sure about that?" Arthur murmured quietly. Merlin could feel the warm breath ghosting across his lips.
"Of course I am," Merlin said, his other hand reaching to wrap loosely around Arthur's hip. "You're Arthur, and that's all I need - that you be you."
"I'm broken," Arthur murmured.
"I don't care," Merlin said, tightening his grasp around Arthur's body, pressing their chests flush, and suddenly, he was sneaking a hug, pulling Arthur close and wrapping his arms around him. Arthur pressed his face into Merlin's shoulder.
"You have the power of life and death and the earth and the Old Religion inside of you," Arthur asked, his hands remaining limp. "You can have anything. Why me?"
"Like I said, because you're you," Merlin said. "The dragon...I'm fairly sure it was lying, but it tried to tell me that you were destined to be king with me at your side."
Arthur stiffened, and Merlin hurriedly added, "I think it was just a lie. But even if you're only ever prince, you will always look after and care for Camelot. And I will always be at your side."
He shivered just once, his lips pressing against Merlin's neck now, and his hand wrapped around Merlin's waist, too. Merlin pulled back a little, bringing his hands up to frame Arthur's face gently as he asked, "May I?", his lips only a hair's breadth form Arthur's.
"I," Arthur said, unsure. "I don't...I can't..."
"I don't want anything else, Arthur," Merlin said. "Just you. Just a kiss. Just whatever you want, even if that's nothing at all."
Arthur nodded and suddenly, Merlin found his lips pressed against those of the Prince of Camelot's, wrapped in each other's embrace. Arthur whimpered into Merlin's mouth, eyes fluttering shut in confused pleasure, but Merlin gently shushed him.
"Just you," Merlin murmured against the flesh of Arthur's cheek when he finally turned his head away with shining eyes. "Just you.
~*~
Merlin came into Arthur's room several weeks later and set down the breakfast platter, turning to see Arthur sitting on his bed, already stretching his arm while holding his sword, bringing back the muscle power to his arm as he had over the last month since the injury.
"Ah, Merlin, there you are," Arthur said, looking up. "I'm to attend to my first hunt, today, since I was injured. Have you-"
"I prepared everything last night," Merlin said with a slight eyeroll.
Arthur gave him a shrewd, almost pointed, look, and Merlin sighed and took a seat next to Arthur. Ever since he found out about Merlin's magic, he made Merlin do chores inside the room with magic, taking interest in watching his things float around and work of their own accord.
He watched the stack of hunting supplies assemble and the clothes arrange themselves over the table and the food platter float over to hover in front of him.
Arthur idly picked off a hunk of bread, broke off a piece, and handed it to Merlin, and the two ate while watching the supplies finishing stacking up in neat order.
"Useful," Arthur said. It's been the first time he has said anything while watching Merlin's magic.
Merlin smiled. Coming from Arthur, that was high praise, indeed.
~*~
Next Chapter >>
Master Post
Summary: Merlin is happy to dedicate his life and soul to Arthur when he comes to Camelot, even though he knows the dragon is wrong, and Arthur will never be king. How can he be, when he is the second son?
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2300
Pairings/Character: Arthur/Merlin, OMC
Warnings/Content: violence, non-con, dub-con, (forced) intoxication, (possible) incest
Beta: none
Notes: Epically late Episode 308 Review is epically late :( so I give you fic to make up for it! :D
~*~ Master Post
<< Previous Chapter
It was with a detached manner, a few minutes later, that Merlin watched as Arthur slowly got up and backed away from Merlin after he had explained...everything.
"You lied to me?!" Arthur hissed in horror, betrayal rampant in his eyes.
"I had no choice!" Merlin cried out. He couldn't deal with this, not this, not now. "I...you...you're Uther's son, what was I supposed to do? Supposed to think?"
Arthur didn't seem to hear him. "I trusted you! You! You, of all people! I...why...why?!" His good arm was held out in front of him defensively, even as he leaned against the bedpost in exhaustion.
"I was scared," Merlin said. "How was I supposed to know whether or not I would live? I still don't know!"
"You think I value our friendship so little?" Arthur said, voice deep in anger.
"...no," Merlin said. "I think you value your father's pride enough to turn in the sorcerer who has hidden in the heart of Camelot for over a year."
Arthur turned away sharply, but not before Merlin saw how Arthur's eyes shone with the burden of too much weighing on his heart.
There was silence. Lots of it. The fire was dying, and for lack of anything better to do, Merlin went to add in another log to warm the room a little more.
"Leave," Arthur said. "Just...get out."
He seemed to ask that of Merlin quite a bit.
"I'll..." Merlin didn't know what to say, and instead, he just left.
~*~
The next morning, Arthur glared at him when he walked in with his breakfast. Merlin, having no idea as to what else to do, had simply fallen back on routine.
"Do you have any sense of self preservation, Merlin?" Arthur asked. "At all?"
"Er...no?" Merlin said.
Arthur just turned and stared, breathing, before turning away again to lean in the window like he always did when he was thinking. He liked to watch his city while thinking. "Last night, you told me...how you healed me. I want to know every instance of magic you've done in Camelot, every time you've used magic since you came here."
"Okay..." Merlin said, taking a deep breath. He could do this. Just...talk. Talking. He was good at that (no matter what Arthur said otherwise). "Well, all the big things-"
"I said every instance, Merlin."
"Most of my magic is for chores, and it's small, I don't remember every instance!" Merlin protested.
Arthur snorted, turning to face Merlin again. "Figures you'd be a sorcerer just to to be lazy with your chores-"
"Oi!" Merlin cried out, forgetting their fall out and fight and all that. "Magic is hard! It's not lazing about for me to use magic for the chores, just me speeding things up! I have to use it to get by because I have so much to do!"
"So much to do?!" Arthur said,
"I'm your servant, and I'm Gaius's assistant! Not to mention, I'm always saving your arse and protecting you-"
"Protecting me?!" Arthur cried out incredulously. "How can you protect me? You can barely lift a sword! You're a walking twig!"
"I don't need a sword, and I'm not a walking twig! And even if I were, I'm a walking twig that can do magic!"
Arthur's face fell from his customary expression of banter, and silence took over as they came back to the crux of the problem.
"...protecting me?" he repeated, this time simply asking rather than...well, asking without believing.
"Yes," Merlin said. "The big stuff. You have a bad habit of attracting the attention of powerful magical things."
Arthur sighed, before sitting down at the table before his breakfast. He gestured for Merlin to sit on the bed, and said, "Begin, then."
With a sigh, Merlin did. He started with how he was born with magic, how he grew up with magic - how Will wasn't a sorcerer - and how he ended up coming to Camelot.
How the first thing he saw was someone being executed for using magic for their crops, how he became the servant to the king's son by accident.
And while he skipped over the dragon's words of destiny for now, he did mention it, it's "help", and he described everything he'd helped with and been through, Valiant, the Afanc, the poison, Lancelot, Edwin, Sophia, Mordred, the Black Knight, Ealdor, the unicorn...he also nearly skipped over Morgana's involvement with Tauren, but couldn't find a way to do it, so he sped right through it, and ended with his explanation of what happened with the Questing Beast from the night before.
Arthur initially didn't respond. When he saw Merlin was finished, he turned to his breakfast and never once looked up from it as he ate his way through it. Merlin fidgeted as usual. Arthur only looked up when a small growl came from Merlin's stomach.
He raised an eyebrow.
"I was nervous," Merlin murmured, ducking his head.
"When did you last eat?"
"Er..."
"Merlin," Arthur said, voice suddenly tinged with concern.
"Does it matter?" Merlin tried to distract him with. "It's not like dying will be any better if I have a full stomach when I'm executed-"
"Is that what you think?" Arthur demanded. Merlin suddenly found his face being tilted up with Arthur's good hand and being made to face him. Arthur had an oddly determined look on his face.
"How should I know? How should I get to choose for you between your loyalty to your father and your friendship with me?"
Arthur swallowed and jerked his hand back, before looking back down at his platter and asking quietly again, monotone, "When did you last eat?"
Merlin tried to remember. "That...is actually a good question."
Arthur's head snapped up, startled, and Merlin looked down at his hands. "I'm not hungry."
"Your stomach begs to differ."
"My stomach still doesn't get it's impending doom," Merlin said. "I think...breakfast, yesterday? It was an apple...before that, I had a piece of bread for dinner...you and Madog sort of took up my time."
Arthur let out an oddly distressed noise, and Merlin looked up in time to see Arthur shove his plate towards Merlin. "Eat, you idiot!"
Merlin shook his head, shutting his eyes. "I'm really...I can't. I'll puke it back up in minutes."
Arthur sounded distressed again, before suddenly pushing himself to standing in anger and pacing about his room again.
"You really are an idiot!" he finally cried out. "Because...Camelot, of all the places to go to!"
Merlin had already told Arthur why he came to Camelot, so he said nothing.
When Arthur just continued pacing silently, Merlin, unable to just sit there anymore, got up and started tidying up, like always. Arthur kept a close eye on him, but Merlin went on as normal. For the most part, he cleaned Arthur's room by hand, anyway, only using magic if he was in a desperate rush of some kind, so he had no problems doing it all, right now.
He heard a sigh come from Arthur's direction, behind him.
"I knew it was too good to be true," Arthur muttered as he continued to pace.
"What?" Merlin asked, trying for conversational.
"Love," Arthur said. "That time with Sophia - it was all an enchantment."
Merlin froze.
"Merlin?"
Swallowing resolutely, Merlin turned around and said, "No. That wasn't love, that wasn't even like love!"
Arthur gave him an intense look that made Merlin want to curl into himself like burning parchment, but he held his ground. "Love isn't like that, at all - Sophia, or what you've gone through with the other nobles, or that laundry maid. It's...I'm sorry you've never had anything like it, and I hope one day you do. But your experiences aren't love, and don't mix them up for it."
The prince sighed. "Doubtful, Merlin...not only is love false, but I really am useless - you have been helping me all this time! What's there to fall in love with?"
Merlin gaped at him. "...you cannot be serious!" he shouted.
Arthur gave him an odd look.
"You...you...clotpoll!" Merlin shouted. "My 'help' is only to make sure other sorcerers don't get an unfair advantage, one no man can fight against! You did that all on your own! And there's plenty inside you to love, so much, and that...that you need to ask, is...is wrong!"
"Tell me, Merlin, what exactly about me is there of interest?" Arthur demanded, leaning on his bedpost.
"You're brave," Merlin said, slowly walking forward towards Arthur. "You're loyal. You're noble. You care about people, people who no one else gives a damn about. You believe in fighting for everyone, not just nobleman. You believe in allowing people to rise on their merit, rather than their blood. You manage to love despite all the...all the not-love you're surrounded in. You care enough about life to defy your father and your brother for your servant. You...you're amazing Arthur. You're an amazing person, Arthur, and well worth all the love in the world."
By now, he had stopped in front of Arthur, so close, barely enough room to breathe between them. Merlin knew he should step away, but he couldn't.
Considering how this morning had started, Merlin wasn't entirely sure how it was that right now, he was the one standing with self-assurance before a vulnerable Arthur. It didn't make much sense, really. But here he was, in Arthur's personal space, as Arthur himself kept his gaze fixed on Merlin's chin, his nose, his forehead - anywhere but his eyes.
Merlin brought his hand up and cradled Arthur's cheek, slightly, Arthur shut his eyes as if in pain and leaned into the touch.
"You really are brilliant," Merlin said, smiling, trying to coax one out of Arthur. "You didn't hear it from me, because your head is too big already, but you're brilliant."
It was small, barely there, and the glimmer in his eyes was dim, but Arthur smiled and answered, "Of course I am." Merlin decided not to point out the lack of conviction. "Merlin...do you...find me...that is...do you..."
His eyes were almost desperate.
"Do I love you?" Merlin asked quietly.
Arthur slowly nodded, his cheek rubbing against Merlin's palm.
Merlin smiled. "Yes."
Arthur shut his eyes with a pained look. "Why?" he asked hoarsely. "I'm the son of the man, the second son of the king, who hunts and persecutes your kind. I have nothing to give you, and loving me could get you killed! Why?!"
"Because you're worth it," Merlin said, bringing his face close to Arthur's, until the very tips of their noses were brushing.
"Are you sure about that?" Arthur murmured quietly. Merlin could feel the warm breath ghosting across his lips.
"Of course I am," Merlin said, his other hand reaching to wrap loosely around Arthur's hip. "You're Arthur, and that's all I need - that you be you."
"I'm broken," Arthur murmured.
"I don't care," Merlin said, tightening his grasp around Arthur's body, pressing their chests flush, and suddenly, he was sneaking a hug, pulling Arthur close and wrapping his arms around him. Arthur pressed his face into Merlin's shoulder.
"You have the power of life and death and the earth and the Old Religion inside of you," Arthur asked, his hands remaining limp. "You can have anything. Why me?"
"Like I said, because you're you," Merlin said. "The dragon...I'm fairly sure it was lying, but it tried to tell me that you were destined to be king with me at your side."
Arthur stiffened, and Merlin hurriedly added, "I think it was just a lie. But even if you're only ever prince, you will always look after and care for Camelot. And I will always be at your side."
He shivered just once, his lips pressing against Merlin's neck now, and his hand wrapped around Merlin's waist, too. Merlin pulled back a little, bringing his hands up to frame Arthur's face gently as he asked, "May I?", his lips only a hair's breadth form Arthur's.
"I," Arthur said, unsure. "I don't...I can't..."
"I don't want anything else, Arthur," Merlin said. "Just you. Just a kiss. Just whatever you want, even if that's nothing at all."
Arthur nodded and suddenly, Merlin found his lips pressed against those of the Prince of Camelot's, wrapped in each other's embrace. Arthur whimpered into Merlin's mouth, eyes fluttering shut in confused pleasure, but Merlin gently shushed him.
"Just you," Merlin murmured against the flesh of Arthur's cheek when he finally turned his head away with shining eyes. "Just you.
~*~
Merlin came into Arthur's room several weeks later and set down the breakfast platter, turning to see Arthur sitting on his bed, already stretching his arm while holding his sword, bringing back the muscle power to his arm as he had over the last month since the injury.
"Ah, Merlin, there you are," Arthur said, looking up. "I'm to attend to my first hunt, today, since I was injured. Have you-"
"I prepared everything last night," Merlin said with a slight eyeroll.
Arthur gave him a shrewd, almost pointed, look, and Merlin sighed and took a seat next to Arthur. Ever since he found out about Merlin's magic, he made Merlin do chores inside the room with magic, taking interest in watching his things float around and work of their own accord.
He watched the stack of hunting supplies assemble and the clothes arrange themselves over the table and the food platter float over to hover in front of him.
Arthur idly picked off a hunk of bread, broke off a piece, and handed it to Merlin, and the two ate while watching the supplies finishing stacking up in neat order.
"Useful," Arthur said. It's been the first time he has said anything while watching Merlin's magic.
Merlin smiled. Coming from Arthur, that was high praise, indeed.
~*~
Next Chapter >>
Master Post