When is an engagement not an engagement? Polyamory.

[nyecamden]

I have one partner (at the moment). My partner has two other partners. One is his girlfriend, the other is his fiancée. Shaun and I are going to get handfasted (date TBC). He has given me a ring. What do we call this? Can we call it engaged? I consider the handfasting a marriage; I give not one hoot that the state doesn't recognise this

Comments

[pennski]

Given that I have known plenty of monogamous couples declare themselves "engaged" with no committment to actually get married, I think you are perfectly entitled to use the word to indicate your "pending hand-fasting" state.

[nyecamden]

Thanks :-)

[nyecamden]

Engaged to be handfasted could be the thing. People say 'engaged to be married' all the time.

[haggis]

Bethrothed?

[angiereedgarner]

I don't know/think you should do what you want, but meanwhile congrats!

[sashajwolf]

I think using "engaged" is fine. Might be a good idea to have a polite one-sentence response ready for anyone who knows about his fiancee and asks questions, though.