White Whale's Party in Sunnyland (part 1)
Thursday I flew to Sunnyland to visit Nelum.
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Friday, February 26th 2016, I spent the day falling deeply in love with Nelum. He read aloud to me from a book of his. I shared secrets of mine. I read aloud to him this post from my journal, to illustrate what my fantasies were like, and how Hibiscus connected with and accepted my fantasies.
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Friday afternoon I texted Hibiscus: "Nelum is giving me some new fascinating insights into why I crave aggression. Reading aloud to me from a really good book. I feel like I'm learning a lot here that I look forward to talking with you about."
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Friday night Hibiscus replied: "We just got back from the potluck. I had a longish talk with Stoutie, and have come to find out that she's actually/officially poly. Her partner too, although it sounds like maybe it's more her thing than his. Did you know that already?"
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I replied an hour later, "No, I had no idea! That's awesome. They're both kinda cute, lol."
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I plotted out a future that included Nelum in it. Instead of spending my voucher money on coming out to Sunnyland, I'd spend some of it on bringing Nelum to me in the summer time. I'd fly him to Silverstag Eco Hamlet.
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I asked him about that. I asked how long he could be away for and afford it financially if I covered his food and his travel expense. He said he could probably get away with three weeks (at most). I tucked that thought away as a strong intention for June or July.
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Then perhaps I would fly out to see him in Sunnyland again in December or January, or fly him out to see me again in September or October. I wonder how Hibiscus and Paladin would feel about me having Nelum live in my room for three weeks in the summer, I thought.
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Nelum would fill out the last little spaces in my life that are devoid of love, touch, devotion, affection and nurturing, I mused, imagining a house full of men of mine and delighting in it.
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Saturday morning I was fully enamored. Despite his complete lack of any compunction about germs (he sat on the carpet to eat, with no worries about setting his utensils on the carpet before eating with them), and despite his lack of connection with his own dark side, I felt tinglingly alive with him.
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He ate me out again. I asked him for anal sex, and he gave it to me. It felt incredibly good. His slow, gentle, hypnotic pace was much more apt for anal sex.
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He was so open, giving, I wanted to give back. I found myself tempted to put his cock in my mouth. I forestalled myself and checked the time. I had said I would go to White Whale's house party that evening.
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My original intention had been to get as many friends as possible that I knew in Sunnyland to go as possible. I wanted to consolidate my social time so that I could spend the rest of the time with Nelum. Unfortunately, none of them wanted to come to White Whale's party (or simply didn't live in the area anymore.)
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But I'd told White Whale I was coming, and that Nelum was coming too, and that Nelum was going to give mini massages during the party. Besides, the complimentary young coconuts sounded wonderful.
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Reluctantly, I began to ready myself to go. I put on a hand-made dress that I'd bought off of Etsy made of organic cotton. It showed much of my breasts in the front, but was of a classy, unique cut.
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Once dressed, I was somewhat excited about going, despite feeling a stronger draw to have sex with Nelum again.
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"If we brought a condom, would you be open to doing something in the bathroom?" I asked teasingly, expecting fully for him to say "no."
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He smiled, "Yes."
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My eye brows raised. "Really?"
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I felt warm and tingly all over my body. I left it up to him to bring a condom if he would.
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Once we were in the car I wondered if he had thought to bring a condom or not or not. Nelum asked me questions about why I wanted to go to White Whale's party.
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"I've worked for him for years. I only ever see the side of him that wants to get things done, and is short-tempered. But I know he must be more than what I see of him. I remember liking him in person when we met back in 2010. I guess I'm just really curious about what White Whale the human is, rather than White Whale the employer."
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As Nelum parked I observed that the neighborhood was nice. So this is where White Whale lives, I thought. Seems pretty clean. Nice amount of plants. The houses look respectable.
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We found the house and went around to the back and up a set of wooden stairs to a balcony. Many shoes littered the balcony, making it evident that we were in the right place.
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I took off my shoes and entered. I noticed people, drums being played, coconuts on the kitchen counter, and distantly I could hear White Whale's voice. I passed through the kitchen and living area to find White Whale in the hallway talking to someone. I approached him.
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"Hi Nuria," White Whale said enthusiastically. I looked at him, somewhat startled. He wore a silk shirt and complimenting, flowing, silk pants. He looked exotic in gold and green.
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I hugged him. He was pleasant to hold. My height and petite.
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How rare, I thought, and astonishing. How can it be that both Nelum and White Whale are men of my preference in height and overall size?
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What sort of magical manifestation vortex was I creating? I felt on top of the world.
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A few minutes later White Whale stepped up to the microphone. Someone handed out song lyrics.
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"We're going to sing some songs," White Whale said. "I invite you to sing the chorus with me."
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He began to sing and I felt my heart soar, my energy spreading out around me to glow with him.
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Cold, harsh White Whale . . . Is this same man? He sung passionately, and his lyrics were filled with gratitude, love, and meaning. He radiated energy, confidence and joy. These are his own lyrics? Astonishing!
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White Whale had hurt me so much - had made me doubt my self worth. And yet here he sung about gratitude, and the meaning of life so eloquently.
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I looked at Nelum to gage his thoughts. His eyes were closed. He is moved too, I thought. And why wouldn't he be? The atmosphere was beautiful. The music was uplifting. Accompanying White Whale's voice were the sounds of djembe drums and a softly played piano.
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When the chorus came I listened at first, and then sung along. I hadn't expected to, but the words resonated with me.
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White Whale started to dance at some point. No one else stepped up to join him at first. Then, drawn like a moth to a flame, I joined him.
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Nelum didn't join the dancing. He had warned me that he wasn't good at social situations. I looked over at him many times, but couldn't catch his eye. He's feeling awkward, I thought. I should get him started on the massages he said he would give out. That will give him something to do.
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The song wound down and White Whale went back to the microphone. He told the story of his house, which was what the celebration was about - the ten year anniversary of owning his house. The story of how that came to be was more interesting than I could have guessed.
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When he finished the story I said to White Whale, "Maybe announce that Nelum will give massages in the other room?"
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"Oh, right," White Whale said. He relayed this over the microphone and then Nelum was off with something to do. I felt relieved. I had felt worried that he would continue to feel out of place and that I would need to try to drag him into conversation or other distraction to keep him from feeling awkward.
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I watched White Whale. He looked back at me. I was surprised to see the strong interest on his face. This man who had so often belittled me was now looking at me with an irresistible charisma. I returned his stare.
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He leaned toward me and whispered in my ear, "I'm surprised to see you smiling at me."
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"You thought I'd have hard feelings?" I asked.
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"I'm glad that there aren't." He put his arms around me. I held him tightly, surprised at my own intensity of emotion. Suddenly I wanted to drown in him. Please forgive me for not having always been the easiest to work with, I thought. And maybe I can forgive you too.
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Or maybe I already had forgiven him. It wasn't clear to me exactly what I was feeling. I felt quite mind-blown just to be standing there holding him.
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The hug stretched on. One of White Whale's friends was now at the microphone beginning to sing. The small living area was filled with people milling about, many playing instruments.
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He's still holding me. It has been quite some time, I thought. My fingers moved up and down his back, exploring his shape through his shirt. He began moving with the music and I moved with him.
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I touched my lips to his neck. His hands explored my waist. I pulled enough away from him to look him in the eyes. And then he started kissing me - in front of his mother, his friends, and the girl I'm pretty sure he came with. Another friend was singing only two feet away.
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Surreal. White Whale kissing me. That was surreal enough itself, and yet the circumstances made it even more confusing. Doesn't he care that all of these people can see us and that they don't know me? Why is he so comfortable with this?
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He led me into the hallway, toward his bedroom. Nelum was coming down the hall, finished at last with a long queue of massages.
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"What's going on?" Nelum asked. He seemed uncertain.
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I felt embarrassed, aroused, confused - what could I say? I smiled, my eyes glazed and unfocused. I didn't know where White Whale was leading me.
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"I'm going to give Nuria a massage," White Whale said. I felt my stomach tighten.
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Why did you say that to Nelum? I thought. He is going to take that the wrong way. That is entirely inappropriate.
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