The Social Hindenburg

[nova_one]

I have a hard time in social situations with people I don't know. My friends often tell me that I try too hard, and that puts people off. I can understand why no one wants a counterfeit coin, but at the same time I feel like I'm just expressing my desire to get to know other people better

Comments

[yafah]

you can always default to something about the situation you are in at the moment if you are at a loss! or the weather, which is so banal but everyone recognizes talking about the weather as a filler, it's like saying "do you want to keep talking with me" when you say "man it has been SO cold lately." haha

[melange_fiesta]

Before maybe a year or two ago I really didn't have that many social skills, and I quaked at the thought of most social situations, particularly if they involved people I'd never met before. However, somewhere along the way I learned more social graces, although I do make blunders from time to time. Part of what helped me was that I realized that people you don't know may actually feel as scared and awkward as YOU do, and even if they don't, they still have no idea what they're really getting into in a new interaction, any more than you do. And if they are hostile, or reject you, or whatever, it can be just as much about what's going on inside themselves, as opposed to something I did "wrong". (However, if you aren't actually possessed of the kind of fear I was back in the day, you can feel free to ignore my message up to this point

[_juju_]

Like in music or movies, people like already knowing things, but hearing them anyway. Oh that guy is the killer? Yeah, I knew that. Oh, those two characters are falling in love? Yeah, saw that coming.

So... you already knew where he worked? That's okay! Ask him anyway! "So, you still working at ____? How's that going?" Then there's countless other fillers like mentioned above. Weather, maybe work, or you could tell him it's weird being back in Canada, or PEI, for whatever reason, leading up to him asking you about Japan.

How old are you? Come on... :P

[nova_one]

I hear ya. Seeing the same people today, I actually used "Cold enough for ya?" and some other things successfully.

Well, see, I knew where he worked because I'd asked him that that same afternoon! And how it was going! And even how long he'd worked there. But yeah, otherwise I see your point. =)