The Social Hindenburg

Jan 28, 2009 00:28

I have a hard time in social situations with people I don't know. My friends often tell me that I try too hard, and that puts people off. I can understand why no one wants a counterfeit coin, but at the same time I feel like I'm just expressing my desire to get to know other people better ( Read more... )

social situations, awkward moments, relatives

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melange_fiesta January 28 2009, 11:07:38 UTC
Before maybe a year or two ago I really didn't have that many social skills, and I quaked at the thought of most social situations, particularly if they involved people I'd never met before. However, somewhere along the way I learned more social graces, although I do make blunders from time to time. Part of what helped me was that I realized that people you don't know may actually feel as scared and awkward as YOU do, and even if they don't, they still have no idea what they're really getting into in a new interaction, any more than you do. And if they are hostile, or reject you, or whatever, it can be just as much about what's going on inside themselves, as opposed to something I did "wrong". (However, if you aren't actually possessed of the kind of fear I was back in the day, you can feel free to ignore my message up to this point.)

That being said, barring any knowledge of his interests, you could have asked him how he was, what he's been doing lately, how's school/work/etc... I know those are boring questions, but they can lead to more fruitful areas, such as him mentioning of his own accord what he's interested in, so you could then ask about it and have a "real" conversation.

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