Comments | nova33: Original Fiction: Still

nova33

Original Fiction: Still

Aug 13, 2009 22:36

Still
8000 words

I started writing this story maybe a year and a half ago, for tailoredshirt's birthday (it's in March, for the record). It then became a belated birthday present, then a Christmas present, then a birthday present for this year - but now it's finally done. K, I hope you like it. Apologies that it took this long ( Read more... )

original fiction

Comments 6

opalphoenix August 14 2009, 00:00:57 UTC

Oh wow. I don't know what I was expecting at the end of this, but it really wasn't that. Your way with description and details left me breathless, as usual, and that was altogether heartbreaking.

nova33 August 26 2009, 11:00:17 UTC

This has taken me too long to respond to; my apologies.

Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I'm glad I was able to surprise, and that my writing could have such an effect on you.

analogized August 14 2009, 05:17:43 UTC

Tearing up, just a little. This has a lovely, quiet feel to it, with one hell of a punch at the end. Oh, you. So freaking talented. Never stop this, you hear? It'd be a tragedy. ♥

nova33 August 26 2009, 11:01:26 UTC

Oh, you! Thank you so much for reading and for that lovely, lovely comment - as long as I can, I'll be writing, but your encouragement means a hell of a lot. I'm glad my writing can have such an effect on you. ♥

many apologies, once again, for the lateness tailoredshirt August 24 2009, 14:27:02 UTC

I'm kind of writing this as I go because I don't want to leave anything out.

I love all of the little details here, which I always love in your stories (along with your dialogue, but I've already told you that a million times), like the indentation on the back of your leg when you sit on a wooden chair. It's just little things that when I read it I automatically connect with that detail and it makes the rest of it feel all the more real.

In the first scene, I'm already feeling some strange tension, like they're going to break up, or that she's going to break up with him. The part where she gets irritated by the silence is interesting. And I love the second scene where she's setting up her photograph and something is missing. And the mention of him being sick in the laundromat scene has me wondering exactly what's going on. I love the dialogue there.

“In case you were worried,” she replies with a smile, but she’s not sure where the ‘still’ came from either.

*is very in suspense about what's going on here*

She doesn’t want to be ( ... )

Re: many apologies, once again, for the lateness nova33 August 26 2009, 10:59:27 UTC

Oh K, I'm so glad you liked it! I don't know if it was really worth waiting quite that long for, but nonetheless ( ... )