01; [oh to hell with it]; VIDEO POST

[notthemodel]

Alright--sodding hell--let me just get this straight.

[the video shakes for a moment before being picked up and displaying the face of a very disgruntled, impatient, frowning face.]I'm in a fancy new place with stupid carousels that are supposed to mark an alternate universe meeting place for just about everyone else that strays here on a complete

Comments

[not_so_smooth]

I can give you some coins so you can buy cigarettes.

[not_so_smooth]

It will be like the fourth Thursday of November over here.

I didn't spend a whole lot of time in college, but it doesn't get much better.

[notthemodel]

Christ, I didn't think so either but imagining helps looking people in the eye in the hallways without outright punching them considerably easier.

You dropped out or something?

[not_so_smooth]

Wait, if you're still in high school, how old are you?

No, I died. Which, seriously sucks. You work your ass off to get into a really good school and then you died a few days into the first semester.

[notthemodel]

Sixteen.

...what do you mean you died? You mentioned before but I thought you meant in a metaphorical sense--don't tell me you're fucking dead dead?

[not_so_smooth]

Oh, you'll get an allowance from the City then to help pay for stuff.

I got killed back in my world. There were giant alien robots and Optimus Prime died and I was trying to bring him back to life but I got killed in Egypt by the evil alien robots and I ended up back here.

[notthemodel]

Free money, you don't say? There a trick to this? Human trafficking or something of the sort?

The guide did have a section on death. But jesus, giant alien robots?

Where exactly are you from?

[not_so_smooth]

No, it's just one of the ways the City makes up for its suck.

Earth, the United States. 2009. There's, um, there's a movie about it in some worlds. Well, at least what happened before I died, like... a few years ago.

[notthemodel]

Let me guess, Transformers?

[not_so_smooth]

That would be it.

[notthemodel]

The Optimus Prime bit doesn't leave much for questioning.

Thought your name was familiar but I don't know, I didn't really see the movie.

[not_so_smooth]

Yeah, I'm the guy that got Optimus Prime killed.

Oh, good. It wasn't entirely accurate. But don't ask how it was different. But yeah, the movie thing helps people realize I'm not crazy when I talk about sentient alien robots from the planet Cybertron.

[notthemodel]

Thanks for the spoiler, Sam.

Kids absolutely eat that shit up. The movie ranked pretty high in the box offices, if that's any help to you.

[not_so_smooth]

Hey, at least it wasn't about your own life.

Oh good, tons of people saw me with my pants around my ankles.

[notthemodel]

Could be worse.

So what's it like? Being dead.

[not_so_smooth]

Oh trust me, it's been worse.

Physically, I don't have a heartbeat and it's kind of chilly. Like how movie theatres are always a bit colder than they need to be. I also don't need to eat or drink, but I can. Philosophically? It sucks.