when you're bitter, it's always a party for one
I've been trying--not very successfully, obviously--to get back here, to reboot, to make this over, to start over, begin again. Here and, well, every fucking where. My life is a cascade of ruin and potential. I'm not happy about that, but I'm not unhappy either. Things are just what they are. Imposing order on chaos takes time and strength,
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You're absolutely right about not considering the ugly possibilities attendant with saying "yes." And, as trite as it is, without there really never is anything gained without first a venture, a putting one's self at risk. So then the question becomes "why beat myself up over the fact that time and again I've at made the effort to change things, though I have nothing but peace of mind for the attempt?" And is the peace of mind worth it?
I guess it is. And, for a night at least, that will keep bitterness at bay again, so thank you.
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