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[notesinblue]

i'm blue. it's odd, i wasn't that upset when i left court today for once. but the past few hours i've been trying to play a video game to keep my mind off of things and it hasn't worked. not at all. i finally gave up. i think i figured out what's nagging at me, aside from all of the obvious

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[dreamaster]

If he came back to you ten years from now, and he noticeably changed, would you want him back in your life? Would you renew your friendship with him now that time mended hearts? Or would you be inclined to tell him to stay out of your life forever?

[notesinblue]

truthfully, i don't know.
i always believed that if he got help for his mental illness that we might be able to be friends again. but i don't think he ever will. he blames me for his misery, and i don't see that changing. even if he did get healthy i'm not sure if i could ever trust him again, or forgive the things he has done. i just don't know. the sad thing is, i don't think i'll ever have to decide. i find it all very tragic - i would have done anything for him.