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several years later...
all these years later it is worth noting that i am okay. i'm not sunshine and roses all the time, but i've finally overcome my Depression and Anxiety. therapy and lots of hard work. i've come such a long way. reading back through some of this reminds me of just how very far it has been ( Read more... ) -
relapse of blue
god damn it. why now? why did my parents have to beat the hell out of me now? i was just starting to bounce back from one of the worst weekends i've had all year. i seriously wanted to curl up and die. then Robin got bitten by that rattlesnake and almost died, which ripped my heart out. i'm fragile as a teacup and then they smash the hell out of me ( Read more... ) -
inner dialogue
i feel stuck.
i want to move forward, but it's like i'm shackled in place. i know what i want, i even know what i need to do in order to get it (to a degree), but i'm immobilized by fear. i talked to Tanya about this and she suggested i journal with myself, have a dialogue. i think we both know that what is holding me back is inside me. no, it is ( Read more... ) -
help
i think i just has a psychotic break, or at the very least a nervous breakdown. i can hardly type this. each keystroke requires all my effort, concentration, and energy. i finished writing that last entry and broke down into sobbing. real hard, hopeless, sobbing. when i managed to get it down to a drizzling cry i texted him. i texted that i may be ( Read more... ) -
waiting game
something is not right. this is not right. and futhermore, i am not alright ( Read more... ) -
alone in the dark
i'm trying. i'm trying so damn hard. and it just doesn't seem to matter ( Read more... ) -
last straw
i know i'm not the first, nor will i be the last, but i can't stand my fucking mother ( Read more... ) -
dream life
i just had the most wonderful dream. i’ve woken up smiling. i’d go back to sleep and catch some more comfy bed, snuggly, nap time, but i wanted to write it down ( Read more... ) -
gift list
i meant to post this a while ago ( Read more... ) -
words
Words words words. Where have you gone? It seems that every time I write something I like it cripples me for months afterwards. I look at the piece in question and feel awed and retarded. How could I ever create something that interesting again? It is as though I have convinced myself that I have a very finite reserve of brilliance and it has been ( Read more... )