[17] This breakdown's been a while in coming

[notarrowette]

[Warden Filter]

[It's possible Cissie hasn't slept, and maybe that she's more than a little drunk. She drank Beatty's vodka, sorry Beatty. This is just not her week. She looks exhausted and this entire rambling rant is delivered with a whole lot of apathy.]First: The library is fine. Nothing happened. Beatty's in Zero for the time being for

Comments

Private

[willkissawookie]

I'm sticking around as long as the Admiral lets me.

Private

[notarrowette]

...Thanks, Leia.

Re: Private - They need to have a hair braiding party!

[willkissawookie]

Need anything?

Private - They so do!!

[notarrowette]

I'm all right. It's just been a rough week or so, I guess. I... could have handled it better.

Private

[mrs_persson]

You sound like I felt when O'Brien went flying off the rails.

What I finally realised in dealing with a man like him is that it's not him that you're breaking: it's the conditioning and the structure. And yes, it is often indistinguishable from the man himself, especially with men like this who have wilfully forgotten any other system beyond the one to which they've wedded themselves. But if there was truly nothing beneath that structure; if there was no man, no soul within to be redeemed, they would not be here.

At least, that's what I tell myself every day, and most of the time I believe it, or almost believe it enough.

As for who to trust: I know who I trust. And limiting my confidences and doubts to those people makes my life much, much easier.

Private

[notarrowette]

I think that's what's happening with Beatty. He was laughing.

...I do think there's something there, underneath. He really does believe he's helping everyone, making us happier. And he did finally actually talk to me, but... I don't know. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I thought I knew who to trust, but I might have been wrong and I don't know if I should give him another chance or if that's just stupid.

Re: Private

[mrs_persson]

The similarities between Beatty and O'Brien are uncanny sometimes. O'Brien, of course, did everything he did because he earnestly believed he was helping everyone and making them more sane.

Do you want to talk about it? Beatty or this person you're not sure you can trust, or any of it.

[Private]

[a_bit_put_upon]

It was this approach which frightened me so.

Cissie... very rarely is a path meant to be taken for its straightforward nature. Humanity has forged such paths of their own for lack of finding them naturally abundant. It isn't always necessarily the proper thing to do, but it's the most effective, more often than not. I suppose I've spent too long a time ensconced in such a mentality that I became complacent in it, and forgotten my own methods. Perhaps you ought to look to yours a moment, and begin regarding your methods, your mindset, and those of your inmate as pieces to a puzzle.

I'm hardly trustworthy, but I'm a man of my word if not my actions, and I promise I won't abandon you again. If you need me to, I'll attempt to help you find some sort of path to take with him.

[Private] WOW, sorry for this fail, I could have sworn I replied!

[notarrowette]

I don't... understand. What approach?

Thank you. That's maybe a good idea. I really wasn't talking about you specifically, Doctor, I promise. I just--there have been a lot of people leaving, and I hate it. It reminds me of home and--and why I came here in the first place.

[Private] It's totally okay! I'm still finding tags I didn't get notifs for xD

[a_bit_put_upon]

The loss of hope. This apathy, Cissie, it's a terrible disease. I didn't realise until after I'd left that the only thing stopping us here is the apathy- how badly it was beginning to corrode me. It destroyed me, and after I knew why, I tried to return, and I couldn't find you lot. And then, so many years...

But that's past. I'm sorry they've left, and I'm so very sorry you were struck by whatever you came to escape. Whatever the outcome, you'll have me, if nothing else. If I'm a constant to the Universe, then I can at least be a constant to my friends.

Private.

[thegooddrjones]

Cissie, do you want tea and company?

Private.

[notarrowette]

...I'd like that. Thank you, Martha.

I'm sorry. I don't--know what's gotten into me.

Private.

[thegooddrjones]

It's all right, it happens to the best of us. Do you want to come here or do you want me to come there?

Private. (ACK, sorry for the delay! I thought I replied!)

[notarrowette]

I wouldn't mind getting out of my room a little, if that's all right with you? But if you're feeling the same way, here is fine!

Sylar says trust Sylar. >:3

[gray_atonement]

...She probably will, because she is a silly, silly girl. :|

[notarrowette]