Jonestown

[notadiamond]

Read this first.

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OK, so would I go to Jonestown? Yes. Why? To remind me that I have so much to be thankful for. Although I "drank the kool-aid" at least I'm still alive. I have the opportunity to prevent things like this from happening to

Comments

[kumquatwriter]

That's beautiful!

[grannieof2]

You're going to be fine. Anyone with this kind of strength and clear-eyed approach to herself is going to find her way. Maybe it's hard to trust others, but you can trust yourself.

Thanks for telling your story. :)

[notadiamond]

Can I trust myself? I've made HUGE mistakes in picking the people I choose to let in. That's one of those things I have to figure out - how do I tell the difference between people who ACTUALLY get me and those who are just feeding me what I need to hear? I can't even accept compliments well 'cause I assume people are lying. It's fucked up and a half.

[grannieof2]

I hear that -- I made so many bad choices I doubted myself for years. I came to see that the doubt, the belief that I didn't know my own truth, was something someone else planted in me long ago, and that others who were equally abusive and dangerous took advantage of. I recognized eventually that my instincts were telling me these people weren't to be trusted, and my false belief about myself led me to ignore those warnings. With time and a lot of therapy I learned to listen for that little voice, and ignore everything else that contradicted it. That little voice is NEVER wrong; it never lets me down.

[notadiamond]

thank you. I will keep your words in mind.

[turimel]

The thing you have to remember is that you were YOUNG and NAIVE when you made the huge mistakes. That's the time in life when you're supposed to goof up. It was natural for you to try new things--particularly since your family of origin was not exactly of the "ooh, let's explore" persuasion