In Time: Holding On
Title: Holding On
Summary: “If he was dead I would feel it.”
Timeframe: Any, Slight AU
Characters/Pairing: Team, implied established Sam/Jack.
Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort
Rating: G
Note: Written as a birthday present for Regularamanda.
Holding On
“Sam?”
Sniffing back tears, Sam sat hunched over her lab bench, ignoring the concerned call from her friend and pretending to be intently focused on her work.
“Sam, are you okay?” Ever the persistent one, Daniel tried again. This time he stepped into the lab and pulled up a chair beside her, ignoring her attempts to block him out.
“I’m fine, Daniel. Can you please just go?” She hated the obvious sound of sadness and despair in her voice. Sam didn’t look up from the open book in front of her. She was hunched over the photo album protectively, shielding it from his view.
Still avoiding her attempts to get rid of him, Daniel wedged his fingers beneath her protective arms and gently tugged the book away from her. He was only half-surprised to discover the familiar worn photo album, it’s glossy pages sprinkled with teardrops. It was SG-1’s album, the one Sam had suggested they start toward the middle of their first year together as a team, when they’d really become more than just teammates and coworkers. They’d become family.
The old book was open to a page filled with photographs from one of their many get-together’s at O’Malley’s. A particular image caught Daniel’s attention. It was one Teal’c had taken of Sam and Jack, when the two of them had thought he and Daniel were out of sight, probably replenishing their pitcher of beer or making a trip to the bathroom. They looked happy and content, laughing together and sitting just a little closer than what was considered appropriate for their military relationship. It was the moment Daniel knew-really knew-that his two friends were meant to be something more.
He looked up to find Sam furiously wiping tears from her eyes, trying to cover up her emotional breakdown. Tiny cracks were destroying her carefully constructed façade of military officer perfection.
Daniel didn’t want to be the one to say it, but someone had to, and he was the likely candidate. Clearing his throat to suppress his own emotional reaction, he carefully placed his hand on Sam’s shoulder and softly said, “It’s been six months, Sam… There’s been no trace… It-I think it’s time to let him go.”
Sam furiously shook her head, and Daniel could see her struggle; the way her lower lip quivered, the wrinkles in her chin as she tried hard not to cry. “I can’t, Daniel. I don’t believe he’s gone.”
“Sam…” Daniel felt his own throat constricting.
“Daniel,” she looked him in the eye, her voice firm and full of conviction. “Jack’s not dead. He can’t be.” Sam’s voice softened and she looked away again. “If he was dead I would feel it.”
Daniel didn’t know what to say to that. He couldn’t deny that she and Jack had always seemed to have a special connection, more than attraction or the love he knew that had for one another. He got up from his chair, gave Sam a gentle hug, and walked out of her lab.
.
Almost a week after Daniel’s brief talk with Sam, the SGC was contacted by the Nox. Lya had come through the gate, insisting that SG-1 join her back on their planet. There was a calm urgency about the Nox woman, and Daniel had noticed that something in General Hammond’s wise grey-blue eyes understood on some level, that Lya needed them to go.
Sam was the first to step through the gate onto the Nox world. Lya was silent as they followed her through the woods to one of their little huts. It was so familiar, even though it had been a long while since they’d been there.
Teal’c walked closely beside Sam as though he sensed what was coming, and Daniel trailed off behind a little more slowly, fearing the worst. All he could think was that the Nox had somehow found Jack, and he was dead.
For a scary, breathless moment as they entered a dark hut with Lya, his fears had been confirmed. Sam’s hitched gasp went right through him, and Teal’c went stock still when they found themselves looking down at Jack O’Neill lying peacefully on a corner cot. He was pale, thin, and lifeless.
Sam choked on a sob, and Daniel stared down at his feet, tears pooling in his eyes until he heard her next gasp. “He’s breathing!”
“He lives,” Lya confirmed softly, kneeling by Jack’s head.
“OhmyGod.” Daniel felt his legs turn into spaghetti.
“O’Neill emerged from our…stargate one day ago. He was very weak; near death.”
“Yet he has been healed, has he not?” Teal’c questioned, his voice soft and low. Daniel noticed the Jaffa’s gaze never left their friend.
“We have performed the Ritual of Life, yes.” Lya sent them all a small, comforting smile. “He rests now. It took much to revive him.”
Teal’c was quick to embrace Sam as she leaned against him suddenly, overwrought and trembling, but otherwise silent. Daniel felt tears streak down his cheeks, and had to remove his glasses to clear his vision. Jack was back.
.
Anteaus joined them shortly after Lya had led the team reluctantly out of the hut. Sam couldn’t believe what was happening; Jack was back. It all seemed too easy. But wait… “Is it really him? Are you sure?” she asked the Nox tremulously. Her heart, her very soul was telling her that this was really Jack, but she didn’t want to get her hopes up. She was scared.
“We have confirmed his identity,” Anteaus told them without explaining how. She hadn’t expected him to.
“What happened to him?” Daniel asked from beside her, and Sam could hear his voice crack.
Lya eyed them all somberly. “We do not know.”
“He simply emerged from our doorway,” Anteaus added.
Daniel, Sam, and Teal’c are shared somewhat puzzled looks, but otherwise let it go. None of them really cared how Jack got to the Nox, only that he had, and that he was alive now because of it.
Sam did a half turn and looked back at the hut they’d emerged from a moment ago. Anteaus was taking them to sit in the circle and have something to eat. She didn’t want to eat. She just wanted to see Jack.
Lya touched her arm, startling her. “You wish to go?” The Nox woman pointed back toward the hut.
Smiling tightly, Sam nodded, looking up at her teammates for a moment and gaining their understanding nods or approval. “Yes, I do.”
Lya nodded and serenely waved her on.
Wasting no time, Sam quickly re-entered the dark dwelling, her heart in her throat as she approached the cot where Jack lay. She really looked at him for the first time as she knelt at his side. His face was grey-pale and gaunt looking. There was a blanket covering him up to his chest, and he was obviously naked beneath. Sam assumed his clothes had been beyond repair, and that was somehow frightening, telling of what he’d been through over the last six months.
Sam felt sick looking at him. He was so thin. She felt tears in her eyes again, and clenched them shut to banish the onslaught.
“Hey…you.”
The weak, rasp of a voice drew her attention, and Sam forced her eyes open to look at the man lying so still on the cot. “Colonel,” she gasped, sniffing back another threat of tears, this time those of relief.
Sam didn’t realize she’d grasped his hand until his gaze shifted to their joined digits, and he quirked an eyebrow. She didn’t let go. She couldn’t.
“Missed you…too, Carter,” he murmured, a half smile forming on his grey lips.
Smiling tightly, Sam continued to clutch his hand as he began to sit up. She helped him as he struggled to orient himself, swaying and fighting off a wave of dizziness. She found a pitcher of water nearby and poured him a cup. “Here, sir, have something to drink.”
Jack took the cup with a frail, shaking hand and took one tentative sip before making a face. “This isn’t water.”
“No, it is to help replenish your strength.”
Both Sam and Jack looked toward the doorway to find Lya entering the hut and moving over to them.
“Tastes weird,” Jack murmured, then when Lya gave him a long, patient look, he drank.
“Will he be okay to come back through the gate with us?” Sam asked cautiously, wanting nothing more than to get her once-lost CO back to Earth.
Lya nodded smoothly. “He will regain some strength shortly.” She waved her hand at him again. “Drink.” Jack complied, and Sam watched him carefully.
.
Sam watched Jack like a hawk the entire trek back to the gate. Whatever Lya had given him to drink had surely restored a great deal of strength-as had the healing ritual the Nox had performed-but he was still quite weak, and Sam insisted that they stopped often.
Having no clothes of his own, Daniel offered Jack the spare BDUs and t-shirt in his pack. Jack had always been leaner than Daniel, but he was solid, and the archaeologist’s clothes wouldn’t have fit him quite so poorly as they did now. In his current state, the pants and t-shirt Jack was wearing completely swamped him, causing Jack to look even more frail and awkward as he slowly trekked toward the gate with his team.
Sam’s heart clenched with sympathy, and she clung to his arm as they reached the gate that the Nox had made visible again before their very eyes. Daniel automatically jogged over to the DHD and began dialing Earth while Teal’c stood by, fingers ready on his GDO. All three of them were clearly anxious to get Jack home.
Jack had been aware that he’d been missing for a while, but when they’d revealed to him that six months had passed, the Colonel was at a loss for words. He didn’t say what had happened to him, or if he even remembered, but Sam caught his dark eyes and saw something in those deep brown orbs that said someday-maybe not soon-but someday he might tell her.
Sam noticed Teal’c and Daniel share a look before they must have decided that they were going to go through the gate first, to give her and Jack a moment. She appreciated it.
“Carter?” Jack was leaning on her a little more now, his legs weakening.
She turned so that she was more or less facing him, one arm firmly around his waist. With her free hand, she gently cupped the side of his face and looked into his eyes as she leaned forward to place a tender kiss on his pale lips. “I knew you weren’t dead. I knew it.”
When she pulled away Sam knew tears were running down her cheeks, but she didn’t care. The confusion on his face quickly morphed into relief, and it pained her to hear his hitched breath.
“Oh God, Carter. I was so afraid that we-“
Sam cut him off with a gentle finger on his lips. His hands were clutching at her waist now. “It’s real, Jack. This is real. You’re back. You came back, and you’re safe.” She pulled him to her, just holding him. They stayed that way for a long moment, then with equal soft sighs, leaning on one another for support, Sam and Jack stepped through the gate. It was time to go home.
.Fin.
Summary: “If he was dead I would feel it.”
Timeframe: Any, Slight AU
Characters/Pairing: Team, implied established Sam/Jack.
Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort
Rating: G
Note: Written as a birthday present for Regularamanda.
Holding On
“Sam?”
Sniffing back tears, Sam sat hunched over her lab bench, ignoring the concerned call from her friend and pretending to be intently focused on her work.
“Sam, are you okay?” Ever the persistent one, Daniel tried again. This time he stepped into the lab and pulled up a chair beside her, ignoring her attempts to block him out.
“I’m fine, Daniel. Can you please just go?” She hated the obvious sound of sadness and despair in her voice. Sam didn’t look up from the open book in front of her. She was hunched over the photo album protectively, shielding it from his view.
Still avoiding her attempts to get rid of him, Daniel wedged his fingers beneath her protective arms and gently tugged the book away from her. He was only half-surprised to discover the familiar worn photo album, it’s glossy pages sprinkled with teardrops. It was SG-1’s album, the one Sam had suggested they start toward the middle of their first year together as a team, when they’d really become more than just teammates and coworkers. They’d become family.
The old book was open to a page filled with photographs from one of their many get-together’s at O’Malley’s. A particular image caught Daniel’s attention. It was one Teal’c had taken of Sam and Jack, when the two of them had thought he and Daniel were out of sight, probably replenishing their pitcher of beer or making a trip to the bathroom. They looked happy and content, laughing together and sitting just a little closer than what was considered appropriate for their military relationship. It was the moment Daniel knew-really knew-that his two friends were meant to be something more.
He looked up to find Sam furiously wiping tears from her eyes, trying to cover up her emotional breakdown. Tiny cracks were destroying her carefully constructed façade of military officer perfection.
Daniel didn’t want to be the one to say it, but someone had to, and he was the likely candidate. Clearing his throat to suppress his own emotional reaction, he carefully placed his hand on Sam’s shoulder and softly said, “It’s been six months, Sam… There’s been no trace… It-I think it’s time to let him go.”
Sam furiously shook her head, and Daniel could see her struggle; the way her lower lip quivered, the wrinkles in her chin as she tried hard not to cry. “I can’t, Daniel. I don’t believe he’s gone.”
“Sam…” Daniel felt his own throat constricting.
“Daniel,” she looked him in the eye, her voice firm and full of conviction. “Jack’s not dead. He can’t be.” Sam’s voice softened and she looked away again. “If he was dead I would feel it.”
Daniel didn’t know what to say to that. He couldn’t deny that she and Jack had always seemed to have a special connection, more than attraction or the love he knew that had for one another. He got up from his chair, gave Sam a gentle hug, and walked out of her lab.
.
Almost a week after Daniel’s brief talk with Sam, the SGC was contacted by the Nox. Lya had come through the gate, insisting that SG-1 join her back on their planet. There was a calm urgency about the Nox woman, and Daniel had noticed that something in General Hammond’s wise grey-blue eyes understood on some level, that Lya needed them to go.
Sam was the first to step through the gate onto the Nox world. Lya was silent as they followed her through the woods to one of their little huts. It was so familiar, even though it had been a long while since they’d been there.
Teal’c walked closely beside Sam as though he sensed what was coming, and Daniel trailed off behind a little more slowly, fearing the worst. All he could think was that the Nox had somehow found Jack, and he was dead.
For a scary, breathless moment as they entered a dark hut with Lya, his fears had been confirmed. Sam’s hitched gasp went right through him, and Teal’c went stock still when they found themselves looking down at Jack O’Neill lying peacefully on a corner cot. He was pale, thin, and lifeless.
Sam choked on a sob, and Daniel stared down at his feet, tears pooling in his eyes until he heard her next gasp. “He’s breathing!”
“He lives,” Lya confirmed softly, kneeling by Jack’s head.
“OhmyGod.” Daniel felt his legs turn into spaghetti.
“O’Neill emerged from our…stargate one day ago. He was very weak; near death.”
“Yet he has been healed, has he not?” Teal’c questioned, his voice soft and low. Daniel noticed the Jaffa’s gaze never left their friend.
“We have performed the Ritual of Life, yes.” Lya sent them all a small, comforting smile. “He rests now. It took much to revive him.”
Teal’c was quick to embrace Sam as she leaned against him suddenly, overwrought and trembling, but otherwise silent. Daniel felt tears streak down his cheeks, and had to remove his glasses to clear his vision. Jack was back.
.
Anteaus joined them shortly after Lya had led the team reluctantly out of the hut. Sam couldn’t believe what was happening; Jack was back. It all seemed too easy. But wait… “Is it really him? Are you sure?” she asked the Nox tremulously. Her heart, her very soul was telling her that this was really Jack, but she didn’t want to get her hopes up. She was scared.
“We have confirmed his identity,” Anteaus told them without explaining how. She hadn’t expected him to.
“What happened to him?” Daniel asked from beside her, and Sam could hear his voice crack.
Lya eyed them all somberly. “We do not know.”
“He simply emerged from our doorway,” Anteaus added.
Daniel, Sam, and Teal’c are shared somewhat puzzled looks, but otherwise let it go. None of them really cared how Jack got to the Nox, only that he had, and that he was alive now because of it.
Sam did a half turn and looked back at the hut they’d emerged from a moment ago. Anteaus was taking them to sit in the circle and have something to eat. She didn’t want to eat. She just wanted to see Jack.
Lya touched her arm, startling her. “You wish to go?” The Nox woman pointed back toward the hut.
Smiling tightly, Sam nodded, looking up at her teammates for a moment and gaining their understanding nods or approval. “Yes, I do.”
Lya nodded and serenely waved her on.
Wasting no time, Sam quickly re-entered the dark dwelling, her heart in her throat as she approached the cot where Jack lay. She really looked at him for the first time as she knelt at his side. His face was grey-pale and gaunt looking. There was a blanket covering him up to his chest, and he was obviously naked beneath. Sam assumed his clothes had been beyond repair, and that was somehow frightening, telling of what he’d been through over the last six months.
Sam felt sick looking at him. He was so thin. She felt tears in her eyes again, and clenched them shut to banish the onslaught.
“Hey…you.”
The weak, rasp of a voice drew her attention, and Sam forced her eyes open to look at the man lying so still on the cot. “Colonel,” she gasped, sniffing back another threat of tears, this time those of relief.
Sam didn’t realize she’d grasped his hand until his gaze shifted to their joined digits, and he quirked an eyebrow. She didn’t let go. She couldn’t.
“Missed you…too, Carter,” he murmured, a half smile forming on his grey lips.
Smiling tightly, Sam continued to clutch his hand as he began to sit up. She helped him as he struggled to orient himself, swaying and fighting off a wave of dizziness. She found a pitcher of water nearby and poured him a cup. “Here, sir, have something to drink.”
Jack took the cup with a frail, shaking hand and took one tentative sip before making a face. “This isn’t water.”
“No, it is to help replenish your strength.”
Both Sam and Jack looked toward the doorway to find Lya entering the hut and moving over to them.
“Tastes weird,” Jack murmured, then when Lya gave him a long, patient look, he drank.
“Will he be okay to come back through the gate with us?” Sam asked cautiously, wanting nothing more than to get her once-lost CO back to Earth.
Lya nodded smoothly. “He will regain some strength shortly.” She waved her hand at him again. “Drink.” Jack complied, and Sam watched him carefully.
.
Sam watched Jack like a hawk the entire trek back to the gate. Whatever Lya had given him to drink had surely restored a great deal of strength-as had the healing ritual the Nox had performed-but he was still quite weak, and Sam insisted that they stopped often.
Having no clothes of his own, Daniel offered Jack the spare BDUs and t-shirt in his pack. Jack had always been leaner than Daniel, but he was solid, and the archaeologist’s clothes wouldn’t have fit him quite so poorly as they did now. In his current state, the pants and t-shirt Jack was wearing completely swamped him, causing Jack to look even more frail and awkward as he slowly trekked toward the gate with his team.
Sam’s heart clenched with sympathy, and she clung to his arm as they reached the gate that the Nox had made visible again before their very eyes. Daniel automatically jogged over to the DHD and began dialing Earth while Teal’c stood by, fingers ready on his GDO. All three of them were clearly anxious to get Jack home.
Jack had been aware that he’d been missing for a while, but when they’d revealed to him that six months had passed, the Colonel was at a loss for words. He didn’t say what had happened to him, or if he even remembered, but Sam caught his dark eyes and saw something in those deep brown orbs that said someday-maybe not soon-but someday he might tell her.
Sam noticed Teal’c and Daniel share a look before they must have decided that they were going to go through the gate first, to give her and Jack a moment. She appreciated it.
“Carter?” Jack was leaning on her a little more now, his legs weakening.
She turned so that she was more or less facing him, one arm firmly around his waist. With her free hand, she gently cupped the side of his face and looked into his eyes as she leaned forward to place a tender kiss on his pale lips. “I knew you weren’t dead. I knew it.”
When she pulled away Sam knew tears were running down her cheeks, but she didn’t care. The confusion on his face quickly morphed into relief, and it pained her to hear his hitched breath.
“Oh God, Carter. I was so afraid that we-“
Sam cut him off with a gentle finger on his lips. His hands were clutching at her waist now. “It’s real, Jack. This is real. You’re back. You came back, and you’re safe.” She pulled him to her, just holding him. They stayed that way for a long moment, then with equal soft sighs, leaning on one another for support, Sam and Jack stepped through the gate. It was time to go home.
.Fin.