Vertigo Chapter 15
Changmin hated every bits of Yunho.
He busied himself with Junsu’s wedding preparation, but there was nothing much left to do anyway. Junsu knew that Changmin was annoyed, but didn’t bring up the topic. And what made Changmin more upset was; Yunho didn’t even try to contact him. But it didn’t mean his anger would go down if Yunho did.
Maybe Yunho was angry with him too.
And that thought switched Changmin’s anger with fear.
*
Changmin wore a simple black blazer on top of his sky blue shirt. He didn’t want to go, but didn’t want to be rude. The exhibition was executed in one of the 5 stars hotel in the city. The ballroom was quite large. The photos were on display with wooden frame on display.
There were five photos on the stage, and Changmin’s were in the middle.
He just stopped and stared. Watching Yunho’s back facing him. Felt like that literally happened right then.
The auction started not long after. He sat on the left side of the stage, along with the other four photo owner for the auction.
His phone vibrated. It was Junsu, asking where he was. Changmin replied and sighed. He knew Junsu was with Yoochun. Junsu asked if he wanted a companion to the auction, but knowing he already set a date with Yoochun, Changmin refused.
Changmin could see the people crowded in front of the stage. He could hear the host talking. But he didn’t listen. His thoughts bothered him too much.
What if Yunho really angry with him? Yunho was always the patient one. He was always the mature and calm one. He always able to gain his composure no matter what kind of storm hit him. And Changmin changed that Yunho.
It was his mistake. How could he blame his mate after what he did?
“The title for this photo is, Sarang. It’s interesting. Does the photographer want to explain more about the title? And of course the object too.” The host gave a look to Changmin.
Changmin shook his head. There was nothing to explain. Yunho wasn’t there anyway. It didn’t matter what he said. His explanation would go in vain.
“No?” the host mouthed at him, and Changmin shook his head again. The host hummed, and continued to the auction.
Sarang. Love.
That was what he wanted to tell Yunho. That was what he wanted to show to him. Sure, they were mate, destined for each other, and Changmin had seen those mates who were together but didn’t love each other. Maybe not yet.
But he has.
He has fallen in love with his mate.
And he wanted Yunho to know that.
Changmin didn’t know how long he had stared at the maroon carpet under his shoes. He didn’t know what was going on around him. From the top five, Changmin’s photo got the least money during the auction. He didn’t care. He didn’t even curious or remembered about the other photos.
He skipped the dinner and got out from the venue. He hailed a taxi and got in, then told the address to the driver.
He was in a mess. He was seeking something that could calm his heart.
*
“I’m sorry to bother you during your date,” Yunho said, shutting the door.
“It’s okay,” Yoochun smiled. He picked Yunho up at the airport. Yoochun was surprised to get a call from the man during dinner with Junsu, but Yunho had helped him a lot for the wedding. It was a small favor to do. “Where are we going?”
Yunho couldn’t answer. “Can you ask where Changmin is right now?” he looked at Junsu.
“Okay,” Junsu quickly texted Changmin, trying not to be too obvious. Luckily, the reply came not long after. “InterCon. Ah right, it must be the exhibition!”
“Exhibition?” Yunho asked.
“Yes! Wait… was it an auction? Well- anyway, Changmin had to go because his photo got chosen.” Junsu said.
Yunho’s mind went blank for a second. So… Changmin wanted him to go to see his photo in an exhibition?
“Then, that’s where we’re going?”
“Yes.”
Yoochun started to drive, seeing Yunho staring outside the window via the rearview mirror. “You’re done with your work?”
Yunho sighed. “Not really. I cancelled it.” His father would surely scold him later.
“Oh.”
Yunho looked at the street emptily. “Changmin was… weird. He was different. He used to be so understanding with all my work and he never complain if we couldn’t go for a date.”
Junsu and Yoochun exchanged a silent glance.
“But he wanted me to come. So badly. And I wonder why… why did he really want me this time? Is it really just a photo exhibition?” Yunho was talking to himself. Eyeing his reflection on the window as the car was unmoving, stuck in traffic.
Yunho felt extremely guilty. He didn’t remember what kind of highschoolers life he had back then, but dating was surely in it. Seeing Yoochun and Junsu, Yunho felt even worse. Changmin must be jealous of them. Jealous of Yoochun who was always there for Junsu. Who was taking care of his mate. Who was always there whenever he needed him.
“We’re here,” Yoochun drove through the gate and stopped near the door.
“Thank you. Sorry for interrupting your date.” Yunho patted Yoochun’s shoulder and smiled to Junsu.
“It’s nothing. Good luck.” Yoochun smiled.
Yunho got off and closed the door. Yoochun looked at Junsu.
“He must care a lot about him.” Junsu said. “I’m glad Yunho is coming back for Changmin.”
Yoochun gave Junsu a soft smile. If only his young mate knew that it was a big decision to make. If only Junsu knew that it meant more than just care, to let go of everything and going back for someone. If only Changmin understood about that too. “Me too, baby.”
*
Yunho saw the exhibition poster and went to the first floor. Entering the ballroom, he could see more than a hundred photos on display, artistically decorated the empty large room. The photos were printed rather largely, and on the bottom of the photo, there was a title, and the name of the photographer.
Should he look for Changmin’s? And where was the boy?
Yunho looked around, eyes moving fast from a photo to another, trying to scan the entire room for Changmin’s name or face.
The boy was nowhere. And so did his photo.
“Yunho!”
Yunho turned around. “Siwon? What are you doing here?”
“I’m here for Soojung, her-“
“What?!” Yunho cut. “How come you’re close with her?!” his inner overprotective oppa came out.
“Chill, man. Actually Jaejoong told me to come since he couldn’t accompany her here. It’s Jaejoong you should be suspicious of,” Siwon replied with a chuckle. “Wait. You’re here. So it means Jaejoong is back too? It’s sooner than I know?”
“No. Jae is still in Japan. Wait, wait. Why is Soojung’s here, by the way?” Yunho had a hard time following the conversation.
“You’re such a bad brother! She submitted her photo for an auction, but didn’t get selected. Her photo was right there, three rows away from the entrance…”
Yunho remembered Junsu said that Changmin’s photo got chosen for the auction. “What about the auction?”
“It was done about an hour ago, I guess? We just had dinner. Soojung already went home. She didn’t seem to please to find out that I came instead of Jaejoong,” he said with a big grin.
“Oh.” Yunho was late. “Did you see Changmin?”
“Changmin?” Siwon asked back.
Yunho took a deep breath. “That Shim Changmin, my trainee. Who is actually my mate.”
“Oh! That one- he’s your mate? Congratulations, Yunho!” Siwon pulled him to a hug and patted his back.
“Th- thanks,” Yunho didn’t expect the positive and sincere expression. Probably he should be going to church every Sunday too. “Yeah, did you see him?” he asked, letting go of the hug.
“I’m afraid I don’t. But I remembered his photo was in the auction.”
“Where is it, then?”
“The bidder already took it, I think. It was on the stage.”
Yunho’s eyes went to the stage. There were only three photos, and two empty displays. “…okay. Thank you.”
“Alright then. See you in the office,” Siwon waved as Yunho left.
On his way out, Yunho didn’t forget to search for Soojung’s photo. Smiling proudly, he took a photo of it.
He tried to call Changmin, but seemed like the younger’s phone was off. His call didn’t get through. Yunho massaged his forehead, went outside and hailed a taxi. Probably Changmin was already home.
As he arrived in front of the house, his guilt built up even more. Mr and Mrs Shim would see how unfit Yunho was for their son. He gulped and knocked.
It was almost 11. He felt worse for thinking how he disturbed their resting time.
He knocked again.
There was sound of steps and the door opened. Mr Shim looked at him in confusion.
“Good night, Mr Shim. I’m sorry of disturb you this late.” Yunho offered him a polite smile.
Mr Shim was already in his pajama, looked at Yunho in confusion. “Yes?”
“Is Changmin home?” he asked carefully.
“No. He went out and hasn’t returned. Have you tried to call him?”
“Yes, but he didn’t answer.” Yunho replied.
“Do you want to wait for him inside?” Mr Shim asked.
“No, thank you, Mr Shim. I think… I’ll try to find him first. I’ll be leaving, then. Sorry for disturbing your night, Mr Shim.” Yunho bowed to him.
“Okay. Good night, Yunho.” Mr Shim nodded and closed the door.
Yunho sighed. Luckily he told the taxi to wait. Where else should he go, then? He had go this far, but there was nothing for him. He went to the park in the neighborhood. But there was no one there. Did Yunho miss him in the ballroom? But he had searched to every corner.
Where was Changmin’s favorite place? He felt bad knowing this little about his mate. Should he call Junsu to ask again? But he had troubled them enough for the night.
“…sir? Sir, where are we going?”
Yunho blinked. They had drove around the neighborhood for some time.
“Sir?”
Yunho told him the address of his apartment.
He looked outside. It was almost midnight but the street got even more alive. People walking by, chatting, laughing,… the world even seemed to mock him right now.
He paid the taxi driver and went in. Went straight to his floor, and opened his door. It was dark. Just like his feeling inside.
Yunho took off his shoes and found another unknown pair beside his.
Who was it?
Did a robber really bother to take off his shoes?
Yunho stilled. Slowly walked inside and looked around. There was no one there. And to think of it, Yunho didn’t have many things in his apartment to rob, anyway.
His bedroom door was half opened and he quietly walked in. There was a familiar scent but Yunho wondered if he just imagining it.
He didn’t. He found Changmin there, sitting on the bed. The curtain was opened, revealing the big windows that showed him the dark sky, contrast to the bright citylights.
Changmin turned around and saw Yunho already staring. He didn’t seem to surprise. Maybe he had smelled Yunho’s scent too. Changmin slowly stood up, facing his mate.
“I was looking for you everywhere,” was what came out from Yunho’s mouth. “I was so damn worried. You’re not in the hotel. You’re not home. Why did you turn off your phone?”
“The battery ran out.” Changmin replied. “Sorry for letting myself in.”
Yunho couldn’t see Changmin’s face clearly, the room was too dark. He shook his head, refusing Changmin’s apology. “This is your home too if you want it.”
Changmin didn’t reply.
“I-“ Yunho stopped his words when he heard Changmin’s sob. Why did he cry?
“I’m sorry…” Changmin said, voice shaky.
Yunho took a step closer, and pulled Changmin in a tight hug. “No, I’m sorry…”
“I thought you’re angry at me. I was too selfish-“ Changmin’s voice was muffled.
Yunho shushed him. “It’s my fault too.”
Changmin hands weakly hugged back. He hid his face under Yunho’s chin, smelling his calming scent and let it invaded his mind.
*
Changmin opened his eyes. The sunlight was annoying and almost hurt his eyes.
Yunho was already awake, leaning to the headboard. He was still wearing his yesterday’s clothes. Well, Changmin did too. The older had his laptop on his lap, busily typing something. “You awake?”
Changmin hummed and shifted closer to Yunho. Put his head beside the older’s waist. He looked up and saw Yunho’s messy hair, dark eyebags, and his stubble shadowed his face. “Did you sleep?”
“I did.” Yunho gave him a small smile, and combed his hair.
Changmin doubt that.
“Are you hungry?”
“Not really.” Changmin was too content to move.
“I called your parents earlier. You better text them too.” Yunho said.
Changmin just hummed.
Yunho went to the bathroom, and Changmin’s phone rang. He quickly answered it. “Hello?”
“Yunho?”
Changmin froze.
It wasn’t his phone! How could he forgot, his phone was dead. And not only his phone. He was also dead. Yunho’s mother was calling. “I- I’m sorry. This is Changmin.”
“Oh. Changmin-sshi.”
Changmin gulped. “Yes, Mrs Jung?”
Yunho came out from the bathroom, but he went straight to the kitchen, didn’t see Changmin desperately calling him nonverbally.
“So you’re with Yunho, yes?”
“Yes, Mrs Jung.” Changmin got up from bed and went to the kitchen.
“Nice. Tell Yunho to go home for breakfast, Changmin-sshi. And you’re invited.”
“Yes, Mrs Jung.” Great. He had said three yesses and he wondered if he sounded dumb.
Yunho turned around from the refrigerator and eyed Changmin confusedly.
“Alright. See you in an hour, then.” Mrs Jung said before disconnecting the call.
Well, at least Changmin didn’t have to say another ‘yes, Mrs Jung’ again.
“Did my mother call you?” Yunho asked.
“No, she called you. I thought your phone is mine.” Changmin took a seat and put his head on the table. “Your mother asked you to come home for breakfast. With me. In an hour.”
“Okay. Let’s… get ready, then?”
*
Changmin borrowed Yunho’s cardigan to cover his wrinkly shirt. He was more nervous than the first time meeting Yunho’s family.
The Jung’s house was fairly big. It really did look like those chaebol houses in the drama. Changmin really liked the garden. The flowers weren’t blossoming but he liked the big trees growing in line on the way to the house.
“Come on,” Yunho offered his hand after they got off the car.
Changmin took it, and breathed deeply.
They didn’t get in, because apparently, Sooae was outside. Sitting in one of the five chairs surrounding the round table in the garden. Soojung was also there.
“Good morning, Mother,” Yunho said, took a seat next to her, and pulled a seat next to him for Changmin, who was also saying his greeting to Mrs Jung.
“You didn’t answer my call earlier.” Sooae said to Yunho, didn’t look to any of them, still reading the magazine.
Changmin exchanged a silent smile to Soojung, hoping he didn’t look as nervous as he really was.
“I was in the bathroom. I told Changmin to answer it.” Yunho poured himself a cup of coffee, and another for Changmin. “Father’s not here?” he asked, munching a biscuit.
“He’s cleaning up your mess.” Sooae finally looked at Yunho. Glaring.
Yunho looked down.
Sooae drank her coffee. “Please help yourself with the food, Changmin-sshi. I heard you modeled for Sooyeon’s winter collection?”
“Yes, I did it with Soojung.” Changmin replied.
“I know. And oh, congratulations by the way, for your acceptance to Seoul National University.” Sooae added.
“Thank you, Mrs Jung.”
Yunho nudged him under the table and gave him two thumbs up silently.
“Oppa, you’re here? Oh, Changmin-sshi, hello,” Sooyeon came at that time. “Fabien hasn’t sent it all to me. There’s only some of it,” she gave her tablet to Sooae, and sat next to her.
Yunho shifted closer to his mother and a look at it curiously. “It’s your photoshoot,” Yunho said to his mate.
Shit. Changmin wanted to see too, but he didn’t dare. He didn’t dare to see how bad he was and didn’t dare to steal a look from Mrs Jung.
“Not bad for a first timer,” Sooae commented.
“Thank you, Mrs Jung,” Changmin couldn’t help but grin. He was just extremely relieved. And from a cold woman like Jung Sooae, wasn’t that a kind of compliment?
“I didn’t say you’re good,” Sooae added swiping her long fingers on the tablet.
Changmin wondered if his grin looked stupid. Well. He didn’t care, though. He still felt happy, somehow, that he was a ‘not bad’ in Sooae’s book.
“Kris models better, though.” Sooae looked at Sooyeon.
“Yes, but he really needs to fix his attitude.” Sooyeon put a layer of peanut butter on her toast.
“I just don’t see a model in here.” Sooae put Sooyeon’s tablet on the table. Changmin’s photo on display.
Changmin wanted to cover it with something.
“Well, he might be bad at it, but Changmin’s photo got in an auction yesterday,” Yunho said to his mother.
Changmin blinked. So Yunho knew? Did he saw his photo too?
“Sorry I cannot come earlier to see it. But I’m happy for you,” Yunho caressed the back of Changmin’s neck. “Soojung’s photo was also in the same exhibition,” he smiled to his youngest sister.
“Really, Soojung?” Sooae looked at her daughter.
Soojung just nodded.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Sooae asked.
“It doesn’t matter. None of you could come, anyway.” Soojung shrugged.
“I would love to come, Soojung. Can you show me your photo?”
“I have it!” Yunho grinned, and he showed the photo he took at the exhibition to his mother.
Sooae smiled widely. “You did a wonderful job,” her eyes were bright as she looked at Soojung.
“Yes. But Changmin Oppa’s photo got auctioned, though. I didn’t.” Soojung stated.
Changmin’s much went slower before he swallowed his toast. He slowly looked at Mrs Jung.
“Well, Changmin-sshi did a better job, then. You can learn from him.” Sooae said.
Changmin smiled to Soojung, thanking her inside his heart.
When Mrs Jung was away, calling her supplier, Yunho took Soojung’s toast before the younger was about to eat it.
“What?” Soojung glared was similar to her mother’s.
“How come you asked Jaejoong to accompany you to the exhibition but didn’t even tell me?” Yunho asked.
Soojung rolled her eyes. “You’re going to Japan anyway.”
“He’s my secretary.” Yunho stated. “He’s going with me.”
Soojung didn’t say anything but took back her toast from Yunho’s hand. Sooyeon just laughed.
“Do you know this?” Yunho looked at Sooyeon.
“We’re sisters.” Sooyeon stated.
“While we’re talking about it, Oppa, can you ask him why Siwon came instead?”
Yunho tsked but called Jaejoong anyway. “Fine.” He eyed his sisters. He put his phone on the table, speaker was on.
Jaejoong’s curse could be heard and Changmin thought it was fortunate Mrs Jung wasn’t around. “Did you see the fucking clock? I just got back and hadn’t slept even a blink-“
“Why do you pick Siwon to accompany Soojung?” Yunho asked straightly.
“He’s handsome. Soojung can show him off to her friends.”
Changmin couldn’t hold his laugh, and Sooyeon joined his. Soojung wasn’t pleased.
Yunho’s eyebrows furrowed. “What kind of logic is that?”
“That logic is owned by a senior secretary. Don’t you wonder what kind of boss he worked with?” Jaejoong replied, then disconnected the call.
Yunho hissed, drank his coffee and looked at Changmin, still laughing with his eyes closed. “Happy?”
Changmin nodded, brushed Yunho’s cheek to get rid of the crumble of the toast.
And that washed Yunho’s stress away.