Vertigo Chapter 14
Yunho woke up early. He always woke up at 6, even without an alarm clock. It somehow became a habit. He’d go for a jog or went to the gym, but that day was an exception. He had a good sleep after a good sex, and as Yunho sat up on the bed, he turned to see his mate.
Changmin was still in a deep sleep, lay on his stomach with his head turned away. Naked like a newborn, the blanket barely covered his body, his ass cheeks could be seen and Yunho inspected if he had left a mark.
He didn’t. He had never played rough with his partner. Yunho pulled the blanket to cover Changmin’s body. He got up, wore his sweatpants and went to the bathroom. He peed and when brushed his teeth, and smiled as he saw Changmin’s toothbrush next to his. It would be a permanent thing in the apartment. He washed his face afterwards, and took a closer look to his reflection on the mirror.
There were some hickeys on his jaw and neck, also his collarbone. The deepest one was on his pulse point, it was almost purple. Yunho found himself grinning proudly like an idiot. He found the basketball shorts he lent Changmin on the floor and threw it to the basket laundry.
He went to the kitchen and wondering what to cook for breakfast, humming happily to himself as he browsed through the fridge. There were eggs and bacon, so he decided to cook American breakfast.
Changmin came when he finished frying the eggs.
“Morning,” Yunho chirped.
Changmin mumbled a reply, hands rubbing his eyes.
“Are you hungry?” Yunho asked, took the freshly toasted bread to put them on clean plates. “Sit down, I’ll bring it to you,”
Changmin walked towards him instead, but didn’t say anything. Probably still half asleep.
“Why?” Yunho asked softly, combed Changmin’s hair with his right hand while the left one busy cooking the bacon.
“I can’t sit down… it hurts…” Changmin said in a small voice.
Yunho turned off the stove. “…your ass?”
“My back too…” he half complained.
Yunho almost felt guilty. He wanted to rub Changmin’s ass but he didn’t know if that was fine. But his eyes caught the boy’s lower half. “You’re wearing my boxer,” he said amusedly.
Changmin flustered. “Because… I can’t find my pants…”
“It’s okay,” Yunho smiled. “Come on, let’s eat.”
The older hold the urge to pinch the boy’s cheek as they were eating. Changmin looked extremely young and innocent with his messy hair, but his skin was glowing and Yunho thought he looked too gorgeous for his own good. He wanted to jump on him again.
“What’s your plan for today?” Yunho asked.
“I’m editing Junsu’s wedding video. And print the photos too.” Changmin got up from his seat to get a bottle of strawberry juice, pour it to both of their glasses.
Yunho grinned happily. Glad that Changmin was comfortable enough in the apartment like in his own home. “Am I in the video?”
Changmin scoffed and bits of eggs flew from his mouth.
Yunho frowned. “I help Yoochun to propose.”
Changmin hummed as he stole a piece of bacon from the older’s plate. “I’ll consider it.”
“Anyway, have you think about that offer? Modeling for Sooyeon?” Yunho asked. “I’m accompanying her to buy some fabrics today. She’ll ask me again for sure.”
Changmin chewed his food slowly. “…are you gonna model too?”
“No, I’m not good enough apparently.” Yunho shrugged. “But Soojung had modeled for the last year’s season. And she will be too for this winter collection.”
Changmin chewed on his fork, seemed to be in a deep thought.
“The pay is good,” Yunho added with a wink. “Then you can treat me some snack or a dinner.”
Changmin snorted. “Why do I have to treat you?”
“I’m your manager!”
Changmin laughed. “Fine. I’ll do it, then.”
Yunho chuckled, brushed Changmin’s hair with his fingers.
*
“Hyung! Congrats!” Taemin patted Changmin’s back during lunch.
“What?” Changmin almost chocked on his jjampong.
“Haven’t you seen the announcement? Your photo is one of the five which will be auctioned in the exhibition!”
Changmin blinked. What photo?
“So they emailed Krystal and I, saying unfortunately our photo weren’t chosen, but will be featured in the exhibition.”
Junsu only eyed him in confusion.
Taemin finally saw their face expression. “Hyung, it’s the Urban Life Photography Exhibition for Charity. Don’t you remember? We submitted our photos last week.”
“Oh!” Changmin’s mind clicked a second away. Wait, his photo got in? He forgot about that auction at all.
“I gotta go now, Hyung. I haven’t done my homework. See you!” Taemin waved at him as he walked away.
“You win?” Junsu asked, almost dumbly. “Do you get money?”
“It’s an auction for charity,” Changmin stirred his noodle. “My photo got chosen for the auction.”
“Uh… congrats?” Junsu wasn’t sure what that was all about. “Look, Hyori-sshi just sent me a picture of our cupcake!” he was distracted and showed a photo in his phone.
Changmin took a look and seeing the cupcake, topped with the decoration that looked like tuxedo.
“Yunho-sshi really help a lot! Hyori-sshi’s husband, Chunhee-sshi is making our wedding souvenir. He introduced us to them.”
“Really?” Changmin smiled too, glad Yunho could make the wedding plan easier. Glad Yunho was close to his bestfriend. Glad because of Yunho in general.
“By the way, we’re picking up Yoochun’s brother today from the airport.”
“Where’s he from?”
“He’s studying in America,” Junsu replied. “Coming home for the wedding.”
Changmin hummed.
“It really makes me realize how soon I’m going to get married.”
“Oh god, yes.” Changmin’s eyes widened. He just realized that too.
*
Changmin was already waiting near the gate, and Soojung came not long after.
“Are you nervous, Oppa?” Soojung asked as they walked together.
Changmin smiled awkwardly. “It’s my first time.”
Sooyeon had contacted him yesterday, telling him how glad she was that Changmin was willing to model for her. And today, she told him to go with Soojung to her studio for meeting only. They weren’t going to take the real photos yet, but maybe some trial.
Yunho texted him too that morning, encouraging him. Telling him no need to be nervous because Sooyeon was nice and he was going with Soojung anyway. Well, that what made him nervous. Surrounded by the Jung clan. Hopefully he wouldn’t do anything stupid in front of Yunho’s sisters. And hopefully Mrs Jung wouldn’t present too.
The studio was nothing but a room with white wall on every side. One woman and two men were present, chattering around a wooden table. Papers were everywhere, mugs of coffee were on them.
“Oh, Changmin-sshi!” Sooyeon quickly walked over. “Hello, nice to meet you. I’m Jung Sooyeon,”
“Hello,” Changmin bowed back to her.
Jung Sooyeon was a little taller than Soojung. She has a pretty little nose, pretty little lips, and beautiful eyes. Sooyeon only dressed casually in knitted sweater and jeans. She slipped a strand of her auburn hair as she smiled at him, and Changmin wondered if she looked like a Barbie with her features.
“I want to introduce our replacement for Kris, this is Shim Changmin everyone,” Sooyeon said, put her hand on Changmin’s back.
Changmin quickly greeted everyone else.
“Changmin-sshi, this is Fabien, our photographer,” Sooyeon pointed to a foreigner. “And that’s Kyungsoo, he’s my assistant. Ah, let’s take a seat first, guys. Changmin-sshi, do you want something to drink?” she asked.
“No, thank you,” Changmin smiled politely, sitting next to Soojung on one side of the table, and Sooyeon seated in front of them.
“Alright. So, our concept is lovers in winter. We’ll take the photos outdoor, but some in the studio for individual shot. We’ll do the photoshoot tomorrow and the day after. Kyungsoo will take your measurement after this for the clothes and Fabien will take some photos for trial.” Sooyeon smiled to him. “Anyway, these are some example of what we’ll do tomorrow. Not exactly the same, but something with these kind of feel,” she showed him some fashion pictorial and movie shots. Couples walking side by side under trees, by the river, on a boat, museum…
Changmin caught the similarity of the way The Jungs speak. Always straight to the point and well-structured.
Sooyeon stood up, and looked at Changmin. “Follow me,” she said to him, and Changmin did. “Can you take off your-“
“Everything?” Kyungsoo added, made Changmin gasped. He didn’t even realize the assistant was already there too.
Sooyeon scoffed. “No, just your jacket. Off, please.”
“Okay.” Changmin didn’t know what else to do, so he took off his jacket.
“He’s a size bigger than Kris, I guess…” Sooyeon eyed him from head to toe.
Kyungsoo hummed. “We don’t need to change anything, then?”
“More scarves,” Sooyeon said, and Kyungsoo wrote it down.
Kyungsoo looked at Changmin’s foot. “Shoes probably the same too?” he took a pair of leather shoes and put them in front of Changmin.
Changmin took off his sneakers and tried the shoes. It was a little tight, but very comfortable. Probably the material. “It fits.”
“Great!” Sooyeon grinned widely.
“Do you have enough fun with the boy?” Fabien asked from the other side. “I’m done with Soojung,”
Changmin changed his shoes, wearing his sneakers again. Sooyeon told him to go to Fabien.
The photographer told him just to stand in front of the white wall, began taking photos of him. Fabien arranging the light, turning it on, and took another photos.
It was something new for Changmin. He used to be the one taking photos, but now, he became the object. He preferred to be the photographer, though.
*
There were definitely more people in the studio than yesterday. There was another photography crew, helping Fabien arranging the set, and a makeup artist. Kyungsoo was hanging the clothes when he saw Changmin.
He told him to wait for Sooyeon in the makeup section.
It was only 6.30. He was nervous and afraid he’d be late. Going out at 6 and refusing the warm breakfast his mother offered, Changmin arrived much earlier. He looked at the colorful makeup palette in interest. About ten minutes later, Sooyeon and Soojung arrived, both carrying cups of coffee for the staff.
“Oh, Changmin-sshi? You’re here already?” Sooyeon looked at Changmin in surprised. “Seulgi-ah, you can start the makeup first, yeah?” she said, taking off her coat and hung it. “Soojung, come here,”
As she followed her sister, Soojung gave Changmin a cup of coffee, and there was something underneath it. A tie.
Changmin could only stare as Seulgi held his face to put some concealer on.
“Yunho Oppa,” Soojung said quietly and smirked.
Changmin bit his lip, tried to hold his smile and mouthed a thank you to Soojung.
Soojung nodded and followed Sooyeon with muffin between her teeth.
Changmin breathed out slowly, thumbed the silken tie on his lap. Slowly, he could smell Yunho’s scent without lifting the tie to his nose between the scent of the powder and other makeup stuff. When Seulgi was drawing his eyebrows, Soojung came and sat next to Changmin. Hair still wet.
“Only blow dry for Krystal, do not curl it.” Sooyeon said to the hairdresser. “Oh, Seulgi love, love the makeup-“ she hugged Seulgi’s waist.
“This one’s really gorgeous,” Seulgi said, eyeing Changmin on the mirror.
“Yes…” Sooyeon hissed as she went to the set. “Yunho Oppa is a lucky bastard.”
Soojung laughed at that.
*
Changmin had a hard time. It felt so awkward. Standing in front of the camera, with the lighting so bright, and everybody seemed to stare. The winter was coming, and the room felt cold, even with the heater. But still, Changmin could feel the sweat rolled down his back under the loose sweater he wore. The turtleneck felt like choking him. His palms were sweaty.
Seulgi came over again to dab his sweat off his forehead and reapplied the powder on his face. “Is it hot for you?”
Changmin didn’t answer. He couldn’t. His throat felt dry. After Seulgi left, Fabien started again.
“Look at the lamp, Changmin- yes, hold that.”
Snaps of lights went on and off and Changmin didn’t know how many photos they had taken. And when Seulgi came over for the fourth time, Fabien asked if they could give a break for Changmin.
Of course they knew that Changmin needed it. He wondered if he was really sucked.
“I’m sorry,” Changmin said as soon as he saw Sooyeon.
Sooyeon just smiled and handed him a bottle of water.
Changmin drank it and heard Fabien voicing praises for Krystal.
“There are so few people like her. She’s good from the start.” Sooyeon eyed her sister proudly. “We don’t expect you to be good at the first try. But you should try to relax, Changmin-sshi.” she said. “You already have the asset.”
Sooyeon patted Changmin’s shoulder and went to Fabien, checking the result.
They went out for the next shot. Taking the busy crowd looking for lunch for background, Changmin and Soojung were standing across the street. Changmin could faintly hear the instructions. He looked at the light turned green, but it was Soojung who held his hand first and walked. His mind clicked a second away.
“Again.” Fabien said. “I need you to look around, left, right, and the camera. Understand?”
They did it again.
And again.
Until they went for a break. They went for the last venue, waiting for the sunset in Han River and ate the late lunch.
Changmin took his bag and took out his phone, and he almost forgot that he brought his camera.
When he checked his phone, he found out that he had three missed calls from Yunho. One last night, a little after 11. Changmin was already sleeping. The other was during the photoshoot. And what a timing, Yunho called again.
“Changmin?”
“Hello, Yunho-sshi,” Changmin walked away from the crew to answer the call.
“How’s the photoshoot?” Yunho asked.
Changmin wanted to cry- and he almost. “Oh God, it was awful… I mean, not the photoshoot, I mean me. It was so awkward.”
Yunho just listened.
Changmin sighed. “What if I ruin it all?”
“You won’t, Changmin. Calm down. Sooyeon saw that you can do it, and I believe in you too.”
Changmin bit his lip and looked down. His boots were untied for the fashion purpose. He sat on empty bench as he fumbled with his camera. “I’ve never known that I can be so bad in something.”
Yunho laughed. “There are several things I’m bad at too.”
Changmin’s lips twitched to a smile.
“Are you done yet? Do you want me to pick you up?”
“Not yet. You’re done with work?”
“No, but I can spare some time.” Yunho answered. “I want to be there to make you feel better, Changmin.”
Changmin hoped he didn’t blush. “I already feel better. Thank you.” He bit his lip again, this time wasn’t because he was nervous, but to hold his stupid grin. “Ah, by the way, Yunho-sshi, are you free-“
“Wait, hold that, Min,” Yunho cut him, and there was no sound heard for about ten seconds. “I’m sorry, Changmin. I gotta go now. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Okay.” Changmin hid his disappointment.
The staffs were chatting while eating the snack, and Changmin took that opportunity to take some photos for himself.
*
It was Sunday, but unfortunately he couldn’t meet Yunho-sshi. The older went to China for a business trip and wouldn’t be back until Tuesday.
About his photoshoot, well, Changmin felt that he did it better than the first day. Maybe he was getting used to it. He was relieved everytime Sooyeon nodded in approval or Fabien said ‘good’. And Sooyeon gave him a coat and a scarf for gift. He didn’t expect she’d pay him, but she did. It was quite big amount for Changmin.
On Tuesday night, Changmin received a bucket of flowers.
Congratulations!
-Jung Yunho-
“Thank you for the flower!” Changmin called Yunho. “But how do you know?”
“One of my friends is a lecturer in SNU.” Yunho grinned.
Changmin’s brows furrowed. Lecturer? SNU?
“I’m happy you’re accepted!”
Oh.
“Ri- right…” Changmin cleared his throat. His mind was too preoccupied with the photoshoot and he forgot to check the university acceptance announcement last Friday. He put Yunho on speaker and checked his email.
There was an unread email from Seoul National University, saying that he got accepted and his eyes moved fast to read the rest of the email.
He thought Yunho knew that his photo was selected for the charity. He wanted Yunho to come. He wanted Yunho to see it, see himself. He wanted Yunho to see himself in Changmin’s eyes.
“Uh, Yunho-sshi, are you free this Saturday?”
He wanted Yunho to see it himself. Because Changmin wasn’t sure if he could say his feelings.
“I’m afraid I can’t, Changmin. I have several appointments in Japan for this week.”
Changmin knew he should predict that answer. But Yunho just got back! Why was he going again? “It’s Saturday.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Changmin pulled the petal off the flowers. “Alright, then. You must be busy. Talk to you later.”
*
Yunho frowned.
He hated himself but he just couldn’t help it. He believed Changmin would understand. It happened many times before. Sure, Changmin would be upset, but it would be fine. He believed Changmin was mature enough to accept that Yunho couldn’t be always there for him 24/7.
Yunho asked Sooyeon about the photoshoot, and Sooyeon said, “He’s still learning.”
So Changmin was really not good enough?
“Good enough, but still not very good. I believe he’s getting there, though.” Sooyeon said. “Where are you going?” she sat on Yunho’s bed, watching him packed his things.
“Japan.” He carefully folded his suits.
“When?”
“Tomorrow night. I have to go to the office first. There are still some papers need to be done.”
Sooeyon hummed.
“Anyway, there’s one thing I want to ask you, though.” He looked at her.
Sooyeon raised her eyebrows at him.
Yunho made sure his door was closed and began to talk quietly, “If mother ask, can you say that Changmin is good?”
“What kind of request is that.” Sooyeon replied flatly.
“She judged him too hard during our dinner. I hate how she made Changmin uncomfortable.” Yunho threw his towel to his luggage.
“She’s just being herself, I guess?”
“Yeah… I know. But still, he’s my mate.” Yunho sat next to Sooyeon.
“I understand you think that she’s too hard on him. But you stated the reason yourself. He’s your mate. And mother only wants the best for you, Oppa, you’re her first child and a son too.” Sooyeon said. “The first time you told us that you’ve found your mate, she was a little off. She made mistakes at work, even her staffs asked me at that time.”
Yunho didn’t know he could cause that big impact on the mighty Jung Sooae.
“She… cares. More than you think.” Sooyeon added, patted Yunho’s thigh. “You shouldn’t be too hard on her.”
Yunho breathed out. He put his hand on top of Sooyeon’s, and gave his sister a smile.
*
Junsu was getting married next week.
Changmin would freak out, but the future groom seemed more relaxed than before. He even gained back the weight he lost, and his tailor was annoyed that he had to change the measurement again. Changmin was accompanying Junsu for fitting his suit.
“Why are you so gloomy today? Didn’t you say you received flowers from Yunho-sshi?” he asked when they got out.
Changmin sighed deeply. “Do you remember the photography exhibition?”
Junsu nodded.
“I just really want Yunho to come with me but-“
“He’s working.”
“Exactly.” Changmin shrugged.
“Well. Just ask him again, then. Talk to him, eye to eye.”
*
So Changmin took the chance.
It was already 5 and people just got off from work, as well as the Jung Corp staffs. When he arrived in Yunho’s floor, Jaejoong was there, chatting with another staff.
“Is Jung Yunho still here?” Changmin asked without greeting, afraid he was late and Yunho was already gone. He couldn’t contact the man, so probably Yunho was still busy in the office.
“Yes,” Jaejoong nodded. “He’s in his room.”
“Thank you,” Changmin replied, and quickly went to Yunho’s room. Without knocking.
Yunho was typing something in his computer, completely unaware of Changmin’s presence. His room was dark, seemed like he didn’t have the time to even turn the lights on.
“Yunho-sshi,” Changmin called.
Yunho turned his head as soon as he heard Changmin’s voice. His eyes widened. “Changmin?”
“Yeah… hi. Sorry to disturb you for a while... but…”
Yunho typed some more, maybe a final sentence, before finally gave his attention back to Changmin. “Yes?”
Changmin sat slowly on an empty seat in front of Yunho’s desk. “Can you spend some time with me this Saturday?” he knew he already asked that, and he already knew the answer too. But he wanted to give it another try.
“I will be in Japan. I’m sorry I can’t, Changmin.”
“Can’t you go home earlier?”
Yunho stilled. He didn’t expect Changmin to ask him again.
“I have to meet an important client. It’s the contract deal we’ve been working on for a year.” Yunho said. He sounded tired.
Changmin knew he hadn’t even known Yunho for a year. Probably that client was more important than him.
“Why?” Yunho asked. “It used to be fine. We can’t always date during weekends, but you were fine with it. Why is it different with this one?”
“There is something I want to tell you… something I want to show you… can’t you come?”
Yunho looked at his mate. “Can’t you just say it here right now?”
Changmin’s fist clenched. “Do you really cannot come?” he hated to beg, but if he would if he had to. “Please?”
Yunho’s soft breaths could be heard. “I am so sorry, Changmin. I want to, but-“
“Then why can’t you?” Changmin cut him.
“I know you want me to go with you, and I want to go too. But things aren’t as simple as that. I have responsibilities, Changmin, don’t you get it?” Yunho was tired. He couldn’t control his tone and his voice rose at Changmin.
That was the first time Yunho snapped at him. And it made Changmin realized, he had stepped on the line.
Yunho ran his fingers through his hair frustatedly and sighed. “I’m sorry. But I hope you understand-“
“Then why can’t you understand me?” Changmin asked back. “I don’t want your sorry. I just ask you for one day.”
There was a knock on his door.
The silence was deafening. Until the knock heard again. “Yunho, you have ten minutes,” Jaejoong voice could be heard.
Changmin stood up. “Sorry for wasting your time.”
The door seemed to be more far than before. He just walked faster, until his hand reached the door knob, twisted it, and got out. He could hear Yunho’s steps behind him, chasing him.
“Changmin-“
“It’s the rush hour. We’ll be late to the airport,” Changmin heard Jaejoong said. He quickly got in the elevator, pushing the button and wished to disappear quickly.