When I was 4 or 5, I fantasized about killing my parents.  I imagined blowing them away while they played tennis.  This was 1987.  It wouldn't be the last time I thought of something like that.

I didn't relish the thought; I knew it was wrong, but I was so overcome with anger and resentment that I couldn't help but think of that.

They were wrong, ( Read more... )

It was around 2 am and the graveyard was dark and deserted; only a light breeze, and the ruffling of the leaves on the ground and in the trees, made any remark about the vehicle making its way down the roadway that divided the yard.  The vehicle came to a stop, motor humming quietly, headlights illuminating a couple of graves about 20 feet away.   ( Read more... )

The person standing in front of Ted had promised him revenge on his tormentors.  All he had to do was shake on it; but, there was a condition.  These things were so predictable, fine print and all that yada yada... Ted had had enough.  Just get the fuck on with it, already.

He shook, not even caring about the cost.  He'd figure that out later; ( Read more... )

Myself and my brothers are chilling.  They won't stop raiding the fridge, the fucking freeloaders.  Every time I pull out something to eat, they appear from out of nowhere and start mooching.  Trying to evict them, but they're family; it's hard to kick your family out.  It's definitely possible, though.  I know because it happened to me.

At this ( Read more... )

Fairy tales.  That's the energy that shaped my DNA.  Like a flag blowin' in the invisible wind.  I was supposed to magically forget all this when I turned 18.  The irons keeping me in the bondage of minorhood were supposed to unclasp and fall to the ground, like the golden handcuffs that enshackled Robin Williams' Genie, and I was supposed to flit ( Read more... )

You take something healthy and good, and you smash it apart to bits; break it up into its constituents, and what are you left with?  A million different flavors of poison.  You take a bunch of poisons and mix them together in just the right proportions; you get the building blocks of life.  So how do you weigh everything?  Is it possible to wrap ( Read more... )

Even at the very start, I knew I was dealing with the devil.  But my 21 year old spirit was overwhelmed by intrigue and curiosity.  I had leapt over, broken out, of the pasture fence that defined the ends of my known world (I hate to use the overused Matrix reference, but there it is).  I was a sheep desperately trying to dress myself up as a wolf ( Read more... )

When I was younger, I was a dreamer.  Idealist to the core, which was pure naivete.  Whatever I set my heart on, I went for it, 3 sheets unfurled.  I was like a dog going after a squirrel.  The world was my oyster, and I was gonna get that pearl.  One way or another.  I had the typical when-I-grow-up ideas that all kids have; actor, rock star, ( Read more... )

The cover art was supposed to feature a dragon, but it didn't look like one; rather, it looked more like, I don't know, a demon or something.  I would've chalked this up to just careless work, like, it's for a game aimed at 8 year olds, who gives a fuck?  But the rest of the picture looked perfect.  Why would the one thing be off?  Did they just ( Read more... )

A few years ago (maybe more than a few) I wrote a post contemplating what it means to be Canadian.  Here's what I've finally concluded, after contemplating it every day for.. fuck, what has it been, almost 20 years?!  17, at least.  Time flies when you're not having fun, too, I guess.

The thing about Canata that everyone likes to forget on purpose ( Read more... )