I am hungover, so am allowed to do these very slowly.

[normalhumanbein]

 For

Comments

[joyfulseeker]

Yay! I loved that last line, and the bit where John writes, "You're shit. Trust me." Thank you!

[normalhumanbein]

*glees*

John Constantine is many things, but a fan of Fall Out Boy is not one of them.

[joyfulseeker]

Though that would be HILARIOUS. He would be totally embarrassed about it, and as a result would be even more of an asshole to them in person than he would normally.

(John Constantine: Closeted Fall Out Boy Fan)

[normalhumanbein]

He'd take the CD to the counter sandwiched between Compact Snap and Construction Time Again, and make a big deal about how it was a *present* for someone who was *not him* because he *does not like them*.

[joyfulseeker]

(am not getting flashbacks to buying NSYNC CDs, I'm not, dammit.)

It would all have been Chaz's niece's fault anyway. Also, it scares away demons (or at least makes them look at him funny for that one crucial second).

[normalhumanbein]

He played them backwards once. If kids really are encoding satanic messages in songs these days, then someone wants to give the Devil a hug and some time to talk about his feelings.

[joyfulseeker]

ARGH. I might in fact pay you GOOD HARD CASH to write the story of how Patrick sent chiding messages to Satan on From Under Cork Tree.

[normalhumanbein]

Oh God. He'd just come in one day to find Pete standing by the record player, forcing the vinyl backwards and asking sternly, "What the hell is this?"

[joyfulseeker]

And he'd blink and say, "Wow. How statistically unlikely is that?" lying through his teeth, while Pete looked at him, unconvinced.

[normalhumanbein]

"Just so you know, when we're all roasting on gurney in Hell and Joe wants to know why, I'm blaming you."

[joyfulseeker]

"Hey, it wasn't me," Patrick would say, and Pete would snort, saying, "Yeah, 'cause that's totally not your voice saying, 'Ha-satan, please get couples counseling.'"

[normalhumanbein]

"Hey, you wrote it. Don't shoot the messenger."

"They're not going to shoot us, Patrick," Pete points out. "They're going to torture us. Over fire. With forks."

[joyfulseeker]

"They're not going to torture us," Patrick says serenely. "I got special dispensation."

[normalhumanbein]

Pete's only reaction to the news that Patrick has a direct line to the devil is to blink three times, very rapidly. "And to think," he says eventually, "your mom thought I was a bad influence. Jesus. She birthed the Antichrist. No offence."

[joyfulseeker]

"She did not," Patrick says irritably. "It was, like, two hundred years ago, and also, totally irrelevant to this conversation. Why were you even listening to our album backwards, anyway?"

"Holy shit," Pete says. "I can't remember if I ever sold my soul to you." He vaguely remembers desperately needing clean laundry a couple years ago, and fast-talking Patrick into washing a load of jeans, underwear, and t-shirts for him.

[normalhumanbein]

"Only once, but it just skulked around in corners making this strange whining noise and refusing to register pain, so Dad sent it back. He's not actually my dad," Patrick adds a moment later. "He just likes it when I call him that."