Playing Nice with Others

[zenturbo]

I went to my first public Wiccan ritual in years the other day.  To protect the innocent, I'm not naming people, places and/or what was done.  It was quite intense and emotional, and a lot of good work came out of it.  The problem I had was a participant who I found to be grating.  They seemed nice, but quite the drama queen trying to upstage

Comments

[brewhexe]

Unfortunately a considerable amount of pagans are drama llamas in real life, and it seems they think they won't get taken seriously unless they are overtly OTT, or babble constantly about their heritage, skills, or how 'psychic' they are. It is annoying but is also a fact of life.

You may want to ask the people who arranged it if they have had any feedback about the ritual - you may not have been the only one to notice this. Otherwise I am afraid you will just have to get used to it.

I am slightly boggled about public wiccan rituals. I always thought Wiccans kept their workings to themselves. They do over here anyway. Most public rituals in the UK are generic-neopaganism.

[snowwy]

Most public workings in the US are "eclectic wicca". Pardon the sorry state of our lexicon- it's basically the same thing. Fluffies have so assaulted the term wicca in an effort to claim it for their own that this is about as good as it gets here.

[brewhexe]

A similar thing has happened over here with the word 'witch'. Most cruddy authors use it to mean 'what we want to call Wiccan, but we know the Wiccans will kick our behinds for doing so'. So black and midnight hags like me get annoyed instead, but there are less of us and we don't carry athames, so they ignore us. :)

[smarriveurr]

Most witches I know do have access to kitchen knives, though, and no injunction to avoid shedding blood with 'em...

Just sayin'...

[snowwy]

Definitely tell them. Hell, send them what you just wrote without modification. If they know who you're talking about, then they'll surely either agree or disagree and your choice will be clear. And since your writing above hinted that they're in the coven that put it on, perhaps it will be impetus on the others to pressure this person to stop hamming it up.

If you're at all worried about drama focused on you, contact the HP/HPs discreetly. But say something, otherwise you will find yourself drifting away again because you left the choice in another's hands.

[zenturbo]

The people who put it on were from a coven, but this was a special event that they put on for the season, and therefore not all members were present. To be honest, there were only about eight of us and if the group was a bit larger, it probably would not of phased me. I'm not too concerned about drama focused on me, as I have been known to be as blunt as a sledgehammer to the face when someone bothers me.

[boy_pastiche]

What if this is a chance for you to examine yourself?

[madfedor]

Meaning?

[boy_pastiche]

sometimes really horrid, obnoxious people that just irritate a body are there to teach us an indirect lesson about ourselves. Something we don't like or need to internalise. The irritation can be the universe;s way of getting one's attention.

[madfedor]

Sorry, but I raised three children, and I never took them to public events of any kind that they were not old enough to attend without being a disruption. I do not accept rudeness on that level from other parents, I don't tolerate it in adults, and the universe is capable of teaching me lessons without ruining others' days as well.

It is my expectation that a person who has that intense of a connection to the energy of ritual will have a proportionate awareness of common courtesy.

If zenturbo agrees with you, all fine and good. I don't see it as a possibility, though.

Definately mention it

[irishwiccan74]

I agree and think you should definately make your discomfort known. If you felt that way, odds are 20 other people feel the same way and are all too sensitive to this persons feelings to say anything. having run my share of open rituals i know its important to be accepting to everyone's experience in ritual and everyone does things a little differently, but what usually ends up happening is the group will be left with 3 drama queens and all the quality energy workers leave because they just aren't comfortable and the purpose for the group then becomes a social situation or just completely different then intended. How the leaders of this public group deal with this kind of sensitive situation will tell you if they are serious about providing for the stable and serious Pagan community or if they are just there to make nice and get out of the house.

[nenaknight]

I agree with you that as a solitary, someone that gets over the top is very distractive. I have had a similar situation. I did talk to the HPs and she agreed that this particualr person at the "event" was just like anyone we can work with. If you are yelling loudly about how "great" you are most people are just trying to convince themselves of that fact out of fear of really not having "it" or failure.

The HPs did give me some advise that I will pass on and hope it helps you too... "As a solitary, you can control when and where and the level of disturbances while working your craft, use this as a learning tool to be able to do work when your surroundings are not so calm. You may find that you can have more control in all situations, not just path wise."

Take it for what you will, hope it helps you. I did find that with a bit of practice I am able to be more focused in just about any situation now.

Thank You

[zenturbo]

That is very good advice. I had to keep telling myself to focus and my mind open the entire time, and not do anything that I would regret.

Most of the time when I practice on my own, the only disturbances are the occasional cat that wants to get cudddly and/or the curious bystander that's polite enough to leave me alone when they see me in the park meditating.