Now What?
Title: Now What?
Rating: PG
Summary: Continuation of Tell Me I'm Wrong, Please... Stay, Not Yet, Don't, That's Kinda Hot, Never, Sigma
Washington stood just inside the door to his quarters, knowing he only had ten minutes left before he had to be at the implantation room but still unable to force himself through the door. Maine was rubbing his back softly. "It's gonna be okay. You'll just stand there and they-"
"You've told me a dozen times already what the process is like," Wash murmured.
Maine sighed. "I'll be right outside, okay? You'll walk out just fine and I'll be standing there. And when you're done with your psych evaluation, come on back to my quarters and I'll make sure you aren't thinking about anything but how good this feels," he ended with a soft laugh as he rubbed his hand across Washington's stomach and dipped just a hair lower for a moment.
Wash closed his eyes and took hold of Maine's hand, bringing it up to his chest and pressing it there. After a moment he nodded silently and opened his eyes again. "I love you," he said. Turning to look at Maine, he forced a little smile and rested his hand against his cheek.
"I love you, too," Maine said. "Now come on, I'll walk with you there."
Wash laced his fingers into Maine's, wishing more than anything he could hold his hand as they went but knowing it was impossible. He gave a last squeeze and then they let go, leaving the safety of Wash's quarters and heading down the hall side by side. "Who all has got theirs now?" he asked, having mostly kept himself out of the loop as far as that was concerned.
"Um, lemme see. I think so far it's Wyoming, Montana, Jersey, York, North, Tex, Oregon... I forget who all. Probably would be quicker to list who hasn't."
"And they're all fine?"
Maine cracked a grin. "Well, some of them weren't fine to begin with," he said, then quickly added, "but yeah, they're fine."
Wash nodded and seemed to relax a little. They walked the rest of the distance in silence, but Maine could tell he was becoming more easy with the idea. When they reached the implantation lab, Maine put his hand on Wash's shoulder for a last moment of support, then Wash walked on ahead into the room and Maine leaned back against the wall just outside.
The minutes ticked by slowly. Maine was tapping the back of his head against the wall as he waited. "Hey... Sigma?"
"Hello! How may I be-"
"Dude, I already told you you can drop the formalities. It's kind of annoying."
Sigma's projection flickered somewhat. "How would you prefer me to acknowledge you?"
"I dunno," Maine said. "Something less... rigid. Can't you sound a bit less like a computer?"
"I am a program," he pointed out, "but I will do my best. What else can I do for you?"
Maine wasn't really sure why he had called Sigma up, other than he just did not want to be alone as he waited. Something about Wash's unease had rubbed off on him and he just felt better having someone else nearby; or at least the sensation of someone else.
"Ah. I understand."
Maine was confused for a moment. Had he said that out loud? "Wait, what? I didn't say anything."
"You did not have to. I am in your head, Maine."
"Oh. Uh, right."
"May I ask you something?"
Maine shrugged. "Sure, go ahead."
"Why?"
"Why wha- oh. Heh." Maine was beginning to understand what it meant to have someone else in your head. A lot less needed to be said than usual. "Oh, that. Um..." A little smile pulled at his lips and he felt that wonderful warmth in his chest like he always got when he thought of Wash. He also realized that he didn't have to say anything, he could tell that what he was thinking, Sigma was picking up on and even responding to.
Each new thought that surfaced was brought to life as Sigma gleaned it from his thoughts, enhancing the memories to almost real. He could practically hear Wash whispering in his ear, almost feel his body next to him. He could feel - more than he had even realized - just how much of himself was wrapped up in Washington.
When Sigma was finished, he projected himself again, seeming to glow brighter than he had before. "That is beautiful, Maine."
Maine smiled and rested his head back on the wall again. "Yeah. He sure is," he murmured.
Whatever Sigma was going to say next was lost in the gut-wrenching scream that came from the implantation room. Maine's eyes flew open and panic jumped inside him. "Was that-"
He saw Wash go down and a group of doctors rush to his side. Maine wanted to be right there as well but something was holding him back as if physically preventing him from moving.
"No, Maine! Let the doctors care for him. He would not want you to risk exposing yourselves to scrutiny by losing your head now."
Maine was staring through the doorway, horrified. He was gripping the edge of the wall so tight he felt as if he might bend the steel. "I can't just do nothing!"
"There is nothing you can do. Let the doctors tend him now. When he has recovered from this initial implantation difficulty, your care and support will be exactly what he needs then, but it must stay confined to the privacy of your quarters."
"What's going on? What's wrong with him?" Maine watched with disbelief as the doctors struggled to bring Wash under control, strapping him down to a gurney at last and wheeling him out the other side of the lab.
"It is possible that he is having a greater adverse reaction to his program than you had to mine."
"No, shit! Ya think?"
"It is likely it will pass before long."
"But not definitely!"
"No."
"This is fucking bullshit!"
"I am sorry, Maine."
Maine felt like he had been stabbed in the chest. For a moment he couldn't move, couldn't do anything but stare at the door that had closed between himself and the man he loved, who was in who knows what kind of danger or pain. He was shaking with fear and rage combined.
"Maine, come away from the door. There is nothing you can do."
He did not want to go. He had told Wash he would wait outside and somehow leaving felt like breaking that promise. But Wash was not coming out. He did not even know where they had taken him. At Sigma's gentle but firm prompting, he finally tore himself away. The walk back to his quarters felt surreal.
He sat on his bed and stared ahead, unseeing. He felt numb. What the fuck was going on? What had happened back at the lab? It felt like it had all happened too fast and he hadn't even had time to really process it all.
It felt as if any moment, Wash should walk through the door, as if he had dreamed it or something. But Wash never came, and the hours passed and Maine finally felt as if he was going to snap. "I have to do something," he said at last and went to the gym, beating his fists bloody against a punching bag.
By the time he had exhausted his fight, the news had spread and it was not long before York had come up to him, standing a few feet away and watching as he sat with his back to the wall and bandaged his knuckles. "You heard about Wash, right?"
Maine looked up and shook his head. Technically, that was true - he didn't' really know a damn thing, so he figured anything York had to tell him would be news.
"Rumor is he got a bad variant. Some issue with the algorithms or some shit."
"Is... is he gonna be okay?"
York shrugged. "I don't really know any more than you do," he said, and Maine couldn't help but think that there was something more hidden behind his words. "Last I heard he was in the med-bay, hooked up to a bunch of sensors."
The tightness in Maine's chest was making it hard to even breathe. He couldn't swallow past the lump in his throat, he couldn't seem to make his mind focus on anything but that scream he had heard. The punching bag had exhausted him physically but his mind was still buzzing with worry over the unknown. He didn't even realize when York had crouched down beside him and put a hand on his shoulder.
"I know you're worried," he said softly. "I mean, we all are, but I know you are more than anyone."
Maine felt a moment of panic, but that quickly faded when he saw the look on York's face. He wasn't there to threaten or blackmail. He was genuinely worried for both of them. Maine almost started to cry and York pulled him into an embrace. "It'll be okay. The doctors will sort everything out. We're expensive pieces of military property, after all."
They parted and Maine sat back again. "Thank you, York," he said. "I... I just... I don't know what to do. What can I do?"
"Well, I can stick around if you don't want to be alone. Otherwise, I guess... all you can really do is wait, and pray if that's your thing."
"Not really," Maine said, but hell, if there was ever a time to hope that there was some higher power, this was it, right? "How did you know?" he asked at last. "About me an' Wash, I mean."
York sat beside him and shrugged. "Delta told me. He's a smart little bugger."
Maine felt better that it hadn't been so obvious that York figured it out on his own. He fussed with his wrappings a little and then let his hands dangle limp, his elbows resting on his knees. Neither said anything for a while, but Maine was grateful for the company. It made the waiting seem less terrifying.
After a while, York looked over. "When was the last time you ate?"
Maine shrugged and shook his head. He had no idea what time it even was now, so he couldn't guess at how long it had been. He hadn't even thought about food, but now that York had brought it up, he realized he was starving.
York patted his leg and stood up, offering a hand. "Come on, let's go see what's in the mess today."
"Thanks, York," he said once he was up. Maine had never been overly close to any of the other Agents, but it was nice to feel like he had a friend in a time like this.
Rating: PG
Summary: Continuation of Tell Me I'm Wrong, Please... Stay, Not Yet, Don't, That's Kinda Hot, Never, Sigma
Washington stood just inside the door to his quarters, knowing he only had ten minutes left before he had to be at the implantation room but still unable to force himself through the door. Maine was rubbing his back softly. "It's gonna be okay. You'll just stand there and they-"
"You've told me a dozen times already what the process is like," Wash murmured.
Maine sighed. "I'll be right outside, okay? You'll walk out just fine and I'll be standing there. And when you're done with your psych evaluation, come on back to my quarters and I'll make sure you aren't thinking about anything but how good this feels," he ended with a soft laugh as he rubbed his hand across Washington's stomach and dipped just a hair lower for a moment.
Wash closed his eyes and took hold of Maine's hand, bringing it up to his chest and pressing it there. After a moment he nodded silently and opened his eyes again. "I love you," he said. Turning to look at Maine, he forced a little smile and rested his hand against his cheek.
"I love you, too," Maine said. "Now come on, I'll walk with you there."
Wash laced his fingers into Maine's, wishing more than anything he could hold his hand as they went but knowing it was impossible. He gave a last squeeze and then they let go, leaving the safety of Wash's quarters and heading down the hall side by side. "Who all has got theirs now?" he asked, having mostly kept himself out of the loop as far as that was concerned.
"Um, lemme see. I think so far it's Wyoming, Montana, Jersey, York, North, Tex, Oregon... I forget who all. Probably would be quicker to list who hasn't."
"And they're all fine?"
Maine cracked a grin. "Well, some of them weren't fine to begin with," he said, then quickly added, "but yeah, they're fine."
Wash nodded and seemed to relax a little. They walked the rest of the distance in silence, but Maine could tell he was becoming more easy with the idea. When they reached the implantation lab, Maine put his hand on Wash's shoulder for a last moment of support, then Wash walked on ahead into the room and Maine leaned back against the wall just outside.
The minutes ticked by slowly. Maine was tapping the back of his head against the wall as he waited. "Hey... Sigma?"
"Hello! How may I be-"
"Dude, I already told you you can drop the formalities. It's kind of annoying."
Sigma's projection flickered somewhat. "How would you prefer me to acknowledge you?"
"I dunno," Maine said. "Something less... rigid. Can't you sound a bit less like a computer?"
"I am a program," he pointed out, "but I will do my best. What else can I do for you?"
Maine wasn't really sure why he had called Sigma up, other than he just did not want to be alone as he waited. Something about Wash's unease had rubbed off on him and he just felt better having someone else nearby; or at least the sensation of someone else.
"Ah. I understand."
Maine was confused for a moment. Had he said that out loud? "Wait, what? I didn't say anything."
"You did not have to. I am in your head, Maine."
"Oh. Uh, right."
"May I ask you something?"
Maine shrugged. "Sure, go ahead."
"Why?"
"Why wha- oh. Heh." Maine was beginning to understand what it meant to have someone else in your head. A lot less needed to be said than usual. "Oh, that. Um..." A little smile pulled at his lips and he felt that wonderful warmth in his chest like he always got when he thought of Wash. He also realized that he didn't have to say anything, he could tell that what he was thinking, Sigma was picking up on and even responding to.
Each new thought that surfaced was brought to life as Sigma gleaned it from his thoughts, enhancing the memories to almost real. He could practically hear Wash whispering in his ear, almost feel his body next to him. He could feel - more than he had even realized - just how much of himself was wrapped up in Washington.
When Sigma was finished, he projected himself again, seeming to glow brighter than he had before. "That is beautiful, Maine."
Maine smiled and rested his head back on the wall again. "Yeah. He sure is," he murmured.
Whatever Sigma was going to say next was lost in the gut-wrenching scream that came from the implantation room. Maine's eyes flew open and panic jumped inside him. "Was that-"
He saw Wash go down and a group of doctors rush to his side. Maine wanted to be right there as well but something was holding him back as if physically preventing him from moving.
"No, Maine! Let the doctors care for him. He would not want you to risk exposing yourselves to scrutiny by losing your head now."
Maine was staring through the doorway, horrified. He was gripping the edge of the wall so tight he felt as if he might bend the steel. "I can't just do nothing!"
"There is nothing you can do. Let the doctors tend him now. When he has recovered from this initial implantation difficulty, your care and support will be exactly what he needs then, but it must stay confined to the privacy of your quarters."
"What's going on? What's wrong with him?" Maine watched with disbelief as the doctors struggled to bring Wash under control, strapping him down to a gurney at last and wheeling him out the other side of the lab.
"It is possible that he is having a greater adverse reaction to his program than you had to mine."
"No, shit! Ya think?"
"It is likely it will pass before long."
"But not definitely!"
"No."
"This is fucking bullshit!"
"I am sorry, Maine."
Maine felt like he had been stabbed in the chest. For a moment he couldn't move, couldn't do anything but stare at the door that had closed between himself and the man he loved, who was in who knows what kind of danger or pain. He was shaking with fear and rage combined.
"Maine, come away from the door. There is nothing you can do."
He did not want to go. He had told Wash he would wait outside and somehow leaving felt like breaking that promise. But Wash was not coming out. He did not even know where they had taken him. At Sigma's gentle but firm prompting, he finally tore himself away. The walk back to his quarters felt surreal.
He sat on his bed and stared ahead, unseeing. He felt numb. What the fuck was going on? What had happened back at the lab? It felt like it had all happened too fast and he hadn't even had time to really process it all.
It felt as if any moment, Wash should walk through the door, as if he had dreamed it or something. But Wash never came, and the hours passed and Maine finally felt as if he was going to snap. "I have to do something," he said at last and went to the gym, beating his fists bloody against a punching bag.
By the time he had exhausted his fight, the news had spread and it was not long before York had come up to him, standing a few feet away and watching as he sat with his back to the wall and bandaged his knuckles. "You heard about Wash, right?"
Maine looked up and shook his head. Technically, that was true - he didn't' really know a damn thing, so he figured anything York had to tell him would be news.
"Rumor is he got a bad variant. Some issue with the algorithms or some shit."
"Is... is he gonna be okay?"
York shrugged. "I don't really know any more than you do," he said, and Maine couldn't help but think that there was something more hidden behind his words. "Last I heard he was in the med-bay, hooked up to a bunch of sensors."
The tightness in Maine's chest was making it hard to even breathe. He couldn't swallow past the lump in his throat, he couldn't seem to make his mind focus on anything but that scream he had heard. The punching bag had exhausted him physically but his mind was still buzzing with worry over the unknown. He didn't even realize when York had crouched down beside him and put a hand on his shoulder.
"I know you're worried," he said softly. "I mean, we all are, but I know you are more than anyone."
Maine felt a moment of panic, but that quickly faded when he saw the look on York's face. He wasn't there to threaten or blackmail. He was genuinely worried for both of them. Maine almost started to cry and York pulled him into an embrace. "It'll be okay. The doctors will sort everything out. We're expensive pieces of military property, after all."
They parted and Maine sat back again. "Thank you, York," he said. "I... I just... I don't know what to do. What can I do?"
"Well, I can stick around if you don't want to be alone. Otherwise, I guess... all you can really do is wait, and pray if that's your thing."
"Not really," Maine said, but hell, if there was ever a time to hope that there was some higher power, this was it, right? "How did you know?" he asked at last. "About me an' Wash, I mean."
York sat beside him and shrugged. "Delta told me. He's a smart little bugger."
Maine felt better that it hadn't been so obvious that York figured it out on his own. He fussed with his wrappings a little and then let his hands dangle limp, his elbows resting on his knees. Neither said anything for a while, but Maine was grateful for the company. It made the waiting seem less terrifying.
After a while, York looked over. "When was the last time you ate?"
Maine shrugged and shook his head. He had no idea what time it even was now, so he couldn't guess at how long it had been. He hadn't even thought about food, but now that York had brought it up, he realized he was starving.
York patted his leg and stood up, offering a hand. "Come on, let's go see what's in the mess today."
"Thanks, York," he said once he was up. Maine had never been overly close to any of the other Agents, but it was nice to feel like he had a friend in a time like this.