The Ethical Lecher.

[nobodobodon]

This is something I said I'd toss together. It's a bit rough, but I think it's a pretty good beginning. There has been a lot of recent discussion on some lists and other people's LJs about protecting your own boundaries. Someone asked "What if I'm the Creep?" This is my attempt to answer that question

Comments

[lancehunter]

I just wanted to say that I particularly liked point 4. Well written.

[silverize]

Awesome!

[m7superstar]

What if the lecher is female?

[nobodobodon]

As I mention in the second paragraph, my hope is that it still applies to other combinations. Honestly, I don't know if it applies very well, though.

I see a lot more problems with male-on-female lechery than female-initiated lechery. Probably because of the rarity, thought, it's even harder to deal with.

Maybe some women who have been identified as creepy and amended their ways would step up with some advice for their icky sisters?

[achild]

I've definitely seen problems/heard complaints with female-on-male and female-on-female lechery.

I don't think I'd change anything in your list above to adjust for non-sexual issues or different genders. It's pretty global in scope.

[m7superstar]

I seem to be a magnet for the creepy female type. At the last three big parties I've attended, I've had at least one encounter with a gal who thought I was born to be fondled by her.

I usually avoid these types afterwards.

My point is the same the Zappa's: Girls can be assholes too.

We really need to examine all possible options.

[superbestia]

What if you have been tasered or spray with pepper spray/mace? I think if we can find someone who has been through this it might be a good starting point as to figure out how to react to external defense mechanisms.... Other than that good wordsmithing here.....

Re: We really need to examine all possible options.

[nobodobodon]

Pepper spray - skip to step 2a.

[crashmybike]

Excellent commentary!

Concerning how "sorry" can be used, I've also known people to use it as a deflection when called on their bad behavior. The person I've seen this from the most has a tendancy to repeat the behavior they were apologizing for, and then gets resentful (probably from embarassment) when they are called out for apologizing. Its a way of manipulating a social rule in their own favor: If they say they are sorry, then its now up to me to be forgiving since they "apologized".

[nobodobodon]

I'm sure he means well.

http://nobodobodon.livejournal.com/101119.html