I plead Pine Farr, pt. 2

[no_detective]

This past Sunday, barely-bean and krisdia came by for some quiche Lorraine, mimosas, and PineathonTM part 2. We had:

- Bottle Shock, which I've already kind of pimped in my reverse cowgirl post. *cough* I'm happy to say that the Terrible Horrible No Good Hair of Hippie!Fine proved to be no deterrent, as our little party reached the consensus of HELL YEAH WE'D

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[svilleficrecs]

*whistles VERY INNOCENTLY* *JUST LIKE HE DOES*

*GOD THEY HAVE SO MUCH SEX YOU KNOW THEY DO*

The sort of sex that is 80% wholesome and 20% filthier than you thought you could imagine, but you don't have to, because he is JUST THAT DIRTY.

Er. *adjusts collar* I'm just sayin'

[no_detective]

YOUR WHISTLING FILLS ME WITH HOPE, SVILLE. A GREAT HOPE FOR PORN TO COME.

God, just - the dirty 20% will be sort of shockingly dirty, right? As in, she can't think or speak or even or close her mouth (which opened in utter utter shock) dirty, but then because he just DOES THESE FITHY THINGS and he's SO GOOD AT THEM, she kinda... goes along. Like it's the most natural thing in the world. (which it is, because OH GOD NICHOLAS.)

Also, his restraint with her in the movie kinda drives me insane. It's so... PROMISING.

*shakes pompoms in your general direction*

[svilleficrecs]

The dirty 20% will be made up of the sort of stuff one assumes is just an urban legend or a punchline of an appallingly filthy joke until one tries it and is like ... *oh*.

And YES, his restraint with her is the hottest thing EVER except for the part where he grabs her by the neck when he kisses her by the fountain. GAH.

I loveloveLOVE how he his totally the femme fatale in this movie and his uncle is totally like SLUT IT UP WITH HER YOU MANWHORE and make her feel LIKE A WOMAN.

[no_detective]

YES - the neck grabbing!!! That's... yes.

Oh my fucking god, he IS THE FEMME FATALE. How did I not notice this before. Oh my god, that makes everything EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW.

*is dazzled*

[svilleficrecs]

Also, that scene was not in the movie because Disney did not know what to do with HOW FUCKING HOT the chemistry between him and Mia was and so they had to calm it down as much as they could.

Also: TROOFAX. Guess who was the screenwriter for PD2? Shonda Rhimes. Of Grey's (adulterytastic) Anatomy. Once I knew that and rewatched I was like Oh. Okay. I totally see it.

[no_detective]

He would have upstaged the STAR, and he would have made all those teenage girls feel funny in their panties. Which is so not the Disney way! (That's what the Jonas brothers are for.) And yes, after that scene, it would've been a hard sell that they didn't fuck by the lake. Because SERIOUSLY.

Ahahahaha, Shonda Rhimes!!! That makes too much sense.

[svilleficrecs]

(troofax: he totally fingerfucked her under the blanket and got her off liekwhoa and she totally wanted to Do It but they had no condoms and also he wasn't about to have her first time be some frantic outdoor fuck on the dirt. And he totally came in his pants just from the squirming and woodland-creature-like noises she made (okay and a little dry humping) and she thought that was LOLtastic). But the almost-sex was totally why she was all "SORRY YOU DIDN'T GET ANYTHING JUICIER" the next morning. But she totally trolled Genovian TMZ looking for nightvision footage of her getting fingerfucked... which wasn't there because the camera guy didn't show up until morning. )

Um... TROOFAX. *runs away and hides*

[no_detective]

YOU ARE SO, SO GOOD TO ME. SO FUCKING GOOD. THANK YOU FOR THIS CANONICAL EXCERPT. (She'd think it was LOLtastic that he came in his pants, and he'd probably be nonplussed - like, what's so LOLtastic about this and can't she take the wet-spot-in-pants as the giant compliment it truly is?! Oh, virgins. ♥)

Ahahahaha Genovian TMZ!

Hey, you had a post a while back about the dance they do in the movie, right? In looking for PD2 clips on YouTube, I stumbled upon this scene (sorry, can't find it now) from the first movie that describes the national Genovian dance as something between a waltz and a tango. But from what I could see in PD2, it's mostly waltz. (Does that help/matter at this point?)

[ubixtiz]

Oh heck, that was him in PD2? Now I'll have to watch it again! (Oh, poor me, rewatching bad movies I totally already own on DVD because of my mad crush on Anne Hathaway...)

[no_detective]

Ahahaha, I approve of your reasoning!

Seriously, I watched the ENTIRE made-for-TV debacle that was Surrender, Dorothy because CFine was playing Tom Everett Scott's boyfriend. It was... almost worth it. (Gah, that movie is horrible.)

[jonesiexxx]

Guh.

I am having muchly the age-inappropriate lust.

[no_detective]

Appropriate, schmappropriate. He is legal in any country in the world, my dear, including Jonesland.

(And even if he weren't... well. We'd just have to find a way to, uh, legalize him.)